Tag Archives: george w. bush

  Sad war drumbeat :(

Aw, Man, Does This Mean We Don’t Get To Do War To Iran?

We sure showed 'em
And we were so looking forward to more endless war Bad news for bloodlusters who’ve been wanting, for years, to Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran. Despite all of the warnings from the very same stupid dicks who were completely wrong about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction that turned out to just be Saddam’s doodles on the back of a cocktail napkin about how he might like to do some “weapons of mass destruction-related program activities” one day, it appears the Senate is prepared to back President Obama’s evil scheme to avoid warring on yet another country over in that desert region where all of our oil is buried: Read more on Aw, Man, Does This Mean We Don’t Get To Do War To Iran?…
  Mom burns

Donald Trump To Jeb Bush: YOUR MOM!

Smile and remember you're not good enough, son.
Smile and remember you’re not good enough, son. Oh, now this is just sad, even sadder than the last time we said something was sad about Jeb Bush, like last week. Donald Trump has noticed that Barbara Bush doesn’t seem to be be all that jazzed about being Jeb Bush’s mom, and Trump’s using it against him. Trump’s new ad is just an interview with Mother Superior, where in response to “Would you like to see him run?” she simply says, “No, I really don’t. I think it’s a great country, there are a lot of great families, there are just just other people out there that are very qualified, and we’ve had enough Bushes.” SICK MOM BURN. Read more on Donald Trump To Jeb Bush: YOUR MOM!…
  Brother can you spare a note?

Jeb! Bush Failing So Hard He Needs His Brother’s Help, LOL

He's with stupid
Brotherly love This is just sad. Like, we almost feel bad for this guy, that’s how sad. (Calm down, we said almost.) While Jeb! Bush has already lost the presidential election, because we said so, he’s now in such deep manure, with those polling numbers racing toward zero faster than a Bush races into Iraq, that Big Brother Dubya has to lend a hand. You know, the brother whose name is so toxic in Republican circles that they dare not speak it aloud. The brother who’d said in April that we probably wouldn’t see much of him during this election, because hoo boy, it wouldn’t help Jeb none to remind voters that he came from the same gene pool as President A Idiot, who broke the whole US of A to death, practically. Read more on Jeb! Bush Failing So Hard He Needs His Brother’s Help, LOL…
  Also Dewey *Did* Defeat Truman

Jeb! Bush Remembers That One Time His Brother Won The Iraq War

This one was pretty much mandatory
Jeb! Bush would just like you all to know what a terrific job his brother George did in Iraq. No really, you may have thought it was a quagmire with thousands of dead Americans and hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis, plus the creation of instability that continues to this day, but now that he’s given it a lot of thought and gone back and forth on it a few times, Jeb! would like you to know that his big bro was much better at war stuff than you remember! Read more on Jeb! Bush Remembers That One Time His Brother Won The Iraq War…
  get a brain moran

Jeb! Bush So Mad Hillary Clinton Invaded Iraq

Um … what? We thought Jeb! Bush had learned his lesson about not saying words on the subject of Iraq. You know, because of that one time he was still for the invasion, and then had a confuse about the yes-or-no question of “knowing what we know now, would you still invade Iraq, yes or no?” (see, trick question!), and then he was quite sure it was disrespectful to The Troops to even talk about it, and then he was against the invasion, but in a respectful-to-the-troops sort of way. And all in the course of a single week! Read more on Jeb! Bush So Mad Hillary Clinton Invaded Iraq…
  Hot Cop Dana Perino gonna arrest Planned Parenthood

Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies

Oh look, here is former George W. Bush spokesditz and current Fox Blonde Dana Perino, doing a dumb on the teevee again. Yes, again. What crawled up her butt and died this time? Did her husband get arrested some more? No, it’s The Media (stupid media, you stupids!), of which she is definitely not a member, even though she is on a show called “The Five,” on Fox News, which supposedly does news and is therefore The Media, so what the flippity fuck is she even blah-blahing about? She is all riled up because no one in The Media is covering these bogus sting videos of Planned Parenthood at all, which you probably haven’t heard about because The Media refuses to report on them (five million different ways), and which, according to dumb dick cohost Fox Guy are EVEN WORSE than those terrible videos of ISIS beheadings. Seriously. Read more on Fox Genius Dana Perino Real Upset People Hate Torture More Than They Love Babies…
  Him smart

Jeb Bush No Like Big Words

He's just a simple caveman candidate
At long last we have an explanation for why Jeb! Bush fucks it up so bad every time he’s asked to answer a question. BECAUSE WORDS IS HARD AND TOUGH. Big words with syllables are for ineffective fancypants elitists like Barack Obama and John Kerry and Hillary Clinton, whereas little words, like the kinds Jeb! and his brother use, are good. He explained this in the same interview in which he said Americans wouldn’t be so poor if we just worked a million more hours per day: Read more on Jeb Bush No Like Big Words…
  pull youselves up by your bootstraps (if you still have legs)

George W. Bush: Sorry About All The Maiming. That Will Be $100,000, Please.

We would suggest an art auction but your average veteran deserves more than $1.25.
George W. Bush sure figured out a nice scam to earn himself some income in his post-presidency retirement. First, as president, he sent thousands of Americans off to get maimed in war. Then, when they came back, he could charge charities trying to help those maimed soldiers a cool $100,000 to come shower them with bullshit platitudes at gala dinners. Whee! Read more on George W. Bush: Sorry About All The Maiming. That Will Be $100,000, Please….
  He made it the old fashioned way

Jeb Bush Tax Returns Reveal He’s F*cking Rich

Only in America
There’s one thing Jeb Bush learned real good from Mitt Romney, besides how to flip flop around like a dying fish on even the simplest of questions, and that is: don’t try to hide how rich you are. You are rich, and everyone knows it, so don’t be all mysterious and defensive because you’ll be asked about it for the rest of your life. (We’re still waiting for Mitt to let us see his tax returns so we can calculate approximately how much of his cash is stashed in the Cayman Islands.) Read more on Jeb Bush Tax Returns Reveal He’s F*cking Rich…
  Show us on the doll where Obama touched Lady Liberty

Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse

Pollsters are hilarious sometimes. Talking Points Memo has the results of a new poll from Public Policy Polling, asking people which do they like better:  The Duggar family, kid-touching and all, or Barack Obama? You will be so shocked to find out that a full 67% of folks who voted for Mitt Romney in 2012 still like the Duggars better than Obama, whereas 87% of Obama voters think Obama is better than kid-touchers and the people who cover for them. THERE’S YOUR PARTISAN DIVIDE, AMERICA. Read more on Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse…
  Wonkette Music Hour

Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To

Not pictured: Neil Young flipping Donald Trump off behind his back.
It’s the same old story. Asshole wingnut decides to run for president, decides that the song he’s ALWAYS wanted to use is this lefty liberal anthem written by a lefty liberal rock star, and the lefty liberal rock star is like, “Fuck off, I did NOT say you could use my music, and also I hate you.” This time, it’s Neil Young, and he’s real pissed that Donald Trump decided to play “Rockin’ In The Free World” as he waddled onstage to announce that he’s pretending to run for president again. Young’s manager released a statement saying that “Donald Trump’s use of ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ was not authorized,” and also, “Mr. Young is a longtime supporter of Bernie Sanders.” Read more on Here’s A Few More Lefty Neil Young Songs For Donald Trump To F*ck Right Off To…
  Also Kept Us Safe From Terrorism Mostly

George W. Bush Real Glad He Won Iraq War, Misses Commander Guy Cosplay

Ah the good ol' days
Look at this fuckin’ guy: A fair number of people in our country were saying that it was impossible to defeat al-Qaida — which is ISIS as far as I am concerned. They said I must get out of Iraq. But I chose the opposite — I sent 30,000 more troops as opposed to 30,000 fewer. I think history will show that al-Qaida in Iraq was defeated. Believe it or not, that’s George Dubya, still swaggering around and acting all proud of that time he beat the terrorists in Iraq, who weren’t there until he invaded the place because he sucks at geography, and also Daddy Issues. Good thing he took care of that so we never need to have “boots on the ground” in Iraq again, huh? Read more on George W. Bush Real Glad He Won Iraq War, Misses Commander Guy Cosplay…
  Back in my day!

Jeb Bush: Let’s Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public

Baby did a bad bad thing.
Try to contain all your surprise, but Jeb Bush has been A Idiot for a LONG TIME. We know about his recent string of fuckups — “Knowing what we know of knowing about Iraq and stuff and things, it was not a mistake to invade Iraq, except totally was, QED!” — but today we present to you a Jeb Bush fuckup from 20 years ago, in his 1995 book Profiles In Character. How do we get unwed pregnant ladies and welfare queens and other miscreants to stop being all pregnant and moochy? By bringing back public shaming, of course! Here is your pull quote from the book: Read more on Jeb Bush: Let’s Get Rid Of Unwed Whores By Making Fun Of Them In Public…
  Here have some news n stuff

People Have Paid Millions To Listen To George W. Bush, For Some Reason

Him?
The new rule is that making money is bad (if you’re a Clinton). And making money by charging speaking fees is bad (if you’re a Clinton). And being able to charge a TON of money because people really want to hear you say words is REALLY BAD (if you’re a Clinton). But the jury is still out if your name is George W. Bush: Read more on People Have Paid Millions To Listen To George W. Bush, For Some Reason…