george h. w. bush
Toilets Fail On Fancy New George H.W. Bush Aircraft Carrier
America’s greatest president was George H.W. Bush (the old one), because he bombed a lot of Mexicans somewhere, Panama maybe? Oh and one time he had a war in Iraq, but that was lame because it only lasted a few days and didn’t kill a million people and there was no Abu Ghraib torture pornography. [...]
George H.W. Bush a Scooter Person Now
George W. Bush’s father: I have a form of Parkinson’s disease, which I don’t like. My legs don’t move when my brain tells them to. It’s very frustrating. But I am in no pain, and I have discovered the amazing scooters, which Barbara accuses me of driving like I drive my boat. But they help [...]
Sarah Palin Demands Gazillion-Billion Dollar Cuts To Everything
Sarah Palin told Sean Hannity that she is embarrassed for Republicans — embarrassed! — because they are so squeamish about cutting the budget. What a bunch of faeries! “We need much greater cuts,” said Sarah, in the most unspecific and worthless way possible. “Republicans need to be bold and strong and they need those steel [...]
University of Arizona Creating ‘Civility Institute’ To End Politics Forever
The University of Arizona has a website, where you can find out “more” about its academics. Like this: It lists two separate “Dance” departments, but only has a single, combined “French And Italian” department. Oh, and they also have a “School of Dance” on top of it all. But if there’s one academic concentration that [...]
FBI, Entire Republican Party Thought Jack Kemp Was Totally Gay
According to “files obtained by Salon,” 1996 Republican vice-presidential candidate Jack Kemp was investigated by the FBI because everyone thought he was really, really gay. So score one for Salon’s crack investigative team, we guess, for finally bringing down that dead guy who lost his election 14 years ago. The FBI looked into the matter [...]
Maureen Dowd Wrote Something Mostly Good, With Gnomes!
It is easy to lampoon Maureen Dowd when she churns out her usual nutty brew of redonkulosity. But our work becomes ever so slightly more difficult when she types an “acceptable column.” And it is nearly impossible to make fun of her when she writes a genuinely good column, the kind that is actually about [...]
Someone Still Hasn’t Gotten Over George Bush Senior’s 1991 SOTU
Uhh, here’s some hippie with a camera supposedly yelling at George Bush Senior within the friendly environs of a neighborhood pizza joint, but do you actually see him anywhere in this video? Didn’t George Bush Senior die recently anyway? Oh nevermind, we’re thinking of Bob Dole. [HuffPo]
Poppy Bush Jumps Out Of Plane To ‘Celebrate’ Birthday
George H.W. Bush periodically flings himself out of planes to mark the passing of another depressing half-decade in the twilight years of a disappointed old man whose presidency fell squarely into the “unimpressive” column until his son’s presidency showed us what unimpressive was really all about. What this troubled senior needs is not a squad [...]
Hey Look, It’s George Bush Senior Bangin’ Some Lady
HMM. And what is with the clown socks? [TMZ]
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