Thanks to PeteJayHawk for reminding us of this greatest ever sing-a-long video biography of our Founding Father, from a couple years back. Play it for your kids, or your parents, and Never Forget the Father of Your Country. Happy Presidents Day. (DO NOT TURN UP THE SPEAKERS AT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A SPECIAL KIND OF BOSS.)

It is the Presidents Day Sale Day, of course, which is why you’re not at work reading Wonkette. But experts say the federal holiday is actually to remember one of the first American presidents, George Washington. Let’s remember the good times and the bad, like when his 300 African slaves tried to kill his wife. MORE »

This week at George Washington University — Foggy Bottom’s most expensive and maybe best safety school — two members of Ron Paul’s team, the finance girl and the web guy, came to lecture the kids on why Barack Obama’s losing so hilariously in the polls. Because, ha ha, those Obama people, they just don’t get the Internets. How can you have… can you have a GRASSROOTS section on the… ha ha ha… on the OFFICIAL CANDIDATE’S WEBPAGE? Ha ha ha… that’s like… that’s not Freedom at all! Watch these two make fun of Obama’s “top-down” failure campaign after the jump! MORE »

Somewhere deep in the frozen confines of the Internet, a legion of illegal alien spambots known as “supporters of Rep. Ron Paul for president” turned their cold laser eyes towards Wonkette this weekend, “destroy” being their only directive. We’ve ripped on the ‘tards a lot recently and definitely saw this coming. But they really are kind of retarded. And spambotic. MORE »

George Clooney, the Farsi-speaking rogue federal agent who killed a Saudi prince in either real life or the movie Syriana (forget which), came to our Washingtons over the weekend to film his new movie, Burn After Reading. It’s so fun when a famous person comes to DC! All we have here usually are Joe Schmoes like the President and Congress. MORE »

In one of its two entries Friday displaying a public figure throwing the Shocker, silly Wonkette forgot to credit the single greatest news source in America — George Washington University’s Hatchet — for a photo received anonymously over the tip line. Well, fuck us! We surely deserved this “Cease and disist [sic]” letter from the Hatchet’s senior photo editor, Ben Solomon:

It has come to my attention that you have made an unauthorized use of copyrighted work of The GW Hatchet on the website www.wonkette.com . The copyrighted work is a photo of Ben Stein (the “Work”), which was published on 10/25/07. The GW Hatchet has reserved all rights in the Work. Your work clearly is copyrighted published material owned by The Hatchet…. If I have not received an affirmative response from you by November 9, 2007 indicating that you have fully complied with these requirements, The Hatchet will be required to take further action against you.

As we stew in our war room over how to respond by the all-too-soon Nov. 9 deadline, we thought we’d turn our attention to the Hatchet for a few seconds and make fun of it. MORE »

Apparently Fred Thompson’s website — Fred and I or Sanford and Fred or The Courtship of Fred Thompson’s Father or I’m With Stupid Fred –has a little section where Fred compares himself to George Washington, the father of our country and first man ever to invoke Executive Privilege. MORE »

Cheer up, Americans! You aren’t just overweight illiterate underemployed TV addicts with $25,000 in credit card bills and a house worth less than you owe — you’re also short! The shortest people in the industrialized world, in fact. MORE »

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Well, that didn’t take long. The beloved Conservapedia has already sunk to un-Americanisms and comments about the Founding Fathers owning slaves. MORE »

* President’s Day trip to Mount Vernon inspires George W. Bush to say of George Washington, “He is I, and I am him.” [NYT]
* Hillary Clinton swallows the “you go, girl” sloganeering, impresses black voters in South Carolina. [WP, NYT]
* John McCain was also in South Carolina yesterday, flip-flopping and cracking Rumsfeld jokes to the delight of morons everywhere. [AP]
* The rise and fall of Richard B. Cheney, “confrontationalist, warmonger, and happy talker.” [WP, NYT]
* The knee-slapping hilarity of “series of tubes” has subsided, leaving “series of pipes” to fill the vacuum. [WP]
* Freshman Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand works hard to prove she’s not just another MoCILF. [NYT]
* Forrest Gump, Rachel Green, James “Thunder” Early, and Malcom X write fat checks for Barack Obama. [NYT ]
* The ascendant Justice Scalia: tolerating pussy judges no more. [LAT]