Tag Archives: genocide

  The Origin Of Specious

Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed

We have no context for this image. But Charles Darwin WILL learn you on this.
If it’s Sunday, it must be time for another foray into the mind of Colorado radio man o’ God and homeschooling big wheel Kevin Swanson, the genius who warns that the Girl Scouts are communist lesbians whose cookies fund abortions and lesbianism, although we aren’t sure why lesbians are having all those abortions anyway. We’ve been delving into Swanson’s 2013 freshman term paper book Apostate: The Men Who Destroyed the Christian West, a sloppy little history of the ideas and thinkers who have been ruining Western Culture by making it what we think of as “Western Culture.” Last week, we learned that Karl Marx was a monster who starved his children (no he wasn’t) and who was driven by actual contact with demons. This week, it’s Charles Darwin’s turn to get Swansoned, although we suppose it’s possible that even after Apostate has completely dismantled him, Darwin may still be considered important, because people are just that stubborn and prone to evil. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Charles Darwin Was A Very Bad Man, A Very Bad Man Indeed…
  clipbait

John Oliver Wonders Why We’re Still Bothering With Columbus Day (Video)

We actually remember this part
Happy Native American Genocide Day, Blame-America-First crowd! John Oliver and Last Week Tonight have this happy little video asking the important question: How is Columbus Day still a thing? It’s a solemn commemoration of mattress sales and “turning up to an unexpectedly closed post office and going, ‘Oh yeah. It’s Columbus Day. Shit.'” Read more on John Oliver Wonders Why We’re Still Bothering With Columbus Day (Video)…
  little big lies

Sundays With The Christianists: Smallpox-Infested American History Textbooks For Your Homeschooled Savages

Hey, history buffs, or historians in the buff as the case may be. After a brief detour into the novelistic sludge of America’s Greatest Artist, we’re back to our American History textbooks for the Christian school and homeschooling market. This week, once again, we’ve got a real contrast: someone seems to have let a real historian write the section on westward expansion in our 11th/12th-grade text from Bob Jones University Press, United States History for Christian Schools. For starters, it acknowledges that the “story of the American West” was not simply one of courageous settlers overcoming the obstacles they faced in order to build a new and better land. Unfortunately, there is a darker side to the story. As white men moved west, they clashed with the Indians, just as they had done since the days of the Jamestown colony in Virginia. It’s pretty much the equal of what you’d find in a secular textbook, with no attempt to whitewash the murderous realities, and a decided lack of oversimplifying. Great for kids reading this textbook, but sadly, pretty much nothing for us to mock here. Happily for our purposes, our other textbook, A Beka’s 8th-grade-level America: Land I Love, steamrolls over all the ickiness of the Indian Wars in a short section ingeniously headed “Problems of the Plains Indians.” You might get more accurate history from a random episode of F-Troop. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Smallpox-Infested American History Textbooks For Your Homeschooled Savages…
  lives of the scholars

Heavy Metal Preacher Bradlee Dean Warns Of Obama’s Plan to ‘Eradicate The Hispanic and Negro Race’

Longtime Wonkette frenemy and gift to satire Bradlee Dean took to the interwebs Saturday to share some insights on the “Sons of Liberty Radio” podcast, warning that Barack Hussein Obama is no friend of the dusky-hued races, nevermind what the lamestream media has brainwashed people to think: And do tell your black friends and your Hispanic friends, that the Obama Administration, through Planned Parenthood, is looking to eradicate the Hispanic and the Negro race. Hey friends, just saying, just ask Margaret Sanger, do a little homework friends. He probably also thinks that Obama seeks to eliminate the Chinaman, the Hindoo, and the Hottentot, while leaving America helpless in the face of the imminent Mahometan threat. Read more on Heavy Metal Preacher Bradlee Dean Warns Of Obama’s Plan to ‘Eradicate The Hispanic and Negro Race’…
  oh him again

Glenn Beck Exposes Obama’s Sinister Plot: WWII Memorial Closure First Step Toward Shooting Everyone Dead

Glenn Beck has this whole government shutdown thing figured out: unlike every other government shutdown that resulted in Washington DC museums and monuments being closed to the public, this shutdown is actually the first phase of a Marxist Communist revolution being plotted by a cabal of “Marxist revolutionaries” who have cleverly calculated Marxist Communist ways to “inflict the most pain” on all Americans. If you need proof, said Beck, just look at the World War II Memorial, which is not only closed, but actually has “armed guards around it.” “I want you to understand you are now seeing what I told you about three weeks ago. I told you they have gone from nudge to shove … Your next step is shoot.” Beck left out the minor detail that WWII veterans are being allowed to enter the memorial, because why would Marxist revolutionaries allow something like that? Read more on Glenn Beck Exposes Obama’s Sinister Plot: WWII Memorial Closure First Step Toward Shooting Everyone Dead…
  buggery

Very Intelligent White Supremacist Ginger Explains Homosexuality Is Genocide To Bunch Of Dumb Gays

Er, so, this nice fellow John King (not that John King) of SaveWhitePeople.com would like dykes and faggots to know, as he screams “faggots” at them, that it is because they are not having white babies that the white race is dying out. So we guess John King’s solution would be to forcibly impregnate all the lesbian handmaids? Read more on Very Intelligent White Supremacist Ginger Explains Homosexuality Is Genocide To Bunch Of Dumb Gays…
  Taxes are Gross!

Terrible New Tanning Tax Leads to Orange Riots, Insane Commentary

Yesterday Barry Obama’s tanning tax went into effect across the land, adding 10% to the cost of every tan. Why are we getting this tax again? Oh right, because Obama’s already tanned and doesn’t have to pay for his golden brown. Also, he ObamaCares about you getting cancer. But he doesn’t care at all about the nation’s tanning salon owners–who now face the death of their American dreams/“genocide.” Read more on Terrible New Tanning Tax Leads to Orange Riots, Insane Commentary…
 

Save the Kenyan Elephants!

If you haven’t heard, which most people haven’t, there’s a little situation in Kenya. It turns out that they just had “elections” and unsurprisingly their current dictator-esque guy, Mwai Kibaki, “won.” Protests originally led by the opposition, who were backing candidate Raila Odinga, have led to ethnic violence, charges of genocide, 100,000 people displaced and at least 300 deaths so far. But, you know, the media already did fucked up elections in a country filled with brown people last week, Darfur has given everyone Africa fatigue, no one’s killing the white people like Mugabe’s minions did in Zimbabwe so there’s no immediate, obvious hook except… the elephants! There are elephants in Kenya! If the violences gets really bad they might, um, like, lose habitat or something. So, save the elephants! Because then people might care enough to even pay attention! [Yahoo News] Read more on Save the Kenyan Elephants!…
 

The Turks are so angry that a House committee declared their 1915 massacre of 1.5 million Armenians a genocide, they’re going kill all the Kurds. [NYT]
 

White House Urges Congress Not to Learn From History

A House resolution that would recognize the 1915 Armenian Genocide as, well, a genocide is running into some problems: America’s strategic interests! You see, we are best (strategic) buds with the internationally despised Turks, because they let us use an air base. And as we all know, access to air bases trumps symbolic recognition of unthinkable acts of evil every time. Read more on White House Urges Congress Not to Learn From History…
 

Vampire Killer Ends Milosevic’s Political Career

Hoping to stop a Nixonian political comeback, a Serbian man went to the grave of war criminal Slobodan Milosevic on Saturday night and hammered a wooden stake through the dead strongman’s heart. Read more on Vampire Killer Ends Milosevic’s Political Career…
 

It’s an Interesting Defense, but a Bit Late, Innit?

Now look, ABC: we’ve known plenty of people who’ve taken drugs that do that, and they usually just end up babbling all night about Radiohead and going home with someone creepy — they don’t commit genocide, fer chrissakes. Read more on It’s an Interesting Defense, but a Bit Late, Innit?…