Tag Archives: george bush

  rumors on the internets

George Bush Back In Haiti, And This Time He’s Wearing Gloves!

Matt Yglesias illustrates the ironic nature of our permanent occupation of Iraq with a special Alanis Morissette song! [Matt Yglesias] Remember Dan Maes, the Colorado Tea Party man who exposed the U.N. conspiracy that would have forced the entire city of Denver to ride around on an enormous Tandem bicycle? Dan Maes’ comments were taken out of context, actually. But Dan Maes is still concerned that bicycles are unconstitutional, because let’s face it, they probably are. [Think Progress] Read more on George Bush Back In Haiti, And This Time He’s Wearing Gloves!…
  rumors on the internets

George Bush Would Drink Another O’Douls If He Really Had To

The Ohio Senate has had it up to here with all the humanoid-animal demon beasts manufactured almost every day in Toledo petri dishes. [Hit & Run] George Bush loved waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. It was his favorite thing to do with Khalid, although they also had a lot of fun clearing brush together. [Think Progress] Read more on George Bush Would Drink Another O’Douls If He Really Had To…
  rumors on the internets

Help Rush Limbaugh Flee the Country?

Watch closely as RedState concludes what health care reform is really about (Hint: commie mind control!). [RedState] John Boehner is featured in a hot new will.i.am remix by DJ Librul, and Boenher’s melodic screaming doesn’t even require “the auto-tune!” [AMERICAblog] Read more on Help Rush Limbaugh Flee the Country?…
  wagg the bog

Marco Rubio Downloads Sarah Palin’s Brain Torrent, And The RNC Goes Green

In an effort to reduce its carbon footprint, the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE has pledged to recycle smear campaigns and political spin! Yes, MICHAEL STEELE has finally done it! He’s bringing back all your favorites: “flip-flopper” … WILLIE HORTON … “cut and run” … “Why did the Democrats flip-flop and let Willie Horton cut and run?” This is an important question Michael Steele will inevitably ask in the days to come. Read more on Marco Rubio Downloads Sarah Palin’s Brain Torrent, And The RNC Goes Green…
  rumors on the internets

William Wallace (Mel Gibson) Will Eat Your Intestines, For Daring To Criticize Scotland

Whether he was clearing brush at his ranch or choking on a pretzel, George Bush was known to sport his silkiest ascot, his most posh plaid cummerbund. Say what you will, but the man was a snappy dresser. And Barack Obama? He prefers “Islamo-fascist business casual.” [Think Progress] Read more on William Wallace (Mel Gibson) Will Eat Your Intestines, For Daring To Criticize Scotland…
  rumors on the internets

Health Care? Don’t You Mean DEATH CARE?

Your name is John Ashcroft, and you are in the hospital recovering from life-saving surgery that replaced your gallbladder with a pig’s heart. It’s a good thing you have so many caring friends! Tom Ridge sent you a bald eagle named Freedom, and Karl Rove gave you a beautiful bouquet of fired US attorneys — put those in a vase! And George Bush, well, he personally delivered something very special to your bedside, while you were napping. [TPM] Read more on Health Care? Don’t You Mean DEATH CARE?…
  things people will regret writing

‘Star Trek’ Movie Sparks Massive Nerd War On Political Internet

You may have read on the Internet that this week’s big movie release is the “new” original Star Trek movie, and it is going to make millions of dollars. It is the latest manifestation of Hollywood studios’ race to abandon all creativity: after a popular movie series like Batman or Superman has run its course, just start over and make the first one again. Critics then praise the director’s “new vision,” and political writers note that all of the characters are famous politicians, secretly, in real life. Everyone remembers last year’s important Wall Street Journal column, “George Bush Jr. Is The Bat Man.” This year’s version? “Barack Obama is the Spock.” Steady yourself… Read more on ‘Star Trek’ Movie Sparks Massive Nerd War On Political Internet…
  rumors on the internets

Nancy Pelosi’s Sinister Hell-Cat Is Trying To Start Something With The British

Ooh, big day for George Bush today, when he will be informed that despite whenever epigram he was forced to write out 100 times in Dick Cheney’s Schoolmaster Assistant Spellings & Geographies Primer, there is a difference between “authoritative” and “authoritarian.” [Daily Intel] Read more on Nancy Pelosi’s Sinister Hell-Cat Is Trying To Start Something With The British…
  where are they now?

George Bush Is President Of College

Ha ha ha, so incredibly stupid, but here we are, LAUGHING. If you’d like to know the context of this amazing still — and we certainly don’t — you can read more here. Something about a brawl at “Cheyney” University. Really. [Philadelphia Will Do, ABC 6 Philadelphia] Read more on George Bush Is President Of College…
  what do you want now

Liveblogging George Bush Junior’s Victory Lap To America

Ughh… people have asked for a drinking game for George W. Bush’s farewell address, which this liveblog will “cover” (as in, “maybe watch.”) Well here’s your game. Drink. Drink constantly. Locate alcohol and imbibe as rapidly as possible. YOU MUST DRINK, IT IS GEORGE BUSH JUNIOR COMMANDING RESPECT. SAVE YOURSELF. DRINK SOME ALCOHOL YOU IDIOT. DRINK VINEGAR AT THE VERY LEAST. Read more on Liveblogging George Bush Junior’s Victory Lap To America…
  cartoon violence

Everything Is A Terrifying Nightmare

By the Comics CurmudgeonRemember a couple of months ago, when everything was all Hope this and Change that and Yes We Can whatever, and you thought that everything was going to be all sweetness and light from here on in? FOOLS! Little did you know that the nightmare would just go on, forever and ever, like a never-ending mescaline trip. Brace yourselves for the horror show that launches 2009, with waves of human-animal hybrids and Dick Cheney’s bosoms! Read more on Everything Is A Terrifying Nightmare…
  rumors on the internets

Charlie Crist Delights In Madrid And Its Minibars

Instead of fixing Florida’s terrible economy, Charlie Crist spent a quarter of a million dollars in sunny Madrid, including $1,300 on a minibar tab, presumably immediately preceding sex with his fiance, a known woman. [Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Charlie Crist Delights In Madrid And Its Minibars…
  uncreditworthy customers

Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas

Can you even believe this George Bush. While all of you people and everyone else are having your homes foreclosed by the Subprimes, PRESIDENT MONEYBAGS over here and his smoker wife “Laura” are going to *buy* a home, to *live* in. “Laura Bush confirmed that she and the President are buying a house in Dallas, about two hours from his beloved Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas.” Superfluous! Read more on Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas…
  this is sort of sad

Bush Horribly Unpopular At G20 Summit

What is up here? George Bush is not shaking anybody’s hand, nobody’s shaking his hand, it is an international diplomatic crisis! It will be nice to have a President whom the leaders of other nations do not find so physically revolting they can’t stand to touch him briefly. [YouTube] Read more on Bush Horribly Unpopular At G20 Summit…
  rumors on the internets

Bitter Michelle Malkin Is Looking For Something To Cling To!

Here is your President — ha ha, no, the other one: “George” — congratulating Barack Obama. [Ben Smith] Hysterical manchild Eric Cantor, whose feelings were hurt by terrible bully Nancy Pelosi, is throwing his name into the House Republican Whip hat. [RedState] Read more on Bitter Michelle Malkin Is Looking For Something To Cling To!…
  our flourishing economy

Liveblogging George W. Bush Telling The Nation Not To Freak Out

Oh this is hilarious, on CNN we have a split screen with Barry finally laying out his detailed, comprehensive policy proposal on the left, and on the right we have a bunch of sad orange roses waiting for George Bush to stomp all over them. Read more on Liveblogging George W. Bush Telling The Nation Not To Freak Out…
  our flourishing economy

Plunging Markets, Blah Blah Blah

Well good morning to you! The Dow dropped over 660 points after opening, which is to say, it’s just another beautiful day on Wall Street. Our president, George W. Bush, will once again scurry out of his spider hole to choke out a few brief words about our flourishing economy before he glimpses his shadow and disappears for another six weeks. So of course we will liveblog all 90 seconds of his remarks, so stay tuned! [Yahoo Finance] Read more on Plunging Markets, Blah Blah Blah…
  rumors on the internets

A Day For New Lows!

The Department of Homeland Security just began its new $634 billion dollar satellite surveillance program, despite some Democrats prattling on about how this thing violates “civil liberties” and “the law” or some such. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on A Day For New Lows!…
  the new depression

Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Mumble Some Stuff About The Economy

America’s president, George W. Bush, was supposed to go to a fundraiser today but he had to stay home and send Dick Cheney in his stead to stand around the buffet table and shovel shrimp cocktail into his pockets. Why? Because of the economy, which George Bush is “concerned” about! He even talked about it, on the teevee. Read more on Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Mumble Some Stuff About The Economy…
  no american is safe

Downtrodden Texans Brace For Next Horror

Yay it’s your weekly CNN headline funny! Pack up all your worldly belongings, board up the windows, and kiss your nice pets goodbye forever. Hurricane Ike sucked, but it’s nothing compared to this fearsome “Bush,” which destroys literally everything it touches. [CNN] Read more on Downtrodden Texans Brace For Next Horror…