May 20, 2013
Washington, DC is back down to 85 degrees again today — after two weeks of terrifyingly scorching volcano hell heat worse than anything that even the space between Chris Christie’s thighs have ever encountered, of course. But still: It’s 85 now. Al Gore is back to being fat and gay again, by all reasonable estimates. [...]
It was recently reported that Newt Gingrich and Fox News had a tiff. Newt likes attention and Fox had plenty to give, but not to Newt. Fox met a new man. His name is Mitt. He was everything Newt couldn’t be. Newt tried to get Fox to return by opening up his heart and writing [...]
2012 DILDO NEWS: “The most recent vibrator is Mike Huckabee,” reports George Will. George Will will not allow Republicans who talk about Barack Obama’s Kenyan birth to be the next president of the United States. That is uncouth. So, like a sporting gentleman, he will refer to them as dildos until they go away.
George Will likes politics, but he does not like politics when everyone is not wearing a top hat and legislators arrive to the Capitol by auto-mobile instead of Negro-drawn carriage. “Between Jefferson and Woodrow Wilson, no one delivered this in person. They sent their report to Congress in writing. But now we’ve turned this into [...]
THE WEEKEND’S MOST SHOCKING NEWS: From this George Will column in which he praises Michele Bachmann “George Will style” (huffs gently in approval): “When [Bachmann] was a teenager in Anoka, Minn., she was a nanny for a young girl named Gretchen Carlson. Today, Carlson, a Stanford honors graduate who studied at Oxford, is a host [...]
George Will is such a hot potato right now! BUT A SPINELESS POTATO? He received so much publicity for his other column a few days ago — when he “stunned” Washington by “going Galt” and calling for an end to the millenia-old Afghanistan war, making him the first very serious important pundit to do so, [...]
Politico fiend Mike Allen is going insane about an upcoming piece from the Washington Post‘s very very serious conservative columnist George Will, in which he will offer the “startling recommendation” that maybe our government should end that other Middle East war it started ten million years ago. Choose your own reaction! (1) Who cares what [...]
So we did a midsummer slow news day’s Wonk’d yesterday and what do you know, another billion Wonk’d sightings arrived in out Tips Box this morning. It’s like you people can be easily manipulated by suggestion. “Here are some Wonkette readers sending us Wonk’d items … this means you must do the same, reader.” And [...]
George Will is dying right now. The president is sitting on a pile of trash, basically. And is the fellow on the left wearing dungarees and flip flops? Can we get a column on flip flops, George Will? Close those legs, Obama. [Pete Souza/White House]
Think respected conservative intellectual George “Dungaree” Will’s biweekly phlegm-hocks for the Washington Post are bad, but maybe not quite Richard-Cohen-bad? Well they are, and so are his Newsweek columns! Maybe. His most recent one tackles Transportation Reform. Will chastises Republican Ray LaHood, the Transportation secretary, for “wanting” to “fix” America’s “infrastructure” problems, which is his [...]
Oh fignewtons, someone telephone the slaves at Grey Gardens, it seems a tenant has meandered through the gate during her noontime perambulations and landed on the television set! Here is Ms. Peggy Noonington on the George Stephanopoulos program alongside George Will. George Will! He must have forwarded Peggy e-mails about this torture memo business, and [...]
Regarding George Will’s anti-blue jeans column of today, the Wall Street Journal had a much funnier “denim sucks” column, by your editor’s actual relative-by-marriage Daniel Akst, three weeks ago. DO NOT CLAIM YOU DON’T READ THE WSJ, GEORGE. Dan’s column is also far less elitist than Bow-tie George’s thing, because instead of Will’s example of [...]
Ha ha George Will: “Today it is silly for Americans whose closest approximation of physical labor consists of loading their bags of clubs into golf carts to go around in public dressed for driving steers up the Chisholm Trail to the railhead in Abilene.” It’s funny because it’s sort of true! We are a nation [...]
Tuesday night, we saw George Will recoiling at the sight of two men hugging and Wonkette’s own Ken Layne asked, “Oh, George Will, what will offend your delicate sensibilities next?” And now we have our answer. The answer is two people kissing, if they are not married.
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