Tag: georgetown

Where Will Ivanka Trump Sleep In The White House? OH NO, POLITICO, DON’T FIRE US FOR ASKING!

Sounds like Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner are going to be our new First Lady!

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The return of Benghazi Mom, a great wall of taco trucks, & the flabby arm of the law! Here's your daily news brief!
weird things in this scene: 1. Applejack with out her hat 2. Applejack reading 3. Applejack at a spa 4. Doktor Zoom using an applejack pic in the first place

Wonkagenda: Thursday, September 1, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
Oh, it's this asshole again

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Takin’ All The Federal Welfare Monies, Not Giving It To Poor Kids. Huh!

Horrible bile monster and Maine Gov. Paul LePage hates poor people, but keeps getting federal funds intended to help them. What to do, what to do...?
Guys, shut up, we know this did not happen in the Dead Poets Society movie film.

Looks Like Things Got Pretty Rapey At Tucker Carlson’s Nice Christian Prep School

Hey Wonkerinos, sorry to be bringing you all these stories about rape and sexual abuse on an otherwise pleasant Thursday, but here's a thing: Rhode Island State Police are investigating allegations of sexual abuse of more than two dozen students...

Sandra Fluke To Slut Up Your Congress. Be Careful Out There, Congressmen.

Hey ladies. How you doing? With your uncontrolled libidos, we bet you are slutting it up all over the place, so thank the Spirit in the Sky that you can get free government slut pills so you can be...

Benevolent God Floods Georgetown

Storms this weekend raged through the mid-Atlantic, and the Act of God (like another Act of God, the U.S. Constitution) left dozens dead. Still, there was a reason the Lord did this: to rid the world of Georgetown once...

Georgetown U. Finds Piece Of Rope, Assumes Lynching Racist Is On Loose

Georgetown University employees found a piece of rope in the utility tunnels under campus this week, and everyone knows what you think when you see a piece of rope: Somebody must have been using it as a noose to...

Get Your 9/11 On, DC Style!

Thursday, September 9: To all our Jewish Friends, a Happy New Year (or "Rosh Hashanah")!  One celebrates by eating apples and honey, but for a more new traditional new years-y celebration, why not drink vodka? From 6-7PM on Thursday,...

The Headfountain: Ayn Rand In the 21st Century

The third installment of Wonkette's Ayn Rand journalism comic is here! Vomit along with Ayn, by catching up with our first and second installments ... only then will you be prepared for Chapter III. Next Comic

New Wonkette Writer Jack Stuef And Senator-Elect-to-Be Alvin Greene: Hopey Change You Can Believe In

If you have been checking the authors of posts on your Wonkette this week -- and you have, because writers know that everybody pays a lot of attention to bylines -- you will have noticed there is a new...

Forgotten DC Frat-Bar Group Posts Failed Reality Show To Website

It is impossible to remember this now, but a couple of years ago DC was full of douche Republican youngsters with popped collars and confederate-flag bras who congregated at a Georgetown bar to tell jokes about coloreds. And, for...

Georgetown Law Students Confused By Thought Experiment, Report Pretend John Roberts’ Retirement To Hollywood Gossip Website

So why did that dopey "Radar Online" website claim for a half-hour today that John Roberts was quitting the Supreme Court? Some first-year law student half heard the professor say something about John Roberts retiring for "health reasons," didn't...

Will Anyone Help These Poor Georgetown Students Celebrate Our Founding Fathers?

The young princes of George Town College are furious that the school has decided to cancel their upcoming Presidents' Day holiday, to make up some of the nine-years-worth of snow days they've had recently. Thousands of members have signed...

GEORGETOWN SOPHOMORE LOOKING FOR ASSISTANT: This sophomore also works in the financial services industry! So of course: "PA example tasks -Organize closet -make bed -Drop off / pick up dry cleaning -Drop me off / pick me up from...

Barack Obama Systematically Working To Destroy Catholicism, At Colleges

It was pretty useless and unnecessary for Barack Obama to go out of his way to give a major economics speech at one of Georgetown's most haunting, gilded Jesus chambers on Tuesday and request that all symbols there be...