Tag Archives: george orwell

  Some animals are more equal than others

Rub, Roll, Tie Up Big Meat And Heat Until Bulging, Dripping With Fat

Cook big pieces of meat in your oven during the winter to fill the air in your home with warmth and animal fat vapor. Porchetta (pronounced “porketta,” and sometimes spelled that way, too) is a pork roast made up of the belly tied around the loin with a few goodies spread around in there. Read more on Rub, Roll, Tie Up Big Meat And Heat Until Bulging, Dripping With Fat…
 

New Tech Thingy Will Protect You From the #Tyranny of Google Glass

Google Glass is the super-obnoxious new wearable technology that privacy advocates claim will turn America into the kind of dystopian panopticon envisioned by George Orwell, or Judas Priest, take your pick. Google Glass is ugly, it is dumb, and now, thank sky-god, there’s a way for normies like us to fight back. Read more on New Tech Thingy Will Protect You From the #Tyranny of Google Glass…
  let us now brag on awesome kids

Sometimes Your 17-Year-Old Suggests The Best Gift Idea Ever

My son, Kid Zoom, turned 17 yesterday. I’d had no idea what to get him for his birthday, so last weekend I asked him what he’d like. His answer kind of blew me away, because what 17-year-old would ever say, “How about you give me a stack of books that you think it’s absolutely essential for me to read”? Read more on Sometimes Your 17-Year-Old Suggests The Best Gift Idea Ever…
  won't anyone think of the strawmen?

Surprise, Breitbart Writer Does Not Know What ‘Orwellian’ Means, How To Read

If it’s Tuesday, it must be time for someone on the internet to be fretting that English Is Doomed, and so is America, because of [Insert paranoid delusion du jour]. And so let us spend a moment with poor Merrill Hope at Dead Breitbart’s Internet Institute for the Very, VERY Nervous, who has discovered that the Common Core educational standards are often discussed using a lot of jargon, that jargon is Orwellian, and therefore Common Core will destroy both English and Freedom. And then by lunch tomorrow, there will be a new threat, possibly involving voles. Read more on Surprise, Breitbart Writer Does Not Know What ‘Orwellian’ Means, How To Read…
  one derp good two derps better

Sarah Palin Knows All About This George Orwell Fella, He’s The One Who Sent The Pig To The Jello Factory

Sarah Palin has been doin’ some book learnin’ and appears to have finally made it all the way through George Orwell’s Animal Farm, which was probably pretty hard for her, let’s be honest. She’s so excited about her ever-growing love for Orwell and her ever-growing certainty that Bamz is making 1984 happen all over your face that she seems to be laboring under a misconception that schoolchildren can ever ever avoid reading Orwell. [M]any children have been, unfortunately, shielded from reading the staples “Nineteen Eight-Four” and “Animal Farm” in school. Then encourage them by your actions to be engaged and NOT LET IT HAPPEN. We can’t tell if that’s a chopped salad, or more of a Nicoise. Nonetheless, Sarah Palin, schoolmarm, has a reading assignment for you: Sarah is so certain that your children are not reading and appreciating their 10th-grade English assignments on Orwell enough that she is begging and pleading that you explain a really long and tedious and completely lacking in internal logic column from Victor Davis Hanson to your kids because what else would make them love Orwell more? America, of all places, is becoming Orwellian. The president repeatedly reminds the American people that under his leadership, the U.S. has produced a record level of new oil and natural gas. But didn’t Obama radically curtail leases for just such new energy production on federal lands? Have the edicts on the barn wall of “Animal Farm” been changed again, with the production of new oil and gas going from bad to suddenly good? Read more on Sarah Palin Knows All About This George Orwell Fella, He’s The One Who Sent The Pig To The Jello Factory…
  couple of the year

Colorado State Sen. Kent Lambert Exposes ‘Mind Control’ Technology Behind Civil Unions, Then Spontaneously Combusts

How’s this for a match made in heaven? No, not a ghey-marriage match, silly, those are lies from the pit of hell. We mean the combination of insane third-rate intertubes preacher Gordon “Chaps” Klingenschmitt, who sees demons everywhere — especially in gay animals — and his new BFF, Colorado state Sen. Kent Lambert, who went on the former Navy chaplain’s webby-teevee show to explain that civil unions are “a mind-control experiment” by Democrats to force everyone to accept gay marriage. We aren’t sure how Lambert managed to resist this witchcraft, since he does not appear to have remembered to wear his tinfoil hat. Ha-ha, we are joking of course. Lambert was able to escape the ghey mind-control rays by girding himself in the Armor of the Lord. Read more on Colorado State Sen. Kent Lambert Exposes ‘Mind Control’ Technology Behind Civil Unions, Then Spontaneously Combusts…
  first they came for the washed up comedians

Victoria Jackson Warns Bill O’Reilly That Communists Will Kill All The Jesus Any Day Now

Victoria Jackson went on Bill O’Reilly’s teevee show Wednesday and pulled off her signature alchemy again — making whoever she’s talking to seem lucid and reasonable by comparison. (OK, it doesn’t always work.) In this latest visit to the mind of Victoria Jackson, we learn that she remembers reading Orwell in high school and that she expects that Communists are on the verge of killing her and all the Christians real soon now. Read more on Victoria Jackson Warns Bill O’Reilly That Communists Will Kill All The Jesus Any Day Now…
  doubleplus good!

Sales of ‘1984’ Way Up, Booz Allen Stock Down, 4th Amendment Downgraded To Junk Status

Following last week’s revelations reminders of the government’s extensive collection and monitoring of Americans’ electronic data, sales of George Orwell’s 1984 are up sharply, according to a piece in the Washington Examiner. Once this factoid hit the interwebs, the story went Full Ouroboros — when the story broke Monday at noon EDT, 1984 was ranked 110 on Amazon’s “Movers and Shakers” list, up 69%. By 10:16 PM, the article had been updated to say that 1984 was ranked 71st. And as we typed this thing up, it was at #53 overall, which is good news for Eric Arthur Blair, the old commie. For your daily dose of cognitive dissonance, check out this thread at Free Republic, where for some reason Orwell’s being an actual socialist is far less troublesome to the commenters than Barack Obama’s being an imaginary one. Read more on Sales of ‘1984’ Way Up, Booz Allen Stock Down, 4th Amendment Downgraded To Junk Status…
  dear shit-fer-brains

Civil Rights Activist Mark Traina Would Like To Know: Is Your Wonkette A ‘Jewish Dyke’?

Last May, we brought you the news that the schoolchildren of Jefferson Parish, Louisiana, were the luckiest schoolchildren in the whole wide world, because their school psychologist, Mark A. Traina, was tweeting awesome stuff about how black children should be “put down like dogs,” and also that he is not a racist. Well apparently the Internet has just come to Louisiana, because Mark A. Traina, or as we like to think of him “Postracial Amercia Exhibit A,” has climbed out of his bourbon barrel and has a question for your Wonket: Read more on Civil Rights Activist Mark Traina Would Like To Know: Is Your Wonkette A ‘Jewish Dyke’?…
  Part 16: Are You My Dada?

Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That May Not Know About Art, But Knows What God Likes

It’s Art Depreciation Day for Homeschoolers, as we learn from our 10th-Grade textbook, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. After polishing off the dangerous liberal fads of “philosphy” and “education” last week, we’re now ready to learn all about how godless liberals tried to wreck culture through their pernicious effects on the arts! Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: A ‘World History’ Textbook That May Not Know About Art, But Knows What God Likes…
  just wing it baby

Pothead Obama’s Five Tips For Good Pothead Writing

Yahoo has published more excerpts from David Maraniss’ Barack Obama: The Story, mostly about how much he loved getting drunk and high and drag racing and then getting high again, while writing gay letters to ladies. Grow up, Obama of 30-35 years ago! But Maraniss was also able to get his hands on a list of writing tips Obama once sent a friend whose manuscript he’d overlooked. Just who does this elitist think he is, an elitist? It’s not like Bill Ayers needed any of Obama’s “tips” to write Dreams from My Father. Read more on Pothead Obama’s Five Tips For Good Pothead Writing…
  basically a modern-day proust

Noted Literary Scholar Sarah Palin Tweets About Orwell, Obama

So is Sarah Palin saying George Orwell did not write fiction, he wrote history books, and thus Obama is rewriting this history? That must be terrifying for Sarah Palin, knowing that just decades ago farm animals established a communist state right on Western soil. Or is she saying Obama will take credit for the surge, and thus Obama is a minor civil servant in the government who revises records in order to further official propaganda, a la 1984? Probably that one. So if Obama is just a civil servant, then who is president? Read more on Noted Literary Scholar Sarah Palin Tweets About Orwell, Obama…
  thursdays are for magazines

Reviewing The New York Review

Well, well, let’s take a look-see at the New York Review of Books. There’s some political stuff in here, yes? Sure there is. Besides, in a few months, the only magazines left in America will be a receipt for rice and dried fruit, and even that will be probably be a blog, and owned by Tina Brown. And plus, Steve Coll, a member of the original cast from last week’s magazine discussion, has returned. Read more on Reviewing The New York Review…
 

Who Said It?

“Freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.” If you answered “Rudy Giuliani,” give yourself a jaunty Soviet cap and report to Siberian Work Camp #207. Thanks for playing! Guiliani: Freedom is about authority [Boing Boing] Read more on Who Said It?…
 

Remainders: Death Porn

• “Oceania (commonly called the US and Britain) is at war with Afghanistan Iraq. Oceania has always been at war with Afghanistan Iraq.” [Students for Orwell] • Dave Eggers can even make freedom seem cloying and precious. [Gawker] • Failure. • Another failure: Mikey Brown runs from flood on the FEMA kids website. [FEMA] • Maybe rather than spending time on a “porn squad,” the FBI could protect kids from pictures of dead Iraqis being traded for porn. [Is That Legal?] Read more on Remainders: Death Porn…