Tag Archives: georgia

  Still No Vaccine For Stupid Yet

Georgia Congresscrank Never Vaccinated His Kids And They All Turned Out Mostly OK

He's a real hot item, Loudermilk
Yet another Republican has gone on the record in favor of infectious diseases. At a town hall meeting last week in Cartersville, Georgia, freshman Rep. Barry Loudermilk explained that he thinks vaccinations should not be mandatory, because none of his unvaccinated children ever caught anything that killed them. Why, yes, Loudermilk is a member of the House Science and Technology Committee. Why do you ask? Read more on Georgia Congresscrank Never Vaccinated His Kids And They All Turned Out Mostly OK…
  No jelly-cows either that's just not right NOT IN GEORGIA

Georgia Republican Will Protect Us From Glow-In-The-Dark Jellyfish People

Never say that Georgia Republican Tom Kirby isn’t fighting for What Matters. Many politicians enter public service because there is something in their hearts that compels them to do it, for the good of their people, and Georgia state Rep. Tom Kirby is no exception. He will protect Georgians from the scourge of human jellyfish fetuses, because that his is calling in life! You didn’t know this was a problem affecting Georgia? That is because you are clearly stupid, let Tom’s website (the URL of which inexplicably ends with “pretty photo”) tell you: Read more on Georgia Republican Will Protect Us From Glow-In-The-Dark Jellyfish People…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  Where's Gen. Sherman When We Need Him?

Georgia Senate Demands A.P. History Only Teach About Shiny, Happy America

George Washington crossing the Red River
The Georgia Senate is considering a resolution condemning changes to the Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) test, because they’re worried the new framework doesn’t adequately teach high schoolers how wonderful America is. Georgia is only the latest of several states to have itself a nice freakout over the College Board’s new APUSH framework since the Republican National Committee complained last August that it presented a “consistently negative view of American history.” Read more on Georgia Senate Demands A.P. History Only Teach About Shiny, Happy America…
  2015 Looking A Lot like 2014

Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times

You just can't go wrong with Chief Wiggum
The police chief of Peachtree City, Georgia, accidentally shot his wife early in the morning of New Year’s Day. Initial reports of the shooting had said that Chief William E. McCollom had shot Margaret McCollom twice, which really would be a hell of an accident, but a correction issued by the Georgia Bureau of Investigation clarified that the “initial reports that we got from the 911 call” were in error. Chief McCollum had called 911 to report that he’d shot his wife, but it’s unclear whether the inaccurate report of two shots came from him or the 911 dispatcher. We guess in all the excitement, he kind of lost track himself. Read more on Georgia Police Chief Only Shot Wife Once, And It Was Totally An Accident Both Times…
  What The (Bleep!) Does Anyone Know?

2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’

Science: now officially optional!
We know that politicians actually started saying “I’m not a scientist” well before 2014 — Marco Rubio adopted it in 2012 when asked how old the earth was — but this was definitely the year it became Republicans’ go-to strategy for avoiding journalists’ questions about global warming and/or evolution. On matters of climate, it’s a fine supplement to the previous favorite dodge, “I believe the climate is always changing.” And what a fine year of not-science the Right has given us! Read more on 2014: The Year Of Terrible Science From People Saying ‘I’m Not A Scientist’…
  God save us every one

New Congress Hero Saves Christmas From MUUUURDER, Amen

Republican Barry Loudermilk of Georgia is not even in Congress yet, and already, he just might be our favorite congressional wingnut. He believes all the right things: Obamacare is THE WORST, except for the IRS, which is also the worst; unborned fetuses and guns are THE BEST; and YAY values and God and the Bible, oh, and the Constitution too, and boo Hollywood. Yup, we expect great things from this new member of Congress. Read more on New Congress Hero Saves Christmas From MUUUURDER, Amen…
  Only To Find Gideon's Bible

Nice Georgia Elementary School Giving All Its Children The Gift Of Jesus, Hooray!

Wrong Rocky Raccoon. (I take a 7 1/2)
A Georgia elementary school is doing something innovative for its students — no, silly, it’s not trying innovative methods for teaching math or getting kids excited about science. Instead, it’s inviting the Gideons into the school library and having kids line up to get their very own Bibles, which are apparently in such short supply in Georgia that volunteers are needed to hand them out in public schools. But hey, at least they’re promoting literacy by taking the kids to the library, maybe. Read more on Nice Georgia Elementary School Giving All Its Children The Gift Of Jesus, Hooray!…
  Ban Women As 'Attractive Nuisances' Too

Georgia Town Bans Abortions Because They’re, Like, So Much Drama

Just in case you were having trouble staying wide awake all night
The town council of Rossville, Georgia, has taken decisive action to make sure that no pregnant sluts go and ‘bort their babbies in town unless they have a darn good reason, like a handwritten note from Jesus. In a unanimous vote Monday, the council banned any abortion clinics within city limits, although out of the goodness of their hearts they will still allow women to access their constitutional rights under very limited circumstances: Read more on Georgia Town Bans Abortions Because They’re, Like, So Much Drama…
  Son of a Glitch

Connecticut Unable To Get An Election This Morning

Whoops! (yes, it's shopped. Connecticut is not tropical. Yet.)
Update: new development; see end of post. Elections never run flawlessly, and it’s not unusual — and no, not an indication of wholesale fraud — to hear of voting machine glitches and snags. We’re quite willing to accept that there’s nothing nefarious going on when one or two touch screen machines screw up, though that’s also a good argument for good old optical-scan ballots, too. And then there’s more unfortunate applications of Murphy’s Law on Election Day, like how the Georgia secretary of state’s “find your polling place” website crashed this morning. Again, that seems like a glitch, not frauding, although that one looks a lot hinkier in the context of the state maybe losing tens of thousands of new registration applications. Read more on Connecticut Unable To Get An Election This Morning…
  dirty old men

Congrats GOP Septuagenarian, You Are In Jail For Trying To Rape A Lady On Skype!

Olds. They are always burning up your phone like “how do I get to the Wonkette.com?” and “what’s a url?” and “oh no I accidentally attempted to rape a young lady while the Skype was skypeing and the police saw the Skype and now I am IN JAIL!” Learn some computer stuff, olds! Don’t go to JAIL! Read more on Congrats GOP Septuagenarian, You Are In Jail For Trying To Rape A Lady On Skype!…
  'Invisible Man' Wasn't An Instruction Book

We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote

Or maybe you just don't exist. Can you prove it?
Nothing like a little week-before-the-election chaos. In Georgia, where activists say that some 40,000 newly registered voters’ names do not yet appear on the state’s database, a judge denied a petition Tuesday requesting that the secretary of state take immediate action to process those missing voters. Judge Christopher Brasher of the Fulton County Superior Court ruled against a claim by the Lawyers’ Committee for Civil Rights, which said that tens of thousands of properly submitted registrations had not been processed. Brasher’s reasoning appears to be that there simply aren’t any missing voters, because Georgia’s attorney general says that the state and counties have processed all the applications they received. Why should the state go out of its way for applications that it’s quite certain don’t exist anyway? Those tens of thousands of Georgians who say they submitted their paperwork but haven’t received registration cards are probably just attention-seekers, we bet. Here are some, seeking attention right now: Read more on We Are Sure Georgia Has A Very Good Reason For Not Letting All Those Black People Vote…
  Here have some news n stuff

Only Men Are Allowed To Use Daddy’s Name To Run For Office, Duh

He got there all on his own
Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman. Actually, it’s hard most of the time — thanks, MEN — but it’s especially hard if you’re a woman running for office: Last week, a statewide official in Georgia accused Democratic Senate candidate Michelle Nunn of cashing in on her father’s reserve of political goodwill during her campaign. This is true, but she’s definitely not alone. Sen. Mark Pryor (D-Ark.), Sen. Mark Begich (D-Alaska) and Kentucky Senate candidate Alison Lundergan Grimes (D) also happen to have famous political dads and have run ads featuring their parents. They have mentioned their parents at events. In fact, no one voting this year could ever forget the connection. Read more on Only Men Are Allowed To Use Daddy’s Name To Run For Office, Duh…
  Just Look At All The Puppies He *Didn't* Kick

Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low.

Michelle Nunn has a pretty good 'You gotta be freakin kidding me' face
David Perdue would really like to be Georgia’s next U.S. Senator, but it seems he has a few problems with the ladies, as in he is polling really badly with them, compared to opponent Michelle Nunn. For a state with no Democrats in statewide offices, Georgia is very, very close to sending Nunn to the Senate, and Perdue didn’t exactly close the gender gap with his performance in Sunday’s debate with Nunn. You see, while Perdue was CEO of discount chain store Dollar General, the company was sued for discrimination by a couple thousand women who worked in management positions at the company. But come on, said Perdue at the debate, that’s all in the past, and besides, is “2000” really that many women suing for discrimination? Heck, just think of all the employees who weren’t managers or women, or women managers that didn’t sue! Read more on Only 2000 Women Sued Georgia GOP Senate Candidate For Discrimination. Seems Low….
  your rock and roll fantasy

Screw The Polls, Here’s How Every Democratic Senate Challenger Is Gonna Win

She's got all the goodies
We have told you a bunch of made up reasons why every single endangered incumbent Senate Democratic is actually going to win and Nate Silver can go suck a poll of likely voters. Now let’s examine the Dem candidates for open seats and those challenging vulnerable Republican incumbents. Can we use our powers of wishful thinking and nonsense to conjure an alternate reality in which they, too, will all prevail? We can! Read more on Screw The Polls, Here’s How Every Democratic Senate Challenger Is Gonna Win…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Rachel’s Pantheon Of Heroes (Video)

maybe we do need another hero now and then
Rachel Maddow noted Thursday night, “Sometimes the news gods decide that today’s news will have a theme. And the news gods decided that for today, the theme is personal bravery.” So in two segments, she brings us stories of people who stick their necks out for the sake of doing the right thing. Read more on Morning Maddow: Rachel’s Pantheon Of Heroes (Video)…
  acceptable losses

Cops Won’t Be Charged For Grenading Baby’s Face Off Because Stuff Happens, You Know?

A bit of disfiguring trauma is the price of a free society
Back in May, we mentioned the Georgia case where cops serving a “no knock” warrant broke into a house and threw a stun grenade into the front room — and into a playpen where a 19-month-old baby was sleeping. The grenade severely burned the baby, detaching his nose from his face and leaving his mouth disfigured. The incident report from the Habersham Sheriff’s Office said that the SWAT team had been told to expect a whole bunch of weapons and drugs and armed resistance; instead, they found no guns or drugs in the home, just a family that had recently moved from Wisconsin and was all living in one room of a relative’s house. The suspect named in the warrant, Wanis Thonetheva, didn’t even live at the house the cops burst into; he was a nephew of the residents and “was arrested later that day without incident and charged only with possession of methamphetamine.” Read more on Cops Won’t Be Charged For Grenading Baby’s Face Off Because Stuff Happens, You Know?…
  don't call it a comeback

Scott Walker Will Fight For Wisconsin’s Right To Collect Poor People’s Pee

Scott Walker, locked in a tight race for his second term as governor of Wisconsin, wants his constituents to know he’s committed to their conservative Midwestern values. It’s all right there in his campaign’s new manifesto, “Continuing Wisconsin’s Comeback”: If you give him four more years, he promises to cut property taxes, celebrate deer hunting heritage, supervise manly red-hot iron pours, and relentlessly pursue the urine of the state’s unemployed. Read more on Scott Walker Will Fight For Wisconsin’s Right To Collect Poor People’s Pee…
  It's Definitely Not About Race

Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People

Frank Millar's nightmare
Republican Georgia state Sen. Fran Millar knows what elections are about. Elections are about winning. They are NOT, however, about letting just anybody vote, especially if they comprise the majority in a particular part of Atlanta, if you get his drift. Actually you don’t need to get his drift, because he just says it openly: Millar has vowed to end early voting at a DeKalb County polling place that simply has too many blacks in the neighborhood. Read more on Georgia Republican Will Save Democracy From Black People…
  Racism is over part eleventy billion

Georgia Republican Very Disappointed President Obama Has Not Ended Racism

Of all the embarrassing American totems we may have exported to Australia (Budweiser, country music, Keanu Reeves), could any of them be more embarrassing than an old white Republican from Georgia talking about the state of race relations in our country? And yet somehow we allowed this to happen just the other day. America! Not only have we failed black people in so many ways, we’ve even failed at sending out emissaries to talk about the plight of black people. Read more on Georgia Republican Very Disappointed President Obama Has Not Ended Racism…
  Stop Resisting! Stop Resisting!

Who Wants To Watch This Nice Journalist Lady ‘Resist Arrest,’ With Her Face?

It is a good thing the nice citizen journalist lady getting roughed up by this porcine sheriff fellow at a Gov. Nathan Deal event in Georgia is white, or we are guessing that the whole time she “resisted arrest” (asked for his name and to see his badge), she was probably actually going for his gun. Or maybe “charging like a bull.” It’s an epidemic these days! Read more on Who Wants To Watch This Nice Journalist Lady ‘Resist Arrest,’ With Her Face?…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Paul Ryan Has A ‘Book,’ Bald Eagle Poop Isn’t Purple, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Good morning, everything is terrible again. Hooray, Rep. Paul Ryan (R-His Butt) has a new book out, called How I Learned To Stop Caring What Jesus Actually Had To Say Because I Sure Do Hate The Poors, or whatever he’s calling it, who cares? Courtesy of The Agenda Project Action Fund, please enjoy the original book cover above. You’re welcome. Read more on Paul Ryan Has A ‘Book,’ Bald Eagle Poop Isn’t Purple, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…