A Republican candidate for Georgia governor in 2010, John Oxendine, e-mailed political reporters about some epic YouPorn thing he had just shot, one that would destroy the Democratic candidate, former governor Roy Barnes, politically: “A campaign spokesman said the ad ‘demonstrates John Oxendine’s commitment to using innovative, cutting-edge genre to communicate serious messages in creative mediums.” He would reveal this monumental achievement at an event later Thursday night, according to the press release, “at an undisclosed laser-tag facility … closed to the public. After viewing the commercial, the volunteers will enjoy pizza and laser-tag.” Oh, we’re so making you click the clicky for this one… MORE »

Might as well just quote it wholesale: “TEMPLE, Ga. — When you walk into the Georgia Peach Oyster Bar in Paulding County, you feel like you’ve walked into a different era. Behind the pool tables stands a mannequin in a Klu Klux Klan costume, but it’s what’s outside of the Patrick Lanzo’s restaurant that has some people angry. Lanzo put up a sign that reads ‘Obama’s plan for health-care: N*&%*r rig it.’” MORE »

Poor Georgia Congressman and gubernatorial candidate Nathan Deal. He was trying in Congress this one time to make sure that all illegals either show their birth certificates or die, but then the “ghetto grandmothers” complained that they did not have their birth certificates handy. Oh, those old ladies in the ghetto! Deal has apologized, but had a very important serious point, okay? [YouTube, AJC]

• JOE BIDEN WILL THROW DOWN ANYWHERE, ANYTIME: So Barack Obama wanted to get rid of Joe Biden for the day and settled on sending him to Georgia, to say “hi” to the flood victims down there. Immediately after arriving, Joe Biden addressed the local disaster relief officials and proclaimed, “They’re all doing one heck of a job.” Ha! Was he being intentionally ironic? No, because that requires the ability to be intentionally ironic. [Ben Smith]

We’re getting pretty local here, but it is important that everyone memorize the story of how Mark Musselwhite, former mayor of “Gainesville, Georgia,” was arrested last Saturday. Basically he was constantly naked and running around naked everywhere but didn’t know he was naked, because of all the alcohol. Police report, OH YES… MORE »

Georgia gubernatorial candidate Neal Horsley, a.k.a. “The One,” wants to secede from America because of the liberals. This charming fellow made headlines a few years ago when he got into an argument with Alan Colmes, who simply couldn’t understand why Horsley would fuck the shit out of mules. (”Welcome to domestic life on the farm… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates, you might in fact have sex with it.”) And now, in an interview with Raw Story Dylan Otto Krider, Horsley says he would kill his son in a secessionist rebellion, because hey, WAR IS HELL (and also he almost killed him once before in a dumb argument, ha). MORE »

Everyone remembers Dallas, Georgia’s mayor, Boyd Austin, whose wacky friends are always fiddlin’ with his Facebook status and posting confusing jokes that are just comprehensible enough to be considered in poor taste. Boyd: be warned that there is this uneducated boomer film critic in New York who will probably write a book about you when he sees this. [Creative Loafing]

Kind of. The governor of Georgia, Sonny Perdue — an insane person — has submitted a brief for the case Northwest Austin Municipal Utility District Number One v. Holder, which will face the Supreme Court in April. The case challenges Section 5 of the Voting Rights Act which “requires federal approval for any change in election law in nine states, including Texas and Georgia, and parts of seven others.” In other words, the racist states. Perdue argues that this burdensome provision is no longer needed because things have changed — just look at all the votes that Mr. Blackington himself got in Georgia last November! MORE »

Your Wonkette loves its small-town Republican mayors who overshare their dumb little Obama jokes, so here’s some guy named Boyd Austin. A Wonkette Facebook troll operative claims that Austin is the mayor of something called “Dallas, Georgia.” And in his spare time, Austin likes to update his Facebook status with some of those wacky n***er jokes. Well, who knows what this really means.

Certain annoying parts of the Internet have been concerned with one topic exclusively this week, and it’s Rush Limbaugh. “Good for them.” Something about how he ranted about the fecklessness of the Republican minority leadership in Congress, and Obama told the Republicans to ignore that asshole, and Limbaugh responded that if they want to marry Obama so much then they’re welcome to, but it wouldn’t be a REAL AMERICAN CONSERVATIVE course of action. MORE »

A Georgia Congressman, Sanford Bishop, has been cited as being on the short list for whatever snoozer of a position Obama still needs to fill in his Cabinet… Ah, the position would be Secretary of Agriculture. You know, “farms.” Well the liberal Internet would hate this guy, it appears, because he’s a conservative Democrat who loves war and, more pertinently, usually sides with big agribusiness. In other words, the liberal Internet must destroy him immediately, with an embarrassing story, before he becomes President of Farms. And this is why the very liberal Firedoglake blog is now telling a comical story about how this Bishop guy wandered around restricted airplane areas to piss in a cup, once. MORE »