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Posts Tagged ‘georgia’

SMEAR CAMPAIGNS

Potential Agriculture Secretary Likes To Pee In Cups, On Airplanes

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

A Georgia Congressman, Sanford Bishop, has been cited as being on the short list for whatever snoozer of a position Obama still needs to fill in his Cabinet… Ah, the position would be Secretary of Agriculture. You know, “farms.” Well the liberal Internet would hate this guy, it appears, because he’s a conservative Democrat who loves war and, more pertinently, usually sides with big agribusiness. In other words, the liberal Internet must destroy him immediately, with an embarrassing story, before he becomes President of Farms. And this is why the very liberal Firedoglake blog is now telling a comical story about how this Bishop guy wandered around restricted airplane areas to piss in a cup, once. MORE »


GOD DAMN AMERICA

Massive Crowds Protest Jeremiah Wright In Georgia

Tuesday, December 16th, 2008

Charlatans.If there was one thing the 2008 election taught us, it’s that African-American politicians no longer need to court fire-breathing black pastors to get elected. Now, thanks to Barack Obama, Reverend Jeremiah Wright is quite possibly one of the most powerless black liberation theologists in the country! And this is why it was very, very important for nearly 20 brave Georgians to protest him when he came to Macon to deliver a sermon. MORE »


THE LAST ELECTION

Actual Confederate Owner Of Slave Plantations Wins Georgia Runoff

Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008

Ha ha, Jim Martin lost like a little gay baby, and now we know why Obama never campaigned in the state for him: his two-time Senate election losingness in the same election. “With 90 percent of the state’s precincts reporting in Tuesday’s runoff election, Mr. Chambliss had 59 percent of the vote, and his Democratic challenger, Jim Martin, had 41 percent.” So this means that 2008 wasn’t just a good year for Republicans, but the best year. Now we will go back to never posting about dumb Saxby Chambliss, but if we have to, we’ll always have the perfect boob-grabbing photo. [NYT]


THE LAST ELECTION

Saxby Chambliss Will Probably Win Georgia Runoff, Which Is… GAH It’s Tomorrow!

Monday, December 1st, 2008

The 2008 Georgia Senate runoff — the single most important election since Clinton/Dole — is happening December 2nd, which is technically “tomorrow,” although that can’t possibly be true — it always sounded like something that would be “a few weeks away,” permanently. But it’s tomorrow and [Democrat] will probably lose to ol’ Saxby “Tit Clown” Chambliss. MORE »


HOPE

Innovative Saxby Chambliss Campaigns On Promise To Do Whatever Alan Greenspan Says

Monday, December 1st, 2008

Here’s heavy-petting Saxby Chambliss defending himself, on the Fox News, against a Jim Martin ad that quotes Chambliss saying he doesn’t even know what the term “recession” means. We’ll cut him some slack on that, because a new person is declaring a new version of the word everyday. But what’s notable is that Chambliss defends his comment by saying that he was quoting Alan Greenspan, people. He appears still to think that this is the ’90s/early ’00s, when name-dropping Greenspan worked as a blanket defense against criticism or, more importantly, an excuse not to learn anything about economics. This caused several problems. [YouTube]


UHH ...

And A Happy Thanksgiving To You, Saxby Chambliss!

Thursday, November 27th, 2008

How could we let Thanksgiving end without sharing C.S.A. Colonel Saxby Chambliss and family’s warm regards? What a lovely surprise! And the children! They tell us to vote for their “Big Daddy,” gross. “Big Daddy” responds with a white-knuckled clench of the little girl’s breast. [YouTube]


KILL US ALL

McCain, Palin, Obama Consider ‘Election Of Doom Reunion Tour 2k8′ Across Georgia

Friday, November 7th, 2008

And this time, on bikes!!Remember when the election ended on Tuesday? Well, SECRET: it didn’t. Now that racist colonel Saxby Chambliss has been forced into a Senate runoff in Georgia against Democratic challenger Jim Martin (Dec. 2 — mark yr calendars!), the entire political world will descend on the former penal colony for one last romp in the swamp! John McCain has agreed to campaign for Chambliss already; Sarah Palin wants to campaign but, um, “scheduling conflicts;” and Jim Martin wants Barack Obama to come down and galvanize his merry band of black people straight to the polls! Obama has not agreed yet, however, since he now has to fix a global economy and not get us nuked. Presidents should be able to multitask though, right OBAMER? Let’s hope the reunion tour is every bit is “fun” as the general election was. [AJC]


CONFEDERATES

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

HAHAHA SAXBY CHAMBLISS SUCKS: Betcha thought ol’ Georgia slaveowning Senator Saxby Chambliss was going to pull off a win against Democrat Jim Martin last night, DI’NTCHA NOW? Well, in comical fashion, Saxby’s vote share dipped to 49.9% at the last minute, and in Georgia a majority is required. That means there’ll probably be a runoff between Chambliss and Martin on Dec. 2. You get a second chance, Georgia — get it right. Shit, HIS NAME IS SAXBY CHAMBLISS! He does not care for you! [AJC]


WORLD OF RETARDS

Thursday, September 18th, 2008
  • EVERYONE STOP BEING MEAN!: Georgia lobbed missiles at Russia, then Russia killed everyone, then the U.S. signed a deal with Poland for that missile defense thing just to piss off Russia, and now Russia is selling missiles to Iran and Venezuela just to piss off the U.S. WTF? Why can’t all of these people act like grown-ups, sheesh. [Times UK]

LORDY

Sarah Palin On Possible War With Russia: “Perhaps”

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

Excerpts have leaked from Charlie Gibson’s first of three interviews with Sarah Palin, which will be aired in some form tonight on his ABC News show. We were expecting a puffy sort of chit-chat, and it mostly is, except for the part where they talk about WAR WITH FREAKING RUSSIA. Now, when you run around saying Georgia and Ukraine should be let into NATO — as both John McCain and Barack Obama do — as some reward for establishing a vaguely democratic government, that’s much more than a harmless platitude — there are actual, real-world implications! No one has really bothered to push McCain or Obama on this, which is why it’s so hilarious that Gibson pushed Palin on it during her first big interview. And she fucked up. MORE »


DISPROVEN THEORIES

Monday, September 8th, 2008
  • THE WORLD IS FAT: Apparently the Great Russia-Georgia Conflagration of 2008 broke some stupid thing called the “McDonald’s theory of war” which surmises that two countries containing McDonald’s restaurants will never war with each other, because citizens on both sides will have become terribly fat slobs, all. This sounds like some hollow postulate Thomas Friedman would’ve “invented” during the rise of globalization! And that’s exactly true. The 21st century will be an new epoch of warfare in which gangs of fat asses kill the other side with robots from their Xboxes. [Guardian via Kottke]