State Of Texas To Finally Fade Into Obscurity
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
Ever since LBJ came to Washington, political elites and indeed all of America have been subjected to the endless dunderheaded clowning of Texans. We have been told that Shiner Bock, a homegrown version of generic piss-beer, is “awesome,” and that it looks cool to wear a tuxedo with cowboy boots and a massive belt buckle that draws attention to the wearer’s comparatively puny genitals. Finally the tyranny of Texas will come to an end because George W. Bush will soon fuck off back to Dallas or wherever he can find that won’t extradite him for War Crimes, and the rest of America will fondly look back on Texas as that place they have to fly over to get to California. [Politico]
Ever since LBJ came to Washington, political elites and indeed all of America have been subjected to the endless dunderheaded clowning of Texans. We have been told that Shiner Bock, a homegrown version of generic piss-beer, is “awesome,” and that it looks cool to wear a tuxedo with cowboy boots and a massive belt buckle that draws attention to the wearer’s comparatively puny genitals. Finally the tyranny of Texas will come to an end because George W. Bush will soon fuck off back to Dallas or wherever he can find that won’t extradite him for War Crimes, and the rest of America will fondly look back on Texas as that place they have to fly over to get to California. [Politico]
Here is a White House photo of President Bush meeting with the “Arizona State University Men’s and Women’s Track Team,” who appear to have won a big game or something in their fake little sport. Now: the hand gesture. Many tipsters might call this 
A thing that sucks about our nation’s current financial unpleasantness is that Congress wants to find solutions to it and Congress happens to suck. Other people who suck in this situation include Hank Paulson and “President” George Bush Jr. Barack Obama, too, for throwing himself into this situation that can only end in a sucky outcome. And lest we forget, the American auto industry — known by its appropriately sucky metonym, “Detroit” — sucks. So. Do we give car companies money for sucking or do we let a ton of workers in depressed areas lose their jobs and family health care plans? Oh, the wacky situations America finds itself in after ignoring massive problems for decades. 
All you people have already read 
Californians in general and San Franciscans in particular love them some Propositions: loony bits of legislation dreamed up by hippies, supported by the signatures of thousands of people who just wanted that smelly weirdo on BART with the clipboard to stop jabbering at them, and voted into being by millions of citizens without the time or patience to wade through a 200-page “voter guide” before they head off to the polls. Propositions, in other words, are the most awful political invention since Democracy. Except Proposition R, San Franciscans’ comical attempt to name a local sewage treatment plant after George W. Bush. 
An evangelist named Dr. K.A. Paul, whom the New Republic has called the most popular evangelist in the world (read: has sodomized more little boys than the others), has shockingly 