Tag Archives: georgetown

  late night shots

YOUR LATE NIGHT SHOTS PARTY WEEKEND SCHED, BRO: Pro-laxin’, bro. “LNS will once again be taking its chartered bus out to Bayhawks Stadium for this Saturday’s pro lacrosse matchup. The day starts at Rugby at 4, the luxury party bus leaves 5:45, faceoff is at 7, and all LNS ticket holders get free beer for the entire game. The nightcap post party will be held at Smith Point in Georgetown. We have spots for about 18 more washed-up ex-lacrosse players (male or female) who enjoy drinking cans of Bud Light while listening to Christopher Cross, Go West, Billy Idol and AC/DC.” But what about the hipster chicks and their “lithe vegan bodies,” dood? Who cares about those sluts, bro. Get your lax tix here, dood. [LNS Weekly] Read more on …
 

Ha Ha! Doug Feith Loses Professor Job At Georgetown

Former Defense Department torture-lover and the fucking stupidest person on the face of the earth, Douglas Feith, has lost his pwecious teaching position at the prestigious Catholic university, Georgetown. What a fucking loser! Everyone point at the pathetic fucking loser and laugh, ha ha, just like that! The best part of the story is this college reporter’s opening sentence: “Douglas Feith (LAW ’78) may not have devised an exit strategy for the U.S. occupation of Iraq, but according to the former Bush administration official, a group of Georgetown professors apparently had no trouble coming up with an exit strategy for him.” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that Feith — what a Dingleberry McDingus! [The Hoya] Read more on Ha Ha! Doug Feith Loses Professor Job At Georgetown…
 

‘Rat Swarm’ Rumors Cripple Washington

Fears of a massive rat & roach spring swarm have crippled much of the District this evening as horrified office workers and other war profiteers watch major thoroughfares blocked off by mounted police while 20-foot-tall “rat proofing” concrete barriers are raised from Georgetown to Foggy Bottom. Law enforcement officials are keeping quiet about the real reasons for the horror stampede, and many locals fear for their lives. What the living hell is going on? Read more on ‘Rat Swarm’ Rumors Cripple Washington…
 

ANNUAL ‘RUNNING OF THE RATS’ SNARLS GEORGETOWN: Tipster “Lauren” writes “Apparently Georgetown’s M St is fully barricaded, and they aren’t letting anyone out of stores or restaurants. You might want to check it out.” Wonkette operatives are ordered to investigate the spring rat stampede and report back post haste. Read more on …
 

Mark Penn Ruins Georgetown

It turns out that Mark Penn, the lardbot numbers swami who singlehandedly sank Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, can multitask by ruining several things at once. He recently turned his focus to the swank DC neighborhood of Georgetown, which he is ruining through a campaign of endless construction. Read more on Mark Penn Ruins Georgetown…
 

Kitty Kelley Krazier Than We Thought

Kitty Kelley’s wrath knows no bounds! She got pissed because her neighbor in Georgetown, Candyce Martin, undertook a big (messy, noisy) renovation this summer and even though the renovation is actually over, Kitty’s still feeling, um, catty. So she snuck next door under the cover of night and fucked up Candyce’s landscaping. Mature, right? Also, kinda stupid because Candyce had installed some security cameras. The whole thing’s reportedly on tape on Candyce’s lawyer’s office, in case Kitty goes on the prowl again. [Yeas & Nays] Read more on Kitty Kelley Krazier Than We Thought…
 

Remember Philip Cooney? Oil lobbyist who resigned from the Bush administration (to work for Exxon) after it was revealed he was editing all the US Climate Change reports to say global warming was made-up? Well, his son was just arrested for gay-bashing in Georgetown. Thanks to Facebook! [
 

The Most Annoying Party Promoter in DC

Considering that party promotion is already one of the most annoying professions in the world, it takes more than a little something extra to get noticed. It takes levels of un-self-conscious douchery that most people can’t even dream of. Back in June a friend forwarded me an email from a a dude she’d never heard of before inviting her to party that sounded like the worst thing either of us had ever heard of. Kick off the 1st Official Night of Summer 2007! Mojito’s & Ketel One Citroen Specials all night! Music by DJ Alex Funk playing 80’s + Current Hits. No Cover Charge – Resort Attire = Seersucker, Topsiders, Pearls, Madras, Popped Collars, Red Pants and Sundresses. Read more on The Most Annoying Party Promoter in DC…
 

Another NASA Vehicle Having Trouble Landing

Still feeling slightly patriotic after the new & improved one-day July 4 weekend? Maybe you would like to help the world’s least-competent space agency figure out where to land one of its huge NASA vehicles. This was posted an hour ago in the Washington DC travel forum on Trip Advisor: Read more on Another NASA Vehicle Having Trouble Landing…
 

There Goes Old Georgetown

* Why a hammer might be needed for a wine refrigerator remains one of the great mysteries of humankind. [DC Foodies] * Too true: “Every once in a while, I have to go into Georgetown on a weekend to remind myself why I don’t do it often.” [DC Mr. Anthrope] * Glad to know the educational system in this country works — thanks, No Child Left Behind! [Eavesdrop DC] * Pizza in D.C.? Who knew that existed? [Gridskipper] * “In fact, climate change coverage has become so intense and ubiquitous in popular culture that it is radiating back into the news division of at least one major broadcast network.” [Capital Weather] Read more on There Goes Old Georgetown…
 

Hero Congressman Saves Own Wallet

There’s a lot we just have to accept on hearsay in this story. For example: is this “Relinghuysen” guy actually a Congressman? Is that even a real name? We don’t know, and there’s simply no way of finding out. Read more on Hero Congressman Saves Own Wallet…
 

CIRCULAMITY IN G’TOWN

A rogue Circulator bus crashed into a Georgetown office building earlier today, causing one injury and the hilarious image you see to the right. Yet more proof that if God had intended sensible people to go to Georgetown, he would’ve put a Metro stop there. And filled it with fewer douchebags. Read more on CIRCULAMITY IN G’TOWN…
 

Metro Section: Competition, Looting and Romance

* Baristas from Murky Coffee and Tryst took 1st and 4th in some sort of Mid-Atlantic/Northeast contest. [DCist] * You know that valet bike parking we mentioned in To Do? Well, WABA needs volunteers. [WABA] * “There are two visions for our public schools emerging now in the District — two camps: One is saying, ‘Mayor, Order Those Schools To Be Good!’ The other is saying, ‘Mayor, It Takes a Village, Not a King.’ Though you wouldn’t know it by reading the Washington Post, more and more people are joining the second camp and are speaking out against the mayor’s proposal to take the public schools from the public.” [Sam Smith’s City Desk] * “So don’t waste this incredible opportunity, D.C. If Georgetown wins tomorrow, and especially Monday, don’t hold back. Flood the streets. Overturn some cars. Light a few fires. Those really nice stores along M Street, with their large windows? Perfect for looting.” [The DC Universe] * Second-date ideas, including Tallula which has a “prix fixe wine and dinner tasting menu. It’s five courses of perfect pairings and for only about $75 per person, including tip …. The wine manager comes to the table to introduce the wine before each course and you get a little sheet of paper to jot down notes about the wines. Oh, and they tailor it for beginners, intermediate, and advanced.” [The DC Concierge] Read more on Metro Section: Competition, Looting and Romance…
 

Rats Seize G-Town Burger Hut From Redskins’ Owner

Tom Cruise-enabling Redskins’ owner Dan Snyder announced he was buying the burger chain Johnny Rockets last month, but massive rats at the Georgetown location have apparently revolted against the purchase. The filthy rodents of unusual size have again taken over the kitchen, gnawing burger buns and hanging out under the food-prep tables. DC health officials had no choice but to cede the restaurant to the vermin. Read more on Rats Seize G-Town Burger Hut From Redskins’ Owner…
 

Wonkette’s Week in Review: Mr. Blabby Blab

* Please send photos and updates when tens of thousands of earnest yuppies descend on the Mall for Saturday’s Tibetan Danny Glover Freedom Concert. We’ll be at Busch Gardens along with every other journalist in Washington. * The Politico was fathered this week by the Allbrittons. The media failures are also the proud owners of the $28 million Georgetown crime scene we’ve been investigating. Coincidence? * BARACK HUSSEIN OSAMA TOSSES BIN LADEN AT AMERICA. * Hillary Cunton consummated her trail of tears. Soon after, she got busted for paying right-wing blogs not to run her campaign ads. * “So I say to John Kerry, I love you John Kerry. And I’m so sorry that things didn’t work out for our country, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that I will always care about you greatly and remember the times we’ve spent together.” * In an attempt to tidy up before killing himself, David Bradley makes Andrew Sullivan Senior Editor of The Atlantic: “I’ve spent my adult years believing that life is a sine curve of inevitable highs following inevitable lows. What is new to me, in this second career, is that the highs are much higher in journalism and the lows much lower. I had not understood, before, how wide could be the band of emotions.” * Michele Bachmann isn’t afraid to lose control, uses farm hands to offer the President a little encouragement. The DumpBachman blog says “Good-bye Katherine Harris, Hello Michelle Bachmann.” But we’ll never turn our backs on Kitty. She removed her invisibility cloak to to hand out business cards to anyone who didn’t wince at her at the SOTU. * Like Alberto Gonzales, we weren’t allowed to attend the big event. So we liveblogged the shit out of the blabby blab. And the blabby blab blab response. Believe you us, the whole affair was like looking in a drawer full of diamonds and we’re still hungover. Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review: Mr. Blabby Blab…
 

SMITH POINT BURNS; LNS BLAMES WONKETTE

Beloved capitool bar Smith Point is on fire! DCFD is on the scene! Late Night Shots people are blaming, obviously, this website! Here are some comments: * its def. on fire and DCFD is on the scene… * I AM WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW. IS SP OKAY? CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GO STAND OUTSIDE AND GIVE UPDATES. * I totally left my gf passed out in there. Shit, I hope she’s ok, or dead. I don’t really want to have to date her if she’s covered in burns or shit. Plus I could use that $500 a week I give her for Brutini loafers and ‘skiing’ * that bitch wonkette burned it down. or those two gay dudes that run it now. i’d call them what they are but i dont want to lose my job on grey’s anatomy. Read more on SMITH POINT BURNS; LNS BLAMES WONKETTE…
 

$28 Million Georgetown Murder Scene Bought by Aspiring Media Mogul, Natch

Remember the 31st and Q mansion we mentioned last week? The most expensive home ever bought in Washington? The one where an aspiring British politician had his throat slit in the driveway last July? Reliable Source revealed the buyers yesterday: Robert and Elena Allbritton! Come learn who they are with us, after the jump. Read more on $28 Million Georgetown Murder Scene Bought by Aspiring Media Mogul, Natch…
 

Buy Your Own $28 Million Georgetown Murder Scene

Developer Herb Miller’s 1.8-acre compound at 31st and Q streets last made the news in July, when a young British Jew was savagely murdered in the driveway by a gang that also tried to rape his companion, Miller’s babysitter who lived in the mansion’s guest apartment. Read more on Buy Your Own $28 Million Georgetown Murder Scene…
 

Ex-Marine Gourmet Grocer Exec Seeks Flag-Hating Bandit

Let no-one say Dean & DeLuca is run by a bunch of communist America haters. Wonkette operative “Alex” wrote to corporate to complain about the bizarre upside-down half-mast U.S. flag the Georgetown market was sporting on the Day After Veterans Day. Read more on Ex-Marine Gourmet Grocer Exec Seeks Flag-Hating Bandit…
 

Gourmet Grocer Signals S.O.S.

Above: the Georgetown Dean and Deluca, spotted yesterday by a Wonkette Operative, flies the flag at half-mast for the Veterans and upside down for the panicked Gtown Republican Hill Staffers desperately sending their resumes to lobbying organizations, think tanks, and consulting firms. Read more on Gourmet Grocer Signals S.O.S….
 

Gossip Roundup: Boehner’s Hardcore

Reliable Source: G-town restaurant Nathan’s is closing. Vernon Jordon inconsolable, hotdog-less. [WP] Yeas and Nays: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and Asian Baby are buying a home in Northern Virginia, to be closer to their new benefactor, Redskins owner Dan Snyder… Harvard alums publish first magazine ever to beat off Barack Obama for no reason but not call him a “hottie”… John Boehner says he totally would’ve beat Mark Foely’s ass. Seriously. Just let him try that shit again. If his girl wasn’t here, man… [Examiner] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Boehner’s Hardcore…
 

Kay Graham’s All-White Salons: Too Hot for Outlook

Andrew Stephen had an interesting, lengthy piece in the Sunday Washington Post about Georgetown’s long road from slave port to “all-white enclave.” It was so interesting, in fact, that he published it twice — in yesterday’s Post, and in the July 10 issue of his own magazine, the New Statesman. Read more on Kay Graham’s All-White Salons: Too Hot for Outlook…