george bush
Circuit Court Judge Edith Jones: How Can I Be Impartial When Everybody Knows Blahs And Browns Are Violent Thugs?
You guys, have we ever turned you on to Fifth Circuit Judge Edith Jones? We mean, have you ever really listened to her, man? She’s a trip. Such big hits like “Scream At Fellow Judges During Oral Arguments,” the evocative “Supreme Court is the Source of Moral Decay,” the ear-worm “If You’re Not Actually Raped No [...]
George W. Bush Will Paint You Like One Of His French Girls
Less than ten years ago, President George W. “W.” Bush was pulling down Saddam Hussein statues and landing Mission Accomplished jets on things. Now, according to a new profile, he spends his time painting pictures of puppies. Alas, poor Yorick! Many former presidents, isolated by their notoriety, have famously taken up solitary hobbies: Thomas Jefferson [...]
Obama Begs South Korea To Buy Gross Beef At Sinister G-20 Summit
Barack Obama met with other Muslim world leaders in South Korea for the infamous G-20 economic summit, which is sort of like Bohemian Grove except Alex Jones is actually invited. (Who else is going to negotiate favorable Prison Planet DVD exchange rates?) Usually these economic summits are “trade this” and “currency that” and “blah blah [...]
Saddam Hussein Donates Handgun To George Bush Museum Exhibit
What has George Bush been doing lately, besides saying stupid things for lots of money, and trying his hardest not to choke on a pretzel stick? He has been working hard on a museum exhibit, which will feature Saddam Hussein’s gat. When did George Bush decide he was going to get all artsy-fartsy and start [...]
Do Not Read Donald Rumsfeld’s New Memoir
Donald Rumsfeld’s memoir will be published in January. Don’t read it: “Known and Unknown,” being published by Sentinel (an imprint of Penguin), refers to Rumsfeld’s explanation in 2002 for the lack of evidence that Iraq was supplying terrorists with weapons of mass destruction. “Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, [...]
George Bush Is Not Muslin, Therefore, ‘Vindicated’
RedState is spanking itself gleefully with a cinnamon-scented paddle because George Bush has been vindicated, and also everyone wants to know what he thinks about the atrocious Ground Zero Mosque. [RedState] Oh look: George Bush has commented on the 9/11 Mosque. His take: “Cordoba whaa?” And then he choked on a pretzel stick. Kaboom, vindicated! [...]
George W. Bush Volunteers For Another Icky Hand Job
We are fairly certain that George W. Bush is currently touching stuff in Haiti, but new photos have surfaced that suggest maybe he is also still in Texas shaking hands with troops returning from war, via CNN Hologram. Isn’t it special that George Bush is willing to touch other people, even though he hates it [...]
George Bush Back In Haiti, And This Time He’s Wearing Gloves!
Matt Yglesias illustrates the ironic nature of our permanent occupation of Iraq with a special Alanis Morissette song! [Matt Yglesias] Remember Dan Maes, the Colorado Tea Party man who exposed the U.N. conspiracy that would have forced the entire city of Denver to ride around on an enormous Tandem bicycle? Dan Maes’ comments were taken [...]
Marco Rubio Downloads Sarah Palin’s Brain Torrent, And The RNC Goes Green
In an effort to reduce its carbon footprint, the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE has pledged to recycle smear campaigns and political spin! Yes, MICHAEL STEELE has finally done it! He’s bringing back all your favorites: “flip-flopper” … WILLIE HORTON … “cut and run” … “Why did the Democrats flip-flop and let Willie Horton cut and run?” [...]
Health Care? Don’t You Mean DEATH CARE?
Your name is John Ashcroft, and you are in the hospital recovering from life-saving surgery that replaced your gallbladder with a pig’s heart. It’s a good thing you have so many caring friends! Tom Ridge sent you a bald eagle named Freedom, and Karl Rove gave you a beautiful bouquet of fired US attorneys — [...]
‘Star Trek’ Movie Sparks Massive Nerd War On Political Internet
You may have read on the Internet that this week’s big movie release is the “new” original Star Trek movie, and it is going to make millions of dollars. It is the latest manifestation of Hollywood studios’ race to abandon all creativity: after a popular movie series like Batman or Superman has run its course, [...]
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