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Tag: geraldo rivera

Wonkagenda: Thursday, August 11, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Bill O’Reilly Sad We ‘Smear Merchants’ Tried To Assassinate Him For His Weird Slavery Comments

Smear Merchants is our new Wonkette house band name, we are calling it now.

History’s Greatest Love Affair: Donald Trump and Geraldo Rivera

Donald Trump and Geraldo Rivera have a complicated relationship. They theoretically have undying love for one another (but not in a gay way, because no homo bro) yet is that love really possible when they each adore themselves so...

2015 In Rap, By A White Kid Who’s Been A Rap Fan Since At Least 2014

Since we at Wonkette are notorious lie-berals who don’t know nuffin about nuffin because we are so stupid and liberal, and since you all belong to the demographic of “Olde,” we decided that some nice outrage would be just...

Dana Perino So Sad George Bush Blamed For 9/11 Attack That Never Even Happened

Dana Perino, current Fox Blonde and former spokestwit for President Dubya, is none too happy that people are saying means about her boyfriend George. On Fox New's "The Five," she and four other Fox Morons discussed how unfair it is that...
This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point.

Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong

Yr Wonkette, as you know, is a pro-life mommyblog. HEAR US OUT. We're pro-life in the REAL, grown-up way, the one where abortion is legal, and women should have a right to do with their living bodies as they...
Also a schmuck

Rick Santorum Begs Jews To Hate His Guts Too

Look, kids, it's repugnant fuck-eyed canker blossom Rick Santorum, trying to steal some attention from Mike Huckabee, who is trying to steal some attention from Donald Trump. And also to submit his name for Schmuck of The Year 5775,...
Kinda!

Killer Mike Doesn’t Hit His Wife, And Other Reasons Hip-Hop Is More Moral Than Bill O’Reilly

It's a common trope, if you are a right-wing bigot: Racism doesn't hurt black people, hippity-hop rap music hurts black people, what with its jiving and twerking and PULL THOSE PANTS UP, and BACK IN MY DAY! In recent...
Shed a tear for Denny

Won’t Someone PLEASE Think Of Poor Blackmailed Maybe Child Molester Denny Hastert?

We had to know this was coming. Because indicted former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert is not merely accused of illegally withdrawing $1.7 million in hush money cash, and lying to the FBI about it, all to keep...

Oklahoma Legislator Wants Hoodies To Be Illegal When Cops Feel Like It, Punk

Oklahoma state Sen. Don Barrington has decided to use the power of his office to take a bold stand against depraved criminals menacing the public. He's apparently taken inspiration from noted crime experts like Geraldo Rivera and  an Oklahoma City...

Geraldo Rivera Can Suck My 41-Year-Old Dick

Let's watch Geraldo Rivera open his big, lechy, fleshy mouth, and say some words with it. Some words that may inspire us to a nice soothing morning SHIT-FLIPPING. Did you watch? Of course you didn't, you are not stupid. Well,...

Saddam Hussein Shoots Down Malaysian Airliner; Time To Invade Cuba

A Malaysia Air 777 has crashed, probably shot down by a ground-to-air missile, over eastern Ukraine today. We are still in the early "very little is confirmed" stages of this story, so get ready for all sorts of maybe-facts...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Dredge Of Drips, Dreck, And Drudge

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you stories that didn't quite merit a post of their own, but that were too stupid to ignore altogether. As always, you may want to fortify...

New York City, We Will Be Marching On Your ‘Drinking Liberally’ Tonight

Ok, fellas, here is what we're gonna do. The Drinking Liberally squadron will be massing in Hell's Kitchen tonight, Thursday, at 7:30 p.m. They'll be fortifying their supply lines at Rudy's on 9th Avenue between 44th and 45th. That's...

Lookin’ Good, Geraldo Selfie

If Geraldo Rivera wants to post towel selfies, we say fuck yeah, Geraldo Rivera, post you some towel selfies! We are not doing this newfangled "sarcasm" thing when we say this country and its people should have less shame....

Roger Ailes Shuts Geraldo Rivera’s Mouth For Him

Hey, remember that fun video (above) of Geraldo Rivera laying down a righteous hissy over the LIES and PRIMROSE PATHS paved by his buddies, the Fox & Friends? It was from two days before the election, and Geraldo was...