Hello, people who are suddenly seeing famous-for-D.C. people everywhere in town all of a sudden! We like this, we like it very much. So this week, enjoy the voyeuristic fun of seeing James Carville, George Allen, lovebirds Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich, Keith Olbermann, Martin Sheen and many more, after the jump.
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Former Virginia Sen. George "Macaca" Allen filled out an NCAA Tournament bracket, and it is pretty, and he will share it with the world! Allen, however, is incapable of performing even the simplest tasks without being comical. He predicts #5 seed Notre Dame will beat #12 George Mason, but that is way too politically risky for his already destroyed political career in Virginia. So he scribbles in the margin, "tho for George Mason," so you know where his heart is. And for #7 Gonzaga versus #10 Davidson, he predicts Davidson, against all mathematical odds! To highlight this brilliant prophecy, he writes "upset pick" in the margin. It seems he's using all this free time to finally pass the first grade. [Full-size here]
The Republican party finds itself in a pickle this political season: how to point out subtle differences between John McCain and his future Presidential opponent without saying unpleasant words like “black” or “woman.” Several party leaders have already come up with brilliant solutions, revealed after the jump.
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MACACA!: The big John McCain speech at CPAC — where conservatives might boo him — is being introduced by none other than America’s Racist, former Sen. George “Macaca” Allen.
He was our greatest governor (of Virginia) and our greatest American senator. He loved the Confederate Flag, holding footballs, and terrorizing the Negroes. Also, he was photographed astride a horse, so he was obviously the new Ronald Reagan and was supposed to have an easy ride to the White House this year. But this legacy of greatness was destroyed by idiot liberals who had to make a big deal of his casual racism.
George “Macaca” Allen, the former Virginia governor and senator famous for hating brown people, is helping out the Fred Thompson campaign, proving that when it comes to lazy, stupid ex-senators, things work better in pairs.
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Reader C.J. writes: “OMG its George Allen With his wife at Austin Grill in Old Town. Right now. Both of them are having beers which is actually kinda awesome. NO VISIBLE FOOTBALL. Man oh man….Mrs Allen is a total SWILF!!!! Damn.”
The most prominent Republican official to show up at Tubby Falwell’s funeral was the Virginia attorney general — because not even God ‘n Country GOPers want to be associated with somebody as toxic as Revered Jerry, even when he’s dead. There’s a general election coming up in 2008, after all!
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Word on the street was that ex-Senator (but eternal Macaca) George Allen was one step away from having to hock his beloved football in order to keep his family solvent. Fortunately, he’s now been able to find part-time work at the bafflingly named “Young America’s Foundation,” which bought Ronald Reagan’s ranch and is turning it into a “schoolhouse for Reaganism,” which is clearly code for “cult compound.”
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If you take a cop’s parking space in Washington, he will leave a neatly typed note on your windshield blaming the liberals in Congress and wishing you would behave like the nice white heterosexual George Allen supporters in Virginia. And then he has your car towed. And planted with drugs.
Wonkette
