Tag Archives: georgia

  It's Definitely Not About Race

Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People

Frank Millar's nightmare
Republican Georgia state Sen. Fran Millar knows what elections are about. Elections are about winning. They are NOT, however, about letting just anybody vote, especially if they comprise the majority in a particular part of Atlanta, if you get his drift. Actually you don’t need to get his drift, because he just says it openly: Millar has vowed to end early voting at a DeKalb County polling place that simply has too many blacks in the neighborhood. Read more on Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People…
  Racism is over part eleventy billion

Georgia Republican Very Disappointed President Obama Has Not Ended Racism

Of all the embarrassing American totems we may have exported to Australia (Budweiser, country music, Keanu Reeves), could any of them be more embarrassing than an old white Republican from Georgia talking about the state of race relations in our country? And yet somehow we allowed this to happen just the other day. America! Not only have we failed black people in so many ways, we’ve even failed at sending out emissaries to talk about the plight of black people. Read more on Georgia Republican Very Disappointed President Obama Has Not Ended Racism…
  Stop Resisting! Stop Resisting!

Who Wants To Watch This Nice Journalist Lady ‘Resist Arrest,’ With Her Face?

It is a good thing the nice citizen journalist lady getting roughed up by this porcine sheriff fellow at a Gov. Nathan Deal event in Georgia is white, or we are guessing that the whole time she “resisted arrest” (asked for his name and to see his badge), she was probably actually going for his gun. Or maybe “charging like a bull.” It’s an epidemic these days! Read more on Who Wants To Watch This Nice Journalist Lady ‘Resist Arrest,’ With Her Face?…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Paul Ryan Has A ‘Book,’ Bald Eagle Poop Isn’t Purple, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Good morning, everything is terrible again. Hooray, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-His Butt) has a new book out, called How I Learned To Stop Caring What Jesus Actually Had To Say Because I Sure Do Hate The Poors, or whatever he’s calling it, who cares? Courtesy of The Agenda Project Action Fund, please enjoy the original book cover above. You’re welcome. Read more on Paul Ryan Has A ‘Book,’ Bald Eagle Poop Isn’t Purple, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Power walking for Jesus

Now You Can’t Even Hold A Prayer Circle In A Shopping Mall, Thanks Obama

Where would Jesus shop?
The war on Religious Freedoms & Liberty is getting bloodier every day. Homophobes can barely even homophobe in public anymore. Men who think women should just DON’T HAVE SEX (except with them, of course) have to exist in a universe in which women have sex anyway (except with them, of course). And now you cannot even get your prayer on in a shopping mall: Read more on Now You Can’t Even Hold A Prayer Circle In A Shopping Mall, Thanks Obama…
  Oy Gevalt

Can You Even Milk A Jew? They Are Not Cats

But milk the Jew before you throw him down the well
Oh, golly, did Jim Hoft, the Stupidest Man on the Internet, ever get a scoop Wednesday! Well, not a scoop, exactly, but it’s plenty outrageous, as his screaming headline indicates: “Dem 2014 Campaign Strategy Released Online: Milk the Jews.” And mercy, his dudgeon is set at a high level indeed: Read more on Can You Even Milk A Jew? They Are Not Cats…
  our well regulated militia

Good Guy With Gun Goes To Jail Just For Holding Other Good Guy With Gun At Gunpoint :(

In a development that no one could have predicted, the first day of Georgia’s exciting new “Guns Everywhere” law was celebrated with an armed encounter between two open-carrying gentlemen in a convenience store. Happily, since An Armed Society Is A Polite Society, the incident didn’t actually escalate to gunplay, proving that there’s definitely nothing to worry about, ever. The Valdosta Daily Times explained it was all just a little “misunderstanding,” one of those things that just happens now and then, like accidentally reaching for the wrong shopping cart (which you can now shoot someone for if you believe he or she is going to attack you with your own shopping cart). What happened was that Responsible Gun Owner Ronald Williams, 62, was in the convenience store when a second Responsible Gun Owner, name not mentioned, came into the store. Both men had holstered shootin’ irons on their hips. Williams, perhaps itching to know whether he was facing a Responsible Gun Owner or a Bad Guy With a Gun, then unholstered his gun and demanded that the second gentleman show him some identification and a permit for that there gun. It should be noted that Williams did not point his gun at the second man, because Polite Society. Read more on Good Guy With Gun Goes To Jail Just For Holding Other Good Guy With Gun At Gunpoint :(…
  theocracy in action

Cool Georgia GOP Candidate Pretty Sure The First Amendment Doesn’t Cover Muslims

Let us tell you about how yr Wonkette accidentally made a monster years ago, and only now is that chicken coming home to roost. (Mixed metaphors, whatever, fuck off.) In 2010, we mock-endorsed some ridiculous wingnut nobody for a Georgia Congressional race, just because we could. Our endorsee, Jody Hice, ended up doing surprisingly well in that race, but did not ascend to a House throne. The confidence boost he got from our backing clearly never disappeared, however, as Hice has now flung himself at the GOP primary for the 10th district of Georgia seat. No less a luminary than Erick Erickson has endorsed Hice, so you know he’s a quality severe wingnut extraordinaire. He also is a super First Amendment defender, except for the part where he doesn’t believe that the First Amendment covers Muslims. Let’s check out Jody’s website for his stirring defense of religious liberty first, shall we? Read more on Cool Georgia GOP Candidate Pretty Sure The First Amendment Doesn’t Cover Muslims…
  two-way tie for worst

Georgia Hopes They Will Do A Better Job At Killing Someone Than Oklahoma Did

About six weeks ago, we wrote a completely unfunny post about a botched execution in Oklahoma in which Clayton Lockett died a lengthy and agonizing death because the whole affair was basically fueled by Mystery Death Drug. States have begun using versions of Mystery Death Drug because overseas manufacturers have refused to supply the key ingredient, basically saying “naw mang, we are not going to sell you that stuff, America, because you just keep killing people with it.” We should have known that little things like a horrible death and the lack of a medically sound method would not stand in the way of the state getting its kill on. Read more on Georgia Hopes They Will Do A Better Job At Killing Someone Than Oklahoma Did…
  well shit not again

Breaking: ‘Sovereign Citizen’ Thinks Georgia Courthouse Is Omaha Beach, Attacks Deputy, Dies

Looks like another Sovereign Citizen was trying to start a one-man revolution against the corrupt institutions of government (or, of course, it’s yet another false-flag scheme to take our Guns and Freedom). The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports that a gentleman named Dennis Marx (so obviously another of the right’s “violent liberal Marxists”), who “identified himself as a sovereign citizen” and who had been scheduled to enter a plea on drug and weapons charges, drove his SUV up to the steps of the Forsyth County Courthouse in Cumming, Georgia, jumped out of the vehicle, and began firing a semiautomatic assault rifle at the courthouse. Sheriff’s deputies returned fire, killing Marx; one deputy, later identified as Daniel Rush, was wounded in the leg and is “expected to be OK,” according to a post on the Sheriff’s Office Facebook page. So let’s hear it for well-trained law enforcement officers, who actually are (a lot of the time!) good guys with guns. Read more on Breaking: ‘Sovereign Citizen’ Thinks Georgia Courthouse Is Omaha Beach, Attacks Deputy, Dies…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Fun Tips For Hiding Your Loaded Guns

Hurrah, Yr Derp Roundup is back after a brief hiatus, and we are delighted to bring you a premium selection of the gunk that was stuck to our browser tabs, stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but were too stupid to ignore altogether. We recommend adding the reality-dilution substances of your choice. Read more on Derp Roundup: Fun Tips For Hiding Your Loaded Guns…
  stupor tuesday

A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(

In the closest thing to a “Super Tuesday” in this off-year election, a whole bunch of Tea Party candidates did worse than expected against “mainstream” Republicans who had better funding and who all sound like teabaggers now anyway. The biggest win of the night was less of a surprise now than it might have been a couple months back: Senate Minority Leader Mitch “Lord Terrapin” McConnell easily won his Kentucky Senate primary against Louisville businessman and chicken-boxing enthusiast Matt “B’kaww!” Bevin. Looks like institutional money and power are everything they’re cracked up to be. McConnell will face Democrat Alison Lundergan Grimes in November, and in his victory speech charmingly suggested that she is not a real Kentucky candidate, but a big Fakey McFakerton who will cram Obamacare down your throat, warning, “The people who handpicked my opponent are not on your side.” And so the Charm Offensive begins. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Primary Election Results. Neither Crazy Idaho Guy Won :(…
  and barry goldwater thought 'au h2o' was clever

Georgia School Stops Being A Jerk About Young Nerd Lady’s Filthy Science Joke

Here’s your feel-good fun-time story of the day! Paris Gray, a painfully bright senior at Mundy’s Mill High School in Clayton County, Georgia, made a pretty cool science joke in her yearbook: When the going gets tough just remember to Barium, Carbon, Potassium, Thorium, Astatine, Arsenic, Sulfur, Uranium, Phosphorus. And just in case you don’t have your Periodic Table handy (what is WRONG with you?), that would be: Read more on Georgia School Stops Being A Jerk About Young Nerd Lady’s Filthy Science Joke…
  It does NOT please the court actually

Al Franken So Mean To Obama Nominee Michael Boggs, Just Because He Loves Confederate Flag, ‘Crisis Pregnancy’ Centers

Because he is the most lefty liberal commie Marxist something something who has ever usurped the White House, President Barack Obama nominated this one Georgia peach named Michael Boggs to the United States District Court for the Northern District of Georgia. Boggs, a former attorney and currently a judge on the Georgia Court of Appeals, is exactly the kind of gay-marriage throat-cramming abortions-for-everyone reincarnation of Saul Alinsky you’d expect Obama to nominate. After all, he was a DEMOCRAT in the state House of Representatives. Ipso facto, prima facie, et cetera. Except for, well, not really. [NARAL] is alarmed by votes that Boggs took — as a state legislator in the early 2000s — to “channel funds to anti-choice crisis pregnancy centers and make a parental consent law even more extreme[.] And lest you think it is only the baby-killing feminazis who find Boggs problematic, think again, sucka, because there are some blah people who are a tad concerned also too. Boggs has already come under fire from civil rights icons Joseph Lowery and Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) — both of whom were awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Obama — for a vote Boggs took in opposition to removing the Confederate insignia from Georgia’s flag. Fortunately, Boggs had an opportunity to explain himself before the Senate Judiciary Committee today, and that went really well for people who are not Michael Boggs. Read more on Al Franken So Mean To Obama Nominee Michael Boggs, Just Because He Loves Confederate Flag, ‘Crisis Pregnancy’ Centers…
  wriggling around in epistolary poo

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why Do You Liberals Advocate Sleeping With Poop?

Is Dok Zoom enjoying his couple days off? Probably! But before he headed out, we made him sluice out the comments queue. It was not pretty. First up, a reply to the first of our two stories about South Dakota state Rep. Steve Hickey, who objects to men doing it in the butt. This comment came from Hickey supporter “AhContraire,” who was kind enough to ask us to follow them on Twitter, where virtually everything they wrote for the last few days was about Steve Hickey. Talk about an ass-kisser! We’d have assumed this was Steve Hickey, except that there are posts going back well before Hickey became semi-notorious. In any case, we guess at least one person was impressed by Rep. Hickey’s chat with newspaper editor Patrick Lalley, because even as we were typing up our second post on Hickey, we received this note from AhContraire: Why not have a public dialog on the medical safety of Sodomy, gay and straight, and ask these two simple medical questions? That is, Doesn’t the medical community recommend that you, “Wash your hands after you go to the bathroom.”? Yet, now there are some in the medical community that now say it’s OK to “Sleep with the waste that gets flushed down in the toilet?” and that it’s possible to live a perfectly normal life. Not quite as melodious as Hickey’s “is it OK for eight of your friends that you’re in love with to take a dump in your bed and then you can sleep in it all year long?” But it’s a pretty good amateur cover of a classic! Well done, young Turdawan! Soon, you too will be a Shith Lord. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Why Do You Liberals Advocate Sleeping With Poop?…
  ugly vile little snark mob

Deleted Comments: No, Georgia Won’t Make You Vote For A Party You Don’t Like … Yet

This time out, Dear Shitferbrains is happy to bring you something of a public service announcement, based on a note we got from someone on our side of the political fence. And so we adjust our tone settings from “withering sarcasm” to “gently chiding correction” (the “nice” setting got fried years ago). Our piece endorsing craptacular North Carolina Senate candidate Gregg Bannon drew this comment from “Psychobroad,” who was concerned about the possible negative consequences of our suggestion that readers should vote for the crazypants wacko. Psychobroad warns, Wonketeers — if NC is like GA, whatever party you vote for in a primary is the party you have to vote for in the general! I tried to be clever a few years back and voted to get the terrible Republican on the ballot, and then was not allowed to vote against him in the general. In other words, don’t be telling people to register for one party in order to vote against that party later — it might blow up on you! We thought this sounded unlikely, because for one thing how would they even know who you were voting for in the general election? And so we did a little (very little) looking into Georgia’s election law, and found a little explainer on the subject. Turns out that psychobroad is wrong, but not as wrong as we would have thought — more explainering after the jump! Read more on Deleted Comments: No, Georgia Won’t Make You Vote For A Party You Don’t Like … Yet…
  our cold dead cans

Ain’t No Party Like An NRA Party ‘Cause At An NRA Party People Wave Guns Around Like A Bunch Of Jackasses, And Other Gun News

Over the weekend the National Rifle Association held its annual Gun Fetishization and Circle Jerk for Dim-Bulb Paranoids. The lucky host city was Indianapolis, which saw itself invaded by 70,000 armed lunatics for three days of strutting jingoism and fear-mongering. Ghoulish death-head Wayne LaPierre showed up to give the very same speech that he gave at CPAC last month, which seems appropriate, since the NRA convention is basically CPAC with weaponry. Towards the end of the speech, LaPierre showed a television commercial that has to be seen to be believed (It starts at about 17:05 in the above video). As a bonus, it stars Wonkette favorite Mr. Colion Noir, who we are sad to see has yet to find a director who can get him to tone down the overly dramatic line readings. Did you feel it? Do you believe in America again? Read more on Ain’t No Party Like An NRA Party ‘Cause At An NRA Party People Wave Guns Around Like A Bunch Of Jackasses, And Other Gun News…
  john stone john barrow john bigbootee

Georgia Congressional Candidate Will Shoot British With A Cannon To Stop Obama

Say hello to John Stone and his little friend! His ancestor, he tells us, “used a cannon like this to fight the British in Savannah and win us the Constitution,” which doesn’t make one lick of sense since any fool knows that John Stone’s ancestor was actually fighting for the Articles of Confederation. But perhaps we quibble. Mr. Stone then pledges that, “As the only licensed firearms dealer in America running for Congress, I’m willing to do the same if we have to” Which is a pretty weird pledge, considering that we have not made #war on the British since 1815. Read more on Georgia Congressional Candidate Will Shoot British With A Cannon To Stop Obama…
  georgia is a gunderland

Georgia Says Screw It, Allows Guns In Airports, School Zones, Other Awesome Places To Have Guns

Today, Georgians with a hyperinflated sense of ego-driven invincibility rejoiced as Governor Nathan Deal signed into law a bill that allows them to protect innocent victims virtually anywhere they wish, like when they’re drinking or when someone gives them the sideeye for not putting anything in the collection plate. Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal signed a wide-ranging gun bill into law Wednesday that has critics howling and proponents applauding. House Bill 60, or the Safe Carry Protection Act of 2014 — which opponents have nicknamed the “guns everywhere bill” — specifies where Georgia residents can carry weapons. Included are provisions that allow residents who have concealed carry permits to take guns into some bars, churches, school zones, government buildings and certain parts of airports. What’s best about this list is that they just kept adding new and even more objectionable places to the list to distract from the previous places it made no fucking sense to have a gun. Read more on Georgia Says Screw It, Allows Guns In Airports, School Zones, Other Awesome Places To Have Guns…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

Georgia Rep. Jack Kingston Pretty Fed Up With This ‘Research’ From This ‘Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’

In today’s latest example of why primary elections mean that we can’t have nice things, Georgia Rep. Jack Kingston (R-Waffle House) has decided that he is NOT losing his chance at Saxby Chambliss’s Senate seat just because he once said that there might be a way for research to guide public policy as it relates to firearms, no sir! Flashback to December 2012, following the CIA-Mossad false flag operation tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, when the 2014 midterms were but a twinkle in the eye of long-serving members of the House, like Jack Kingston, who has represented southeastern Jaw-juh since FOREVER 1993. Back then, Kingston said this: less than a week after the Newtown shootings […] [Kingston] told a local TV station that he wanted to see more research done to understand mass shootings. “Let’s let the data lead rather than our political opinions.” Ah, but then B. Hussein Soetoro took time away from his busy schedule of Destroying Our Once Great Nation and agreed with Rep. Kingston! Obama slapped $10 million into his latest budget for additional research from the CDC, which is a slight improvement on the $0 CDC currently spends on gun violence research. And when Rep. Kingston — who chairs the Appropriations Committee — told his constituents, “I think we can find some common ground,” Beltway centrist types got super-excited, because bipartisanship gives these people a chubby. Read more on Georgia Rep. Jack Kingston Pretty Fed Up With This ‘Research’ From This ‘Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’…
  officer fiendly

Hero Georgia Cop Ready To Shoot Black Kids Building Treehouse, As Thugs Sometimes Do

In Henry County, Georgia, the cops take the “broken windows” theory of crime really really seriously, so when police officers responded to a 911 call about kids building a tree fort, one of the cops advanced on the children with his gun drawn. Can’t be too sure, you know? Janice Baptiste, the mother of 11-year-old Omari Grant, has filed an excessive force complaint against the police department, apparently unaware that only strong action can prevent children from turning into thugs. Read more on Hero Georgia Cop Ready To Shoot Black Kids Building Treehouse, As Thugs Sometimes Do…
  we don't need no education

Georgia GOP Senate Candidate Tries To Alienate Even More Voters With His Fancy Book Learning

We’re beginning to wonder exactly who the GOP sees as its base any longer. We know it isn’t the blah people or those immigrant-y brown people or gay people or effete latte-drinking Subaru-driving liberals. Given the cock-gobbling the Republican elite gave rustic Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson after he got all racist homophobe, we figured they were going for the down-home crowd kinda thing. Unvarnished rural everyman, basically. Except oh here comes GOPer David Perdue, odds-on favorite to win Georgia’s open Senate seat this year, to explain how his opponent, high school graduate Karen Handel, is just probably not smart enough to understand the issues in the election because she did not go to college like David Perdue did. Read more on Georgia GOP Senate Candidate Tries To Alienate Even More Voters With His Fancy Book Learning…