germany
Austrian Turks Go To ‘Red Alert’ Over Star Wars Lego Set
In yet another case of the Clash of Civilizations, members of Austria’s Turkish community are angrier than a Twi’lek having a bad lekku day at the makers of Lego building blocks because they believe that the Lego “Jabba The Hutt’s Palace” playset might spark Islamophobia and cause children to associate Islam with terrorism and violence. [...]
Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: Tea Party Lessons For The Whores Of Rome
(Rome) I just finished a perfectly-prepared sardine antipasti, caprese salad, and a plate of grilled calamari. The wine was a Pinot Grigio from the area. Nice. It’s hot as hell here, but a breeze is blowing off Palatine Hill, where Romulus and Remus suckled the she-wolf. When I close my eyes I can almost hear [...]
Underwater German Deathbots To Keep Sweet, Sweet Crude A-Bubblin’
The realpolitik wunderkinds in charge of Iran have been threatening for awhile now to respond to a Western boycott on their oil by cutting off access to ALL the oil, but now the loose-lipped traitors at Nobama’s Pentagon have let it slip that the U.S. Navy is globally forcing some good into what they call [...]
Mitt Romney Considers First Ever Global War Tour!
Whatta we got in the local clip ‘n’ save today? “Mitt Romney’s campaign is considering a major foreign policy offensive at the end of the month that would take him to five countries over three continents…” HMMMMM. You have to wait until you *win* the presidential election to launch world war, dingus. And then it’s [...]
War On Christmas Started By Hitler, Because of Advent Calendars
Every year about this time, the nation opens the “advent calendars” of its secret CIA prisons all over the world to say “hi” to the people always plotting against us by waging a War on Christmas. But did you know that the War On Christmas did not start in CIA murder-torture prisons, but actually in [...]
Hitler’s Sexy, Fun, Yoga-Loving Gal Also Wore ‘Blackface’
If you could dig up German cutie Eva Braun and somehow make her alive again, like she was in the glamorous 1940s when she did blackface show tunes for boyfriend Adolf Hitler, then America might just have the one woman who could finally become president of America. Sorry Sarah, but you’re not sexy enough! Also, [...]
Evil Stem Cells Further Gay Agenda By Curing Guy With HIV
Doctors in Germany believe they have cured a 42-year-old man of HIV after giving him a stem cell transplant three years ago, apparent Halloween-novelty medical journal Blood reports. Well isn’t this just great news for the Gay Agenda. Germany, as we all know, is where the Nazis came from, so it should come as no [...]
Germany TERRORIST DRY-RUN Bomb Was Made By California Grandmother
That “dry-run” terrorist bomb that put Europe on high alert the past week? It was made by your grandma: A dummy bomb that sparked an international terror alert was made by an 80-year-old woman in California and ended up discarded in a Namibia airport because of “a boo-boo,” NBC News reported Friday. [...] It remains [...]
Rest In Peace, Paul the German Octopus
Oh, this is a sad day for psychic sea creatures: Paul the Octopus, who accurately predicted the result of every German soccer match as well as the final in this year’s World Cup in South Africa, has died. The mollusk-turned-sage passed away naturally in his aquarium in the western German city of Oberhausen overnight, Sealife [...]
Hooray! World War I Is Now Over! USA! USA! USA!
Germany is finally paying off the last of its reparations for World War I, so we can now close that chapter of world history with a bitchin’ victory party. Yes! We did it! Those Krauts paid out! The principal representative of the British Treasury at the Paris Peace Conference, John Maynard Keynes, resigned in June [...]
America: Where Gold Flows Like Sierra Mist
The paranoid-chalkboard set of America just can’t get enough gold bars because of the looming installation of the Amero. Luckily some enterprising German capitalists are installing gold vending machines all over our great nation for teabaggers to drool all over as they spend all their investment capital (lottery tickets) on beautiful hunks of financial security. [...]
Even Communist Europeans Making More Money Than Us
“The business of America is business” said Calvin Coolidge, America’s greatest president; the obvious implication is that the business of America’s enemies, the Foreigns, is using their eight weeks of vacation to sit around in romantic cafes, smoking and discussing their latest extramarital affairs with rueful detachment. That’s why it’s particularly disheartening to learn that [...]
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