It’s not just John McCain, but all of “these people,” who can think of no better way to spend their time than by making petty one-liners about Barack Obama giving a speech to a large number of human beings somewhere. Famous conservative bastion The Corner — the National Review’s chit-chatty blog — is having a field day even by its high standards. After the jump, some of the notable moments from this online club of semi-literate divorcees forever bitching about their exes. MORE »

• WAIT, WHAT?: The Washington Post’s masterful Chris Cillizza: “A huge crowd today could be a mixed blessing for Obama. On the one hand, it is a potent symbol of the excitement his candidacy has caused worldwide. On the other, thousands and thousands of cheering Germans may not play well stateside. Does a big crowd work to Obama’s benefit or detriment? Or somewhere in between?” The teevee crowd, of course, shares this sentiment. What do these people mean? That the “benefit” is the image of a large, excited crowd, and the “detriment” is that it’s a large, excited crowd of Nazis? [WP/The Fix]

For Christ’s sake, Walnuts, you’re making it too easy: “He tells reporters in a Columbus, Ohio German restaurant he’d love to give a speech in Germany. ‘But I’d much prefer to do it as president of the United States rather than as a candidate for president.’” Maybe he could’ve DONE ANYTHING ELSE besides this, during Obama’s speech? WATCHING IT AT A GERMAN RESTAURANT IN OHIO? WHINING? Take a nap, my friend. [The Page]

Mean old John McCain was all, “Oh yeah, boy? Go fight The Kaiser in Nazi Germany like I did, then we’ll see who was tortured.” So Barack Obama got on a plane and went to Germany, via every other country in the world, and now he’s going to give his famous speech! We are going to liveblog it! You can tell your kids about this day, when you were at work, and Wonkette liveblogged some thing on teevee! MORE »

• YES, WE WILL BE LIVEBLOGGING OBAMA’S BERLIN SPEECH: From the moment he flies in on his Bat-wings to his ecstatic departure aboard the Paultard zeppelin to Mars, we will be there with you, typing. Stay tuned.

That Barack Obama is a such a compulsive prevaricator that he cannot admit he speaks an exotic foreign tongue until he’s hanging out with a bunch of reporters. Remember how he very unpatriotically admitted feeling “embarrassed” that he doesn’t speak a foreign language? Well that was just a bunch of lies because he does speak some language, one that many people have not even heard of. Is it Klingon? MORE »

Like so many McCain campaign disasters — choosing Phil “Poor People Suck” Gramm as financial adviser or announcing a press conference on an oil rig during a hurricane — it probably seemed like a terrific idea at the time: Harass Barack Obama into embarking on an international fact-finding mission thing, which would obviously provide so many embarrassing gaffes and make Americans scared to death of the Boy Muslim President. MORE »

Ha, so get this. John McCain and pals very recently came up with the MEDIA PLOY OF THE CENTURY: they were going to Take The Media Back from Barack Obama during his big speech in Berlin tomorrow, which at least 400 million people will attend (hurrah), by speaking from an oil rig off the coast of Louisiana. Surely all reporters and cameramen would’ve rushed to cover this instead, because what’s a better venue for a media grab than some tiny offshore piece of metal that’s only reachable by helicopter? But now, after publicizing this brilliant coup, McCain has had to cancel it because of, whatitscalled, THE MONSTROUS HURRICANE THAT IS DESTROYING EVERYTHING IN THE GULF. MORE »

ANGELA MERKEL INSPECTS BARACK OBAMA’S EQUIPMENT, FINDS IT SATISFACTORY: “Asked at a news conference on Wednesday what she thought of Obama, Merkel responded: ‘I would say that he is well-equipped — physically, mentally and politically.’” [Reuters]

Here’s the fourth paragraph in today’s offering from New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol: “The Siegessäule is an impressive structure (especially if you have a militaristic bent). It’s a large fluted sandstone column on a base of polished red granite, topped by a golden statue of winged Victory. Completed in 1873, it commemorates Prussia’s victories in the previous decade over Denmark, Austria and France. The column was lengthened and relocated to its present site in 1939.” Well now you know more about the large cock in the middle of Berlin from which Barack Obama will deliver his Speech this week. This is what Kristol does to us. MORE »

Barry Obama’s still living large on his European/Central Asian/Middle East luxury basketball vacation, which will finish up with a big speech rally thing in Berlin, the German city where David Bowie recorded Heroes. But just like when JFK and Ronald Reagan went to East Berlin and demanded that Hitler “Tear Down That Wall,” it seems Obama is bringing his own “Ugly American” act to Deutschland. MORE »