A fancy Georgetown University student has S.O.S.ed about a new plague in the school’s rich fat cat neighborhood, far beyond the reach of the Metro: “A message from officials at Georgetown now confirms that the campus is just riddled with sickness. We’re all infected with norovirus, a flu thing that is caused by ‘fecal contamination’ and is highly contagious!” Oh well how does John McCain feel now about his insult to Georgetown yesterday hmm? Does he think it’s funny that this could spread from campus and GEORGE WILL COULD DIE FROM THE AIDS CANCER AT A COCKTAIL PARTY? MORE »

Well. Here’s a trailer for some sort of secret potential series about rich, preppy, well-connected young people in Washington. Aside from the YouTube title — “DC PREP Trailer for Secret Television Series Coming Soon!” — the Internet is not telling us much more. MORE »

YOUR LATE NIGHT SHOTS PARTY WEEKEND SCHED, BRO: Pro-laxin’, bro. “LNS will once again be taking its chartered bus out to Bayhawks Stadium for this Saturday’s pro lacrosse matchup. The day starts at Rugby at 4, the luxury party bus leaves 5:45, faceoff is at 7, and all LNS ticket holders get free beer for the entire game. The nightcap post party will be held at Smith Point in Georgetown. We have spots for about 18 more washed-up ex-lacrosse players (male or female) who enjoy drinking cans of Bud Light while listening to Christopher Cross, Go West, Billy Idol and AC/DC.” But what about the hipster chicks and their “lithe vegan bodies,” dood? Who cares about those sluts, bro. Get your lax tix here, dood. [LNS Weekly]

Former Defense Department torture-lover and the fucking stupidest person on the face of the earth, Douglas Feith, has lost his pwecious teaching position at the prestigious Catholic university, Georgetown. What a fucking loser! Everyone point at the pathetic fucking loser and laugh, ha ha, just like that! The best part of the story is this college reporter’s opening sentence: “Douglas Feith (LAW ‘78) may not have devised an exit strategy for the U.S. occupation of Iraq, but according to the former Bush administration official, a group of Georgetown professors apparently had no trouble coming up with an exit strategy for him.” Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, that Feith — what a Dingleberry McDingus! [The Hoya]

Fears of a massive rat & roach spring swarm have crippled much of the District this evening as horrified office workers and other war profiteers watch major thoroughfares blocked off by mounted police while 20-foot-tall “rat proofing” concrete barriers are raised from Georgetown to Foggy Bottom. Law enforcement officials are keeping quiet about the real reasons for the horror stampede, and many locals fear for their lives. What the living hell is going on? MORE »

ANNUAL ‘RUNNING OF THE RATS’ SNARLS GEORGETOWN: Tipster “Lauren” writes “Apparently Georgetown’s M St is fully barricaded, and they aren’t letting anyone out of stores or restaurants. You might want to check it out.” Wonkette operatives are ordered to investigate the spring rat stampede and report back post haste.

It turns out that Mark Penn, the lardbot numbers swami who singlehandedly sank Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign, can multitask by ruining several things at once. He recently turned his focus to the swank DC neighborhood of Georgetown, which he is ruining through a campaign of endless construction. MORE »

Kitty Kelley’s wrath knows no bounds! She got pissed because her neighbor in Georgetown, Candyce Martin, undertook a big (messy, noisy) renovation this summer and even though the renovation is actually over, Kitty’s still feeling, um, catty. So she snuck next door under the cover of night and fucked up Candyce’s landscaping. Mature, right? Also, kinda stupid because Candyce had installed some security cameras. The whole thing’s reportedly on tape on Candyce’s lawyer’s office, in case Kitty goes on the prowl again. [Yeas & Nays]

Remember Philip Cooney? Oil lobbyist who resigned from the Bush administration (to work for Exxon) after it was revealed he was editing all the US Climate Change reports to say global warming was made-up? Well, his son was just arrested for gay-bashing in Georgetown. Thanks to Facebook! [NBC4, Vox Populi]

Considering that party promotion is already one of the most annoying professions in the world, it takes more than a little something extra to get noticed. It takes levels of un-self-conscious douchery that most people can’t even dream of. Back in June a friend forwarded me an email from a a dude she’d never heard of before inviting her to party that sounded like the worst thing either of us had ever heard of.

Kick off the 1st Official Night of Summer 2007! Mojito’s & Ketel One Citroen Specials all night! Music by DJ Alex Funk playing 80’s + Current Hits. No Cover Charge - Resort Attire = Seersucker, Topsiders, Pearls, Madras, Popped Collars, Red Pants and Sundresses.

MORE »

Still feeling slightly patriotic after the new & improved one-day July 4 weekend? Maybe you would like to help the world’s least-competent space agency figure out where to land one of its huge NASA vehicles. This was posted an hour ago in the Washington DC travel forum on Trip Advisor: MORE »