Tag: george allen

‘Democrat’ Jim Webb Pretty Sure It’s CNN’s Fault He’s Not Going To Be President

Hey, all you-all, let's all point and laugh at this crybaby loser dick-mold Jim Webb boo-hooing all over himself because he losered the Democratic debate on Tuesday night: “It was rigged in terms of who was going to get time...

‘Macaca’ Legend George Allen Determined To Destroy Wonkette By Being Boring

"George Allen" is one of the names inscribed in gilded letters in Wonkette's Book of Legends. For those of you too young to remember, he was a senator from Virginia and considered a viable candidate for the Republican nomination...

George Allen Again Victimized by Functioning Video Camera (VIDEO)

Past and future failed Senate candidate George Allen held a Facebook town-hall with Virginia shut-ins and others who could not click the "X" button in time. Okay, wait. Were we not explicitly promised that the 2006 clip of Allen...

Unliked Racist Weirdo George Allen Inventing All His Endorsements

Used condom George "Macaca" Allen has given humanity so many reasons to find him revolting that he is of course currently leading the pack of Republican primary candidates for the Virginia Senate race. But just to be extra sure...

George Allen Keeps Asking Black Reporter What ‘Position’ He ‘Played’

Oh for fuck's sake. Does George Allen think the problem with his last Senate race is he didn't say "Macaca" enough? Well, he's starting early this time! According to the Washington Post, local NBC anchor/reporter Craig Melvin is tall...

A Children’s Treasury of CPAC Stupidity: the Final Chapter

Today was probably our last day at CPAC, an awful concentration camp of concentrated awfulness. But every winding Ron Paul book-signing line has to end somewhere, and we're sure these folks are glad to be rid of us too....

BREAKING: Jim Webb Not Running For Re-Election; Photo of Rooster Confirms

Brave Macaca hero Jim Webb has bravely decided to give up even trying to run for re-election to the U.S. Senate against half-witted football man George Allen. We can confirm this because the photo for this story on Google...

George Allen Returns To Politics, Severed Deer Head Found In VA Family’s Yard

Hours before George Allen announced his return to politics in Virginia, the insane football-cradling horse-riding racist was apparently back to his foul old tricks. A family in Arlington discovered the severed head of a deer tossed in their backyard. While...

Macaca Returns: George Allen Running For Senate Again

Still bummed out over America's comedic loss of Christine O'Donnell? Relax! There's always another Top Tier Clown that will emerge to provide the laughs in the next election cycle. And the 2012 Humor Olympics have begun, because George Allen...

George Allen Going To Bring His Football Back To the Senate, Macacas

Virginia's George Allen may be the most brilliant legislator to ever play with a football on the Senate floor, but unfortunately, he also likes to use old-timey racial slurs of which nobody has ever heard, so he was defeated...

George Allen Totally Loves Being a Jew Now

George Allen, remember all the fun we had with that guy? Remember when he found out his mother was secretly Jewish and then he had a big freakout when someone asked him about it? And then he lost...

THE ONE MAN WHOSE OPINION COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING: "In a conference call with reporters today organized by the Republican Party of Virginia, Allen blasted the 'Obama-Pelosi' health care initiative an expensive experiment that Virginians don't want." Hooray!...

George Allen ‘Writing’ Book Seemingly Targeted At 8-Year-Old Boys

Likely GOP nominee for president in 2008 and self-loathing Virginian Jew George Allen has landed hisself a fancy book deal, following in the footsteps of his idol, Ken Layne. It is titled The Triumph of Character: What Washington Can...

Fat Unemployed Adulterer Criticizes Sotomayor, On Twitter

Hmm, yeah, why *didn't* Barack Obama pick George Allen instead, since racism seems to be the soup o' the day? No person in history has been shat upon more than the white land-owning male.

Republicans Announce Racial Hero George Allen Will Perform Minority Outreach

Remember hilarious football-holding horse-riding racist dildo George Allen? He was supposed to be the "new Ronald Reagan," but the Daily Kos or whatever videotaped him calling a fellow of Indian ancestry some kind of African monkey. Next thing you...

Asian-American Obamatards Celebrate ‘Macaca’ Anniversary

Today marks the two-year anniversary of The Macaca Incident, in which Virginia Republican Sen. George Allen, a then-likely 2008 presidential nominee, called a Jim Webb spy "macaca" -- which is like the ersatz "n*****" in certain tropical parts of...