Wonkette

Hey, do you want to know way, way, too much about George Stephanopoulos’ sex life? No? Too damn bad, Ali Wentworth is going to tell you all about it in the Sunday Times. Like she does every damn time a reporter speaks to her. MORE »

This week’s Wonk’d hits close to home, as everyone spotted looks spaced out and bitter. Laura Bush’s face lets George know that if she’s gonna be up early she better have a drink in her hand, and Dennis Kucinich may not need that particular poison, but he’s got his own way to relax. Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer party at South East’s most deluxe Chinese joint, George Stephanopoulos shows he has almost mastered the art of exchanging money for goods and services, and Andrew Sullivan pays for WiFi from The Man just to avoid being spotted at the free place down the street, and ends up here anyway. These aggravated big-shots and last week’s douchiness explained — if you can begrudge us another click.

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It’s a new year in Wonk’d but all the famous-for-dc cats have already broken their resolutions. Laura Bush only made it 3 days before she was back on the sauce, Robert Novak may have been at the happiest place on Earth, but he was still an asshole, and of course there’s Katherine Harris, as you can see, taking to the streets of Florida during the warmest winter ever, in an ankle length fur coat. You get these dandies plus a Member of Congress who loves to stare at members of men, after you unzip.

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It’s an all talking heads (no Byrne) edition of Wonk’d as Charles Krauthammer tries to roll over the Kennedy Center staff, Wolf Blitzer avoids a situation outside of his comfort room, Lou Dobbs takes a weekend break from painting on his hair, and, as always, George Stephanopoulos. This main course and few small fixin’s, after you set the table.

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Bold facers display their blithe indifference to the common man in this week’s Wonk’d as Alan Greenspan laughs uproariously at the unsuspecting pawns in Borat, Bill Clinton ignores dead bodies in the street, and fey Karl Rove won’t even give a guy a courtesy nod. James Baker still keeps it real by hanging at bars - but only if they’re really classy. At least there’s always Marion Barry, who’s hip to the hot spots, and down with the cool styles. All these celebrity drinking habits, plus Grover Norquist reduced to buying last season’s irregular suits off the rack, after the jump.

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After a multi-week hiatus, today’s Wonk’d features the return of George Stephanopoulos, who’s hip to the best pizza in DC. Also, from NYC, the bi-metro Clintons party with, but not like, rockstars, while Al Gore dry-humps his SUV. Cynthia McKinney keeps it real, and, uh, Ruben Studdard was here for some reason. Finally, a sighting so heinous it needs a disclaimer: If you make the jump, and read what follows, you will be unable to completely erase the mental image from your mind. Things thought cannot be unthought — even with all the drugs you bought last night for the weekend.

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It’s hot as hell on the East Coast, and Brit Hume is hiking around Georgetown and sweating through his super 130’s suits. But Joe Lockhart and Ken Mehlman don’t play that game, they’re all about Air Conditioning and mint juleps. Jessica Cutler, on the other hand, stays cool in a nice pair of booty shorts. MORE »

It’s a very gay week in Wonk’d. Cher was at the Capitol, Andre Leon Talley was shopping for make-up in Dupont, and Jenna Bush was enjoying some musical theater. Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd gets man-handled at a Hill bar, and Wolf Blitzer is dropping some pounds and dressing sassy. Some bold-facers defy stereotypes though, like Wizards player Donell Taylor, shopping sans entourage, and Mark Shields, driving the way liberal pundits shouldn’t. At least you can always count on Wonk’d — and Katherine Harris’s taste in outfits.

Sooner or later everyone comes to Washington. When they do, it’s your duty as citizens of this fair city to make sure they get spotted and end up in these pages, er, screens. Whatever; just email us, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, and the name of the sightee. You, the sighter, will remain anonymous — at least until your big break, when people start sending in sightings of you!

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You need keen eyes to spot celebrities in this town — unless, of course, they herald their own presence, as did Bill Cosby and Thomas Friedman this week. It’s also hard to keep a low profile if you’re sporting a shock of silver hair, like Anderson Cooper, or have a nuclear-family-sized security squad, like Anthony Williams.

George Stephanopoulos must have a fetish for being Wonk’d, because he can’t seem to stay hidden. But even discretion doesn’t work all the time, as Condi Rice found out. It’s also totally impossible to be inconspicuous if you’re 7′2″ — and Dikembe Mutombo doesn’t even try.

We all know they’re dying to be seen, so just help feed their celebrit-ego by sending us all your sightings, by email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with of the name of the spotted celeb). On behalf of all the dying-for-attention famous people out there, we thank you.

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