Ghost Andrew Breitbart never sleeps, there is too much VETTENING to be done! The latest, it will knock you out of your bobby sox, cats and kittens! But what is it? What VETTENING could keep spreading and growing, like the brain holes you get from syphilis? Oh, only THIS (prepaaaare yourselves!): President Barack Obama is [...]
Way back when your Comics Curmudgeon went to D.C. to make sure George W. Bush wasn’t going to pull off a coup at the last second, he would have never believed that he’d ever say anything nice about the dude, but here we are three years later and here’s something nice: George W. Bush has, [...]
At last, the only endorsement that matters: George W. Bush supports… Obama, again?… no, the other one, Willard McScalp-o-tron. It must have been the tales of privileged schoolboy terorrizing that ultimately won over Bush’s heart. Gotta make’m earn it, the Bushes like to say. Anyway, Romney better get started moving into the White House right [...]
Are you sad because the exciting contest over which angry white fellow would take on Barack Obama in November is now over, and extra sad because the winner was the dude who was super awkward and boring, and not even super awkward and boring in kind of a fun way? Do you hold out high [...]
John Boehner is so sad you guys. Won’t Obama PLEASE pay up and reimburse the nation for the $179,000 per hour in taxpayer munneez it costs when he goes places and talks to people? Going to colleges and firing up popular support for the extension of low interest rates on college loans is especially “pathetic,” [...]
Kathleen Parker won a Pulitzer Prize once for her op-eds, and is it any wonder when she pens such beautiful columns as this one, decrying the president’s schedulers for letting him go to North Carolina when Democrats have Behaved Badly there? It is not the audacity of hope, but the Incompetency of Arrogance (real thing!) [...]
Lord Ahmed of Rotherham, a suspiciously Muslin-sounding Labour peer, was suspended last night after allegedly claiming he would put up a £10million bounty for the capture of Barack Obama, for pallin’ around with terrists and also for putting up a $10 million bounty of his own for Hafiz Muhammed Saeed, the alleged orchestrator of the [...]
Former President and world-wide champion rodeo clown George W. Bush said Tuesday he wishes his name weren’t so firmly attached to one of his administration’s signature pieces of legislation known as the “Bush Tax Cuts.” He recently made his feelings known at the New York Historical Society. But why is the former president having such [...]
New reports out of France suggest that George W. Bush had prior knowledge of the evil librul plot to destroy America by electing an overwhelmingly centrist politician to succeed him. Let’s have the dirt, Buzzfeed: “George W. Bush told French President Nicolas Sarkozy that he had early intelligence that Democrat Barack Obama would be his [...]
George W. Bush wasn’t doing much of anything in 2008, having pretty much checked himself out of “administrative duties” sometime in late 2006. One of the things Bush was definitely not doing as he rode out his term was bringing down the cost of gas! And the Fox News of 2008 rushed to defend his [...]
Did you hear the latest reason fringe-right American bigots hate their U.S. president, Barack Obama? It’s because insane American soldiers are burning Korans in Afghanistan, at their giant army base prisons all over the country, and this is causing riots and murders and craziness, and the American government has apologized for this outrage … which [...]
We don’t believe in an interventionist god, so today’s cheery eyewitness report of Dick Cheney being “enfeebled” at a death-war military contractor’s holiday cocktail ritual does not make us believe we’re all going to have a very merry Christmas. We must remember that Dick Cheney has been legally dead about a hundred times, and he [...]
One of the funniest things Michelle Bachmann ever did – this week! – was to name her new book “Core of Conviction,” by which she means she should be convicted for being criminally insane. And now, courtesy of some tortured bet-losing news room intern who was forced to read an advance copy of her certifiable [...]
We usually click “delete all” on the marketing press releases that flood the Wonkette Tips Line each day, but this Veterans Day Charity Auction thing to help veterans mauled and disfigured by Donald Rumsfeld’s murderous oil-company wars sounded kind of special: “Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is auctioning the opportunity for a winning bidder [...]
This is the tragic scene from a Borders closeout sale in Maryland. Do we spy a “Young Adult” section in the background of the photo marked with only a 70% off sign? FOR SHAME, AMERICA. [Thanks to Wonkette Operative "Alex S."]
