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Tag: george will

Watch where you point that thing, bub

Alex Jones Auditions To Be Trump’s White House Press Secretary With Very Sane Revolution Rant

Alex Jones is kind of a sore winner. After his boy Donald Trump won the Indiana primary Tuesday night and Ted Cruz dropped out of the campaign, Jones posted a rambling shouty video -- and we mean rambling, even...
Shed a tear for Denny

Won’t Someone PLEASE Think Of Poor Blackmailed Maybe Child Molester Denny Hastert?

We had to know this was coming. Because indicted former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert is not merely accused of illegally withdrawing $1.7 million in hush money cash, and lying to the FBI about it, all to keep...
Suck it, people concerned that widening income inequality could lead to economic disruptions and social upheaval!

George Will: Income Inequality Is Good So Poors Should Shut Up

A cry rang throughout the home of bowtied wax statue George Will, and that cry was “Mother! Father got into the cooking sherry again! He’s locked in his study gibbering like a baboon! Bring me a butterfly net and...

23 Times Fox News Sh*t The Bed, You Are Welcome

So you know how Fox News, America’s No. 1 News Source for Your Racist Uncle, got into that little dustup with Le Gay Paree over, you know, how France and England had created a bunch of Muslims-only Shariah paradises...

2014: The Year All Rape Ended Forever Because It Never Existed Obviously

In the early days of 2014, the world was a simpler, happier place. Bill Cosby was still a kindly, grandfatherly funnyman and not a horrible monster rapist, and we all enjoyed playfully teasing him about his sweaters and Jell-O...
Your lips are saying no but he's saying yes

Conservative Nutjob Dennis Prager Sexually Assaults His Wife, So What’s The Big Deal?

Damn those feminists and their lies about "rape" and "sexual assault" and the "war on women" and other "things" Democrats say just to get people to vote for them. Because we all know that "hey, did you know rape...
Lucky duckies

George Will Discovers New Rape Category

George Will advanced the frontiers of Republican classifications of rape during a Wednesday appearance at Miami University, finding a whole new kind of rape that can be added to Legitimate Rape, God Gave You the Precious Gift of a...
He's just a regular super rich guy who's a total dick

Did Bazillionaire Bruce Rauner Bully A Reporter Out Of His Job? Yes. Yes, He Did.

Bruce Rauner, the Republican candidate for Illinois governor, is just a regular guy with a van. Oh, and a $100,000 wine club membership. And some Cayman Islands cash. And a charming disposition, by which we mean he allegedly said...
Hi, Charlie! We love you, Charlie!

Charlie P. Pierce, Esq., Misses The George Will Who Didn’t Suck

Conservative intellectual thought leader George Will made an ass of himself on Fox News Sunday this week, claiming "Some doctors say Ebola can be transmitted through the air by 'a sneeze or some cough.'" The alleged source of that...
In his natural habitat

George Will Wishes Government Would Just Leave Rapists Alone Already, Sheesh

You know who is The Worst? (For right now, anyway; as we type, some wingnut doucheweasel is trying his or her most bestest to win that coveted title.) George Will. George "Oh, I am so droll" Will. And he...

George Will Trolls Rape Victims, Has Probably Never Been Raped

Oh wow, George Will has committed his thoughts to paper again and they are very special. He says that colleges and the White House have made being a sexual assault victim a "coveted status." He says it is "preposterous"...

George Will Can’t Stop Fapping Over His Fantasy That Obamacare Is Illegal

This week the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals will hear arguments in the case of Sissel v. Department of Health and Human Services, yet another of the innumerable legal challenges to the Affordable Care Act that conservatives will be...

George Will Explains How Single Moms Make Martin Luther King Jr. Cry

Windsor-knotted colostomy bag George Will took the occasion of the upcoming 50th anniversary of the March on Washington For Jobs and Freedom to explain that there's a very simple reason that there's an economic disparity between whites and blacks:...

George Will Knows Who To Blame For Detroit Bankruptcy, And It Is ‘Single Moms’ Of Course

Walking Ambien tablet George Will has a creative explanation for Detroit's bankruptcy: It's not about factories closing or jobs moving overseas or a declining tax base or anything to do with economics, really. Detroit is a basket case because...

George Will: As We See From Baseball, Black Dudes Have It Made

George Will, the Washington Post's moderately somnolent Guy Who Watches Baseball And Reads Thesauruses, has decided that the story of Frank Robinson is the perfect one to explain the presidential election. Obama’s administration is in shambles, yet he is prospering...

Fat Cat Gov’t Scientists Suggest It’s Really Hot Outside All The Time

Washington, DC is back down to 85 degrees again today -- after two weeks of terrifyingly scorching volcano hell heat worse than anything that even the space between Chris Christie's thighs have ever encountered, of course. But still: It's...