George H.W. Bush periodically flings himself out of planes to mark the passing of another depressing half-decade in the twilight years of a disappointed old man whose presidency fell squarely into the “unimpressive” column until his son’s presidency showed us what unimpressive was really all about. What this troubled senior needs is not a squad of toothsome paratroopers to strap on his back, but instead a sympathetic ear to listen — truly listen — to his long litany of regrets, starting with how he should have had George W. Bush excised from his nethers before the unwanted growth had a chance to ruin America. [CNN]

HMM. And what is with the clown socks? [TMZ]

*OLD BUSH TO ENDORSE SIMILARLY OLD MCCAIN:* President George Herbert Walker Bush will endorse John McCain Monday, the Politicos report. George H.W. Bush may be the only American older than John McCain, so this adds some elder credibility to the warmonger’s candidacy. But in John McCain’s native country, Mexico, there are still many people older than him. [Politico]

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week was really fun in Condiland! Like her illustrious mentor, G. H. W. Bush, she inspired a new foreign language insult! It was her birthday! Something about laser helmets! And at the end of the week? OMG, new hairdo. Did you hear me? NEW HAIRDO.

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Bush Hits New Low in N.H. [AP via Boston.com]
The Day in Pictures [Seattle PI]

Vladimir Putin’s Kennebunkport visit ended with a surprising shared defense proposal that both sides will debate for a while before ultimately shelving until both presidents are replaced by overwhelmed successors. Also, G. H. W. Bush gave Vlad a present! MORE »

Former President George H. W. Bush will deliver the keynote address at a ceremony honoring the Washington Times’ 25th birthday this May. Also appearing: Times founder the Reverend Sun Myung Moon, who, you might remember, is the Messiah. And the King of the Ocean, but it’s in his role as the Messiah that he goes around demanding churches throw out their crosses and start worshipping him instead. MORE »

Former Prez George H. W. Bush uses “the email,” according to an exciting deathbed interview with him and his strangely unchanged-since-1988 wife Barbara on Fox last night. MORE »

* Republican controlled lame duck final session of the 109th Congress begins today. Only innocuous, non-controversial legislation expected to go through — but the White House is still hoping to push for the authorization of domestic wiretapping and the confirmation of John “Mustache of Fury” Bolton as ambassador to the UN. [NYT, WP]
* Nancy Pelosi supports John Murtha for House majority leader citing his early support for withdrawal from Iraq. [WP, NYT]
* Incoming Senate leadership also beating their out-of-Iraq drums, “We need to begin a phased redeployment of forces from Iraq in four to six months.” [NYT, LAT]
* Newly independent Joe Lieberman, establishing himself as the generic brand alternative on Iraq, says the Democrats’ plan “to pick up an leave” is wrong. [WP]
* California and Nancy Pelosi are all about the pork. [NYT, LAT]
* Everything you never wanted to know about Jon Tester. [NYT]
* George H. W. Bush: “I have some rights of memory in this kingdom, which now to claim my vantage doth invite me.” [Newsweek]

• Illionois Senator and Democratic Dreamboat Barack Obama all-but-announced his candidacy for President this weekend, by not not announcing it. [WP, NYT]

• In Tennessee, former Democratic Dreamboat Harold Ford is running for Senate like a Republican. His opponent is escaping charges of secret Democratic tendencies. [Newsweek, Newsweek]
• President Bush seems convinced that the Republicans are a lock to win it all this election year. Washington asks, is he high or does he know something? President’s dad: Less optimistic. [NYT, WP]
• The Virginia Senate Race may depend on women. Which is a problem for both Democrat Jim Webb and Republican George Allen. [WP]
• The United States will be in Iraq forever. [WP, WT]
• “Polls of white evangelical Protestants show that their support for the Republican Party grew substantially from 1999 to 2004, then began a steady decline.” [Time]