Tag Archives: george soros

  Their Football Team Also Sucks Too

Email From Your Crazy Uncle: Obama Welcomes ISIS Youth Groups To Michigan, Sure Why Not

We saw it on the internet so it must be true
Wow, did you hear the shocking news that Barack Obama used one of those unconstitutional executive order thingies to allow a “youth center” run by an open ISIS sympathizer to open in Dearborn, Michigan, which is full of radical Muslims already? It’s completely true, apart from the fact that it’s wholly fictional. But somebody was worried enough to post it on an anti-Muslim Facebook page, and apparently it’s getting some traction on social media, even though it’s from rightwing fake-news site The People’s Cube, which is another of those sites that thinks “satire” need not be “funny.” Read more on Email From Your Crazy Uncle: Obama Welcomes ISIS Youth Groups To Michigan, Sure Why Not…
  Here's a fucked up thing

NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!

RIP
We have only begun to graze the tip of the iceberg when it comes to obscene, disgusting wingnut reactions to the Charleston mass murder that ended the lives of 9 black churchgoers, aged from 26 to 87, on Wednesday night. So we guess it’s time for NRA people to start saying words, and surprise, they are not good words. Charles Cotton is a member of the NRA’s board, and he knows who killed those people. No, not Dylann Storm Roof, the alleged gunman who has since confessed, silly! It was Rev. Clementa Pinckney, state senator and pastor at Emanuel AME Church, according to Cotton. How did Pinckney manage that? By voting against a bill that would have allowed people to carry concealed guns in church, of course! Read more on NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!…
  It's always the cover-up

Let’s Remember That Time Speaker Denny Hastert Covered Up A GOP Sex Scandal!

Shed a tear for Denny
Back when Republican Denny Hastert was Speaker of the House — before he became a lobbyist and before he was indicted for paying someone a whole lot of hush money to cover up “prior misconduct,” whatever that means, we are terrified to find out — there was this whole other thing Hastert tried to keep all hushed up, and it was a gross Republican sex scandal (our favorite kind). Time to flashback thingy! Read more on Let’s Remember That Time Speaker Denny Hastert Covered Up A GOP Sex Scandal!…
  Mah Raghts!

Gun Nuts Just Want Mom’s Address To Say Howdy, Probably

More evidence that open carry is in the Napoleon-in-Russia phase of its campaign for gun rights most people never asked for and don’t want: a now-deleted tweet from prominent Texas open carry nut and alleged airline pilot Eric Reed: How’s that month-old frozen horse meat tasting today, Eric? (Astute readers may recognize one Robert J. “Raging Rob” Kinnison in the reply. He’s the guy who likes to tell people to put dicks in their mouths and shut up.) Read more on Gun Nuts Just Want Mom’s Address To Say Howdy, Probably…
  Fulsome Prison Blues

Charles Koch Wishes Courts Would Give All Billionaires An Even Break

Yer basic captain of industry, he is.
Squillionaire Charles Koch, having reshaped the legislative and regulatory landscape a bit more to his liking over the past few decades, is planning to do some exciting renovations to the judicial branch of government next. But don’t worry! He’s not out to get more lenient sentences for perpetrators of white-collar crime, because rich guys never go to prison anyway. No, Charles Koch and his top attorney say this new focus on judicial reform is all about making the justice system fairer for the little guy. Trust him. Read more on Charles Koch Wishes Courts Would Give All Billionaires An Even Break…
  it gets better

Michele Bachmann Bravely Stands Up For Oppressed Straight People Everywhere

Michele Bachmann leads a rough life. Despite being a Congresswoman, former presidential front-runner, and a national spokesperson for Crazy Eye Syndrome, she has a problem. As a straight person, she is tired of being bullied by the gays all the time. Bachmann recently went on the Lars Larson show to discuss CPAC, and discussed being the victim of bullying, via Right Wing Watch: “And the thing that I think is getting a little tiresome is the gay community have so bullied the American people and they have so intimidated politicians that politicians fear them and they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere. Well, not with the Constitution you don’t.” When will America come to terms with the decades of oppression faced by straight people at the manicured hands of the gays? And here’s the crazy(er) part: that’s not the craziest thing she said in the interview!  Read more on Michele Bachmann Bravely Stands Up For Oppressed Straight People Everywhere…
  all along the watchtowers

Arizona Senate Passes Dumb Bill To Protect Citizens From Obama’s Plot To Nuke America

The Arizona Senate voted Thursday to approve a bill aimed at one of the pet obsessions of preppers and Obama conspiracy theorists. The proposal would require the Department of Emergency and Military Affairs to develop and issue recommendations for how to survive if an electromagnetic pulse hits Arizona or the entire United States, theoretically sending the country into a dark age. The Senate voted 24-3 in favor of the measure, sending it on to the House. There’s a thin…no, make that a fairly bright, well-defined line between disaster preparedness and nutty conspiracy paranoia, and the Arizona Senate seems happy to jump across it. Read more on Arizona Senate Passes Dumb Bill To Protect Citizens From Obama’s Plot To Nuke America…
  say it ain't so

Wingnut Blog Shocked To Learn Corporations Give Money To Fascist Communist Muslim Socialists ‘Think Progress’

Hope you’re sitting down, kids: the pro-American, completely reason-based blog PowerLine made a shocking discovery last week: There are politically oriented organizations that it disagrees with, and there are actually businesses that make donations to those organizations! No really, this shocking true fact is true! The Center for American Progress is a left-wing organization that is closely associated with the Obama administration. Its principal product is a web site called Think Progress. Think Progress is part of the internet cesspool that modern liberalism has become. Written by hack left-wing bloggers, it is bitterly hostile to free enterprise. It is a low-rent site that traffics in the most absurd smears and conspiracy theories. This is all true — conspiracy theories like “global warming is real” and absolutely made-up anti-free-enterprise smears like “45 Fossil Fuel Disasters The Industry Doesn’t Want You To Know About,” which suggest that the petroleum industry is somehow not especially clean. Yr Wonket, by the way, does not traffic in smears and conspiracy theories. We prefer to think that we participate in the market of smear and conspiracy theory ideas. Read more on Wingnut Blog Shocked To Learn Corporations Give Money To Fascist Communist Muslim Socialists ‘Think Progress’…
  a solution finally

Tea Party Has New Holy Cause: Converting Known ‘Atheist’ George Soros!

The Tea Party is the absolute worst party in American history. It’s just like every sequel — the first one is totally awesome and brings about the creation of a new country, and the second one is Hangover 2. The Tea Party Nouveau is just like that! There is a fucking monkey and a Thai drug dealer and Michele Bachmann and whatshername, that one-time part-time quitter governor lady from that faraway iglooland place. The only change we have is more racism, an overabundance of derpitude, and a House of Representatives run by the Great Orange Crier. After trying to scam the gubmint to get out of paying taxes, how can the Tea Party possibly further ruin this week? Well, the religious scholars of the Alexander Lakes Area Tea Party recently decided to open their holier-than-thou, spittle-filled pieholes and spew forth vomitous awfulness. Ready to have your afternoon day-drinking buzz killed? Let’s go! The Alexandria Lakes Area Tea Party (ALATP), Alexandria, MN, would like to invite you to participate in a world-wide prayer campaign for the conversion of George Soros from atheism to Christianity. Let’s see what we know about George Soros. He is worth $4.5 gazillion dollars, is totally in love with Our Kenyan Emperor, and gives lots of monies away to super-duper liberal causes. Anything else about his past? Nah, nothing important we can think of. Read more on Tea Party Has New Holy Cause: Converting Known ‘Atheist’ George Soros!…
  blog about blog about brett kimberlin day

The New Horrible Thing Liberals Are Responsible For: Some Bomber Dude

This special Memorial Day evening post comes courtesy of Wonkette Operative Doktor StrangeZoom. That’s right: Doktor StrangeZoom has saved Memorial Day! Just when you had finally figured out who the hell Saul Alinsky was, the right-wing blogosphere has found a brand new boogeyman to be terrified of: Brett Kimberlin, a convicted bomber, maybe murderer, and head of a liberal organization that no one’s ever heard of, the Justice Through Music Project, which has received funding from the Tides Foundation (George Soros!) and Barbra Streisand (Yentl!). Apparently, in addition to saving the world through music and lying about having sold pot to Dan Quayle, Kimberlin’s other hobby is destroying Free Speech by suing, harassing, stalking, and maybe trying to kill right-wing bloggers, at least according to several right-wing bloggers, who decided that last Friday would be “Blog About Brett Kimberlin Day,” so that the entire right-wing blogosphere could have a collective freakout about how the Left is threatening America yet again. As part of the festivities, Glenn Beck’s Serious News Operation The Blaze contributed a sober, carefully sourced exposé titled MEET SOROS-FUNDED DOMESTIC TERRORIST BRETT KIMBERLIN WHOSE ‘JOB’ IS TERRORIZING BLOGGERS INTO SILENCE. Read more on The New Horrible Thing Liberals Are Responsible For: Some Bomber Dude…
  when you've lost bill o'reilly you've lost america

Fox Boss’s Gotcha Too ‘Ugly’ Even For Bill O’Reilly

Fox News head and living Cthulu Roger Ailes forwarded to all his underlings some crazy chain emails from the Fox Research department saying George Soros, as a 14-year-old Jew who had been hidden by a Christian family but did not have the grace to stay in the attic, was a total Nazi collaborator who ate Jewish babies and washed them down with communion wine. The one-word response from Bill O’Reilly’s producer? “Ugly.” “So do you want a job or not?” snitted Ailes, sort of, or more properly: “Do you think you guys will use it or should I give it to someone else?” O’Reilly passed, because Roger Ailes’s cherished gotcha about the liberal and big-spending billionaire Soros being a 14-year-old who shoved Jews into ovens was too gross for Bill O’Reilly. But someone else was very very happy to have an hour about it, and that someone was onetime Fox golden calf Glenn Beck. Read more on Fox Boss’s Gotcha Too ‘Ugly’ Even For Bill O’Reilly…
  our flourishing economy

Hooray, the Super Rich Have Totally Recovered From the Collapse!

Have you been worried that maybe the super rich global elite has been suffering since the economic meltdown began three years ago? Well thanks for worrying, but they are doing just fine. Sure, there was a bit of turbulence in their NetJets charter over some of the poorer parts of America and the larger world — you try going from $1 billion a year to, say, $650 million! — but it’s smooth flying from here on out. It turns out that no matter how unemployed or cash strapped or stressed out all the non decamillionaires and hectomillionaires and cold straight billionaires might be today (and forever, until the invisible hand of death finally relieves them/us of the banal Sisyphean struggle of modern existence), the poors continues to help the super rich stay super rich. Read more on Hooray, the Super Rich Have Totally Recovered From the Collapse!…
  freedom haters

Evil Bolshevik Billionaire George Soros Donates Millions To Marijuana Hippies

Remember when George Soros gave a million dollars to Media Matters and bragged about it? Well now he is funneling millions of dollars to California marijuana smokers. How does this man sleep at night? He doesn’t, because he is a Communist Vampire who kidnaps children and then forces them to eat pot brownies: Read more on Evil Bolshevik Billionaire George Soros Donates Millions To Marijuana Hippies…
  welfare queens

WAR-ring Tea Party Patriots Ask for Handouts

The Tea Party Patriots have been super-busy lately, emailing about some “WAR” they’re fighting against George Soros and the Obamunists and also traveling to all of Glenn Beck’s Miracle Parties. Participating in these fun activities isn’t free, so the Patriots have been e-soliciting for donations, free lodging, and other goods and services (“private sector welfare”) just to stay alive. “Our destiny is not to fade miserably into the socialist quagmire that has sucked the life and freedom out of so many once vibrant countries and people around the world,” says a recent TPP email. “The destiny of America is to lead the world in freedom, in justice, and in prosperity.” They have a dream! Read more on WAR-ring Tea Party Patriots Ask for Handouts…
  scary movies

Shadow Army Of Liberal Nerds Will Destroy America!

Are you FRIGHTENED yet, citizens? Abraham Lincoln would not have cared for this at all, these sinister libtards “working in the shadows” of the publicly available Internet. Abraham Lincoln would be crying like an eagle. [via Matt Yglesias] Read more on Shadow Army Of Liberal Nerds Will Destroy America!…