Wonkette

Paul Bremer and Dennis Kucinich are totally deluded, Patrick McHenry and George Will are likely quaaluded, David Wu and Bradley Whitford are enrapt, and Helen Thomas is trapped — going to the same restaurants she’s been going to since her 60’s, or the 60’s, whichever.

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* Deputy National Security Advisor Elliot Abrams’ eyebrow grooming lets you know where he stands in the War on Christmas. [Firedoglake]
* No fashion trend is completely over until it’s both available at Suburban Outfitters and held in contempt by right-wing blogs. [Atlas Shrugs]
* George F. Will thinks You are a narcissistic blowhard. [Think Progress]
* Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is no longer championing the dispossessed, “Being a global everyman is for suckers.” [Bizzy Blog]
* With Evan Bayh out of the race, John Edwards targets voters determined to vote pretty. [Potomac Flacks]
* Pope Benedict is a gay. [Boozhy]
* Charlie Crist adds the shitstorm that Florida faces after Castro’s death to the list of things he’s in denial about. [St. Petersburg Times]

In another August “where’d everybody go” edition of Wonk’d we found Bill and Chelsea Clinton shopping for “MV” stickers and James Carville and Mary Matalin trying not to get stuck in DC. At right, Eleanor Clift looks lost too. If you’re caught here and can’t escape, take a cue from Joe Lieberman and enjoy yourself with a nice long lunch somewhere nice. Because, just like Joe, come November you might just miss this place after all.

Today’s Wonk’d is two weeks worth of sightings that we saved up and couple we had ourselves. We know you can do better. Please suppress thoughts like “Oh, Wonkette won’t care about him, he’s not even in office anymore.” Trust us, we want to hear about it. Just send over a little email with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line and the name of the person who wouldn’t make a sightings column in any other city. For scraping the bottom of the barrel, we thank you.

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Editors’ note: Don’t miss Ana Marie Cox’s Washington Post live chat, starting today at 11:30 AM. You can access it here, where you can also find a link for submitting questions to the Original Wonkette about BlackBerry disaster averted. Happy chatting!

Chatology this week slightly enlivened by the appearance of Stephen Colbert, though it was offset by Chairman of Joint Chiefs Peter Pace doing a half-Ginsburg; he has the kind of whispery monotone that made us fall asleep during filmstrips in health class. Most notable segment: Bill Kristol channeling Arianna Huffington in his disappointment in the administration, causing massive freakout on the Fox set and Chris Wallace to utter the Quote of the Week: “My whole universe has been rocked.”

Top topics: Potential (or ongoing?) civil war in Iraq; Katrina tapes; Dubai port deal.

One hit wonders: Two hits for the criminal investigation into Pat Tillman’s death (MTP and FNS); Oscar talk on “This Week”

Quotes to live by:
• Stephen Colbert on his Oscar expectation: “a lot of jokes [about] abortion… it’s a funny word, like guacamole.”
• Peter Pace moderates his view on Iraq: “I wouldn’t put a great big smiley face on it.”
• Juan Williams on DHS/FEMA infighting: “I’m going to put that off to two big boys having something in the back yard.” Well, someone saw “Brokeback Mountain.”

Full coverage continues after the jump.

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