Tag Archives: george w. bush

  leave the former presidents aloooooooooone!

Mean Sen. Joni Ernst Takes Castratin’ Knife To Former Presidents’ Allowance Moneys

Oh, they look happy NOW.
Hey there, former presidents of the US and A — that would be Clinton, Carter and those two Bush brats — thanks for serving your country and all by BEING PRESIDENT OF IT, but Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Pig Spaying), and her Republican friends Marco Rubio and Mark Kirk, want to take away all the fun moneys you get for being Former Presidents. This is very mean, and you should all, in a bipartisan way, get together to tell them exactly where they ought to get fucked with whatever pig genitals Ernst removed most recently: Read more on Mean Sen. Joni Ernst Takes Castratin’ Knife To Former Presidents’ Allowance Moneys…
  conquered by the gay agenda

George W. Bush Wanted To Gay Marry Some Ladies, Because He Is A Filthy Liberal Now

He would have done the wedding but he was washing his hair.
Oh no, even former President George W. Bush has been conquered by the Gay Mafia! Way back in 2013, we reported that other former President George H.W. Bush had been an official witness for the lesbian nuptials of Bonnie Clement and Helen Thorgalsen, in Kennebunkport, Maine. At the time, we were like “Nice Time!” and also “Wow, those establishment Republicans really do not care about this issue, when they’re not having to pander to Stupids for votes.” Well NOW we find out that even George Bush The Younger was supportive of these lesbian brides, so much that he actually wanted to perform the wedding: Read more on George W. Bush Wanted To Gay Marry Some Ladies, Because He Is A Filthy Liberal Now…
  you don't say

BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War

We are so good at lies!
Everybody with two brain cells to rub together at least SUSPECTS that there was some fishy business in the run-up to the war on Iraq, what with the fact Saddam had not attacked us, no WMDs were ever found, etc. And Iraq is back in the news right now, mostly because Jeb Bush, brother of brush-clearing, flightsuit-wearing George W. Bush, has been stepping all over his own dick for a week, trying to explain how the Iraq war wasn’t a mistake, except that it was, NO YOU SHUT UP, etc. Marco Rubio got in on the action too, dancing a jaunty jig on his own dick, because Questions Is Tough. Read more on BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War…
  Louie Louie...A Me Gotta Goh-Mert

Congressdolt Louie Gohmert: Iraq War Was A Mistake Because Obama Has Boner For Our Enemies

Just pump it a few times and we'll get that thought out, 'kay?
Texas congressoaf Louie Gohmert offered a new variation on this week’s popular “Was The Iraq War A Good Idea” theme Tuesday, explaining that if George W. Bush had only known he’d be succeeded by the Very Bad President Barack Obama, he never would have invaded Iraq, because Barack Obama loves ISIS and wants to gay-marry ISIS and have a bunch of ISIS terrorist babies with ISIS. Read more on Congressdolt Louie Gohmert: Iraq War Was A Mistake Because Obama Has Boner For Our Enemies…
  Shucks And Aww

Even Crazy Old Pat Robertson Knows Iraq War Was A Mistake, Sorta

Funny, he didn't prophesy that coming
Pat Robertson is just the latest rightwinger to decide that, as of right now, the Iraq War wasn’t such a terrific idea after all. Not that George W. Bush sold us the war based on a pack of lies or anything — he was just misled by the flawed intelligence, don’t you know. But on Tuesday’s episode of the 700 Club, Robertson was pretty clear that the war was a bad idea from the get-go, and everybody knew it (except for how they didn’t know it at the time, of course). Not that too much introspection is called for, because hey, it happened, what’re you going to do about it? Read more on Even Crazy Old Pat Robertson Knows Iraq War Was A Mistake, Sorta…
  I see England I see France I can see Russia from my house

Scott Walker Will Be Best President Of America, Because He’s Been To Europe Like Twice

Less charisma than a sleeping basset hound, and nowhere near as cute.
Despite the fact that presidential candidate Carly Fiorina (R-LOL) has explained that going places on airplanes — like that know-nothing Hillary Clinton, who used to be Secretary of State — is not the same thing as actual foreign policy experience, her likely rival for the nomination, Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin (R-Zzzzzzz), apparently is not paying attention, because he told Bob Schieffer on Face The Nation that he will be so much better of a president than Hillary Clinton, because the places he went to on airplanes are nice, and the places Hillary Clinton went to on airplanes suckity suck, and are also Benghazi: Read more on Scott Walker Will Be Best President Of America, Because He’s Been To Europe Like Twice…
  this is why he'll be a great president

Jeb Bush Appalled Hillary Clinton Doesn’t Answer Questions As Good As He Does

Jeb Buh points to the part of his brain where he processes the questions.
Ooh, it’s time for some fighting words! Jeb Bush is willing to face all the tough questions, and Hillary Clinton is not, according to Jeb Bush. He has nothing to say about what actually happens when he tries to answer those questions, let’s just forget about all that, because at least he’s trying, therefore he gives himself an A for effort: Read more on Jeb Bush Appalled Hillary Clinton Doesn’t Answer Questions As Good As He Does…
  department of gotcha questions

Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse

It would seem that getting stumped by really simple questions isn’t a problem limited to Jeb Bush being A Idiot. ALL the 2016 Republican candidates are doing it! CNN’s Chris Moody traveled to the South Carolina Freedom Summit, where all the wingnut hopefuls were gathered, and he had one tough gotcha question: “Who’s the best living president?” The hilariously pitiful answer, from all the candidates? NONE OF THEM, KATIE, and also Ronald Reagan’s decomposed bones. No, really, these are their answers: Read more on Republican Candidates Agree: The Best Living President Is Ronald Reagan’s Rotting Corpse…
  Now we know

Jeb ‘The Smart One’ Bush Determined To Prove He’s Just As Stupid As His Brother

Yes, he's that dumb
Jeb Bush has dreamed of being president since, oh, the last century. His dumb big brother got to skip ahead of him (UNFAIR, Dad), but now it is finally Jeb’s turn. So given his decades of dreaming and scheming and preparationing, you’d think he would know how to answer the most obvious question he will be asked during his not-yet-official campaign: Are you a fucking idiot just like your brother? Read more on Jeb ‘The Smart One’ Bush Determined To Prove He’s Just As Stupid As His Brother…
  Good plan or GREAT plan?

Jeb Bush Unveils Presidential Cabinet, Everyone In It Is George W. Bush

He's with stupid
Every Republican knows the absolute last name you ever want to mention in mixed company is, um, you know. That one president who came before Barack Obama. Hell, even that one president knows he is toxic, which is why he has said “you won’t see me” during the 2016 presidential election. Because his name is shit, his legacy is shit, his own party has distanced itself from him for years, not inviting him to conventions and insisting he was never really one of them anyway. But there’s one Republican who thinks saying GEORGE W. BUSH is a winning strategy. You’ll never guess who it is! Read more on Jeb Bush Unveils Presidential Cabinet, Everyone In It Is George W. Bush…
  burn him

RINO Jeb Bush Thinks Poverty Might Be Part Of Baltimore’s Problem, As If

As this emotionally fraught week draws to a close in Baltimore, we must come together as a nation, as Americans, to honor the true victims of the unrest that has rattled the city. Along with the National Guardsmen who could have gotten tennis elbow from carrying all their free food and the politicians who were briefly alarmed while passing through on the train, we should bow our heads to honor the memory of Jeb Bush’s dearly departed Republicanism. Read more on RINO Jeb Bush Thinks Poverty Might Be Part Of Baltimore’s Problem, As If…
  maybe the demon sheep did it

Did Carly Fiorina Run Hewlett-Packard Into The Ground, Or Did SEXISM Do It?

Maybe the demon sheep ruined HP.
Carly Fiorina has had a busy couple of decades! There was the 1990s, when she was so tied up she didn’t have a chance to vote, and there was the 2000s, when she thought a good way to get Barbara Boxer’s Senate seat might be to release a commercial full of demon sheep, in order to terrify children and grown-ups alike. And somewhere in there (1999-2005, to be exact) she found time to run Hewlett-Packard straight into the ground. OR DID SHE? (Yes.) BUT REALLY? (Yes.) BUT COULD IT HAVE BEEN SEXISM? Read more on Did Carly Fiorina Run Hewlett-Packard Into The Ground, Or Did SEXISM Do It?…
  Trigger warning for GWB

George W. Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Trash-Talk Obama’s Middle East Strategy. Really.

Fuck this guy
Ever since leaving the White House, the worst president in America’s history has mostly kept his stumbling idiot wordhole shut, because he is a man of integrity, and he would never stoop so low as to criticize President Obama, as he explained in 2009: Read more on George W. Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Trash-Talk Obama’s Middle East Strategy. Really….
  wtf?

Republicans Actually Say Out Loud They Are Not Loyal To America, To Pollsters, With Their Mouths

Just plain sad
After all these years of hearing So. Much. BULLSHIT! about Barack Obama — he’s a secret Muslim, he’s a secret Kenyan, he’s a cokehead, he’s a gay, he’s the devil, he’s the anti-christ, he’s Hitler, he’s a this that the other thing ARGGGHHHH! — we have no right to be shocked anymore by anything any Republicans say or do to let us know just how much they hate the president. Read more on Republicans Actually Say Out Loud They Are Not Loyal To America, To Pollsters, With Their Mouths…
  bless his heart

Mean Girl Lindsey Graham: Even Hillary Clinton Could Fix Iran Better Than Stupid Rand Paul

A little eye-cream could spruce up that side-eye, just saying.
The Confirmed Bachelor Prince Of The Low Country is throwing some MEAN shade at official 2016 presidential loser Rand Paul! Who’s smarter than Rand Paul when it comes to keeping Iran from getting nukes, according to Sen. Lindsey Graham? The answer is EVERYONE, including that liberal Hillary Clinton. Talking to the Face The Nation teevee program, Graham said that the only 2016 candidate who would do worse than tyrant Obama in negotiating with the Iranians is that loser Rand Paul, who hilariously announced his presidential run on Tuesday. Read more on Mean Girl Lindsey Graham: Even Hillary Clinton Could Fix Iran Better Than Stupid Rand Paul…
  Take A Cruz On Denial

Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church

Get your denier bingo cards out!
In a bravura performance Tuesday, Ted Cruz crammed an astonishing number of lies about global warming into four minutes of a longer interview with Texas Tribune reporter Jay Root. It was really pretty impressive! Cruz asserted that “we should follow the science and follow the evidence” on climate change, and then proceeded to reel off a whole catalogue of distortions, half-truths, and outright lies that have been refuted again and again. He hit just about every space on the Climate Denial Bingo card; for the sake of our sanity, we won’t refute everything he said, just some of our favorite stretchers. Read more on Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church…
  Popping Black Heads

WND Thrilled To Bitses With Exploding Obama Head In Kingsman: Secret Service

Again, a little explosion would have made it OK
Remember how it was INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL when some British filmmakers made a movie that practically nobody saw, imagining the assassination of George W. Bush? Rush Limbaugh called the director of Death of a President a “sicko,” Congresscritic Peter King gave it two thumbs down, called it “absolutely disgraceful,” and warned “This is a dangerous world,” and fretted that the fake documentary “could incite real violence.” And liberals everywhere were shameful, just shameful, for their failure to condemn this atrocity. In fact, they supposedly loved it, although it managed to gross less than a million dollars worldwide. And then there was that INCREDIBLY DISRESPECTFUL half-second shot of George W. Bush’s head on a pike in Game of Thrones, the result, the studio said, of using whatever prosthetic heads the studio had on hand for a shot of several heads on pikes. Fox News called it “Outrageous,” Freepers melted down over it, and probably somebody on Twitter complained that Bill Clinton’s head had been cropped out of the scene. HBO apologized profusely and edited the shot out of future DVD releases. Message is clear: it is incredibly rude and outrageous to depict the killing of a sitting (or former) President of the United States. Read more on WND Thrilled To Bitses With Exploding Obama Head In Kingsman: Secret Service…
  GOP and Iran sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Republicans Send Love Note To Iran That Obama Isn’t Really President, Wink Wink

Hey remember how I saved the country?
In an interesting maneuver of uber-patriotic diplomacy, Senate Republicans have decided to go rogue and educate Iran on how does the U.S. Constitution work, and how “President” Obama is, like, barely even the president: Read more on Republicans Send Love Note To Iran That Obama Isn’t Really President, Wink Wink…
  Eyes On the Prez

NYT Deletes America’s Real President, George W. Bush, From Selma Photo

Don't you see the outrage?
Some Conservatweeters are very, very upset with the New York Times for a cover photo of Barack Obama at Saturday’s 50th anniversary commemoration of the 1965 civil rights march in Selma, Alabama. You see, the Times photographer, Doug Mills, had “cropped” his photo by focusing on President Barack Obama and Rep. John Lewis, instead of being a completely different photographer standing somewhere else and taking a completely different photograph with a wider angle that included former President George W. Bush: Read more on NYT Deletes America’s Real President, George W. Bush, From Selma Photo…
  Did You Ever Notice Liberals Are Stupid? What's Up With That?

Ladies, Sean Hannity Can See Into Your Baby Caves

Suck it, Jon Stewart. Now THIS is comedy.
It turns out that CPAC 2015 was pretty much a Cavalcade of Conservative Comedy. In addition to the sly wit of Rick Santorum’s Birther joke, Sean Hannity did this hilarious routine about how Barack Obama keeps blaming Bush for everything! Talk about a fresh idea! Except it sort of went all cattywampus at the end: Read more on Ladies, Sean Hannity Can See Into Your Baby Caves…