Tag Archives: general mills

  they're magically homolicious

Lucky Charms Totally Gonna Make Everyone Gay All Over Again This Year

It’s Pride Month, which means that it is time for us to talk yet again about how General Mills cereals are super duper gay. In 2012, we had some real heroes protest General Mills’s headquarters because they did not wish for the gays to burn in hell. In 2013, WND had to cry conserva-tears over the fact that Lucky Charms did a gay-loving ad. We’re sure they’re ramping up to cry hot thick tears of sadness again, because it’s time for that leprechaun cereal to get all gay again. Read more on Lucky Charms Totally Gonna Make Everyone Gay All Over Again This Year…
  food glorious food

You Can No Longer Sue General Mills Even If They Serve You A Big Bowl Of E Coli

Here at Wonk we’ve been a fan of Cheerios-pushing cereal maker General Mills, both because Cheerios are fucking great and because they love the gays. But we are not really into their latest thing, which is basically telling people that if they interact with them in any way online, they’ve given up their right to sue the company. General Mills […] has quietly added language to its website to alert consumers that they give up their right to sue the company if they download coupons, “join” it in online communities like Facebook, enter a company-sponsored sweepstakes or contest or interact with it in a variety of other ways. Instead, anyone who has received anything that could be construed as a benefit and who then has a dispute with the company over its products will have to use informal negotiation via email or go through arbitration to seek relief. That is, as we say in the law profession, some bullshit. Read more on You Can No Longer Sue General Mills Even If They Serve You A Big Bowl Of E Coli…
  stays fabulous even in milk

WND Has Hissy Fit Over Gay Marshmallow Rainbows In Crappy Leprechaun Cereal

Well here’s a fun story where we can enjoy saying the hell with just about everybody, yay! On the one hand, you’ve got General Mills, a soulless megacorporation that is, OK, slightly less awful than many, because gay-friendly policies and all, yes, very nice, and we can get behind that because good corporate citizenship and all, but then they also had this kind of cloying cheesy uber-branded promotion that’s supposed to be for “Pride Month” — but which they apparently only started promoting on June 28th — called “#LuckyToBe,” featuring rainbow-shaped marshmallows in their terrible Lucky Charms cereal. They even got a Belgian website so the URL could be “lucky.to.be,” which we suppose is maybe the most interesting fact in this story. Read more on WND Has Hissy Fit Over Gay Marshmallow Rainbows In Crappy Leprechaun Cereal…
  Burning Desire

What Are Humble Followers Of Jesus Burning To The Ground Today?

A portly neckbearded gentleman with a pink shirt and a blowtorch sets fire to a box of Honey Nut Cheerios to show General Mills that he does not care for its gay-friendly policies. It does not go quite as brilliantly as he planned, thanks to wind and highly flammable sugar. But what else has been set on fire lately? Well, what hasn’t? Read more on What Are Humble Followers Of Jesus Burning To The Ground Today?…
  they're after your lucky charms!

Hero Minnesotans Protest General Mills For Hating Straight Marriage, Call For Death To Gays

These nice protesters went to Betty Crocker Drive in Golden Valley, Minnesota, to throw all their Wheaties and Cheerios and Bisquick and Gogurt and Hamburger Helper and Pillsbury Crescent Rolls and Gold Medal flour and La Saltena spaghetti right in the face of stupid old General Mills, by collecting all General Mills’ products from their own kitchens and donating them to a food bank. Why the unexpected outbreak of Christian charity? Because General Mills stomped its giant foot down and interfered against the heroic fight to save heterosexual marriage from icky gays who should be put to death, when the company said, “hey, we think it’s important that Minnesota be inclusive and welcoming.” Judging by that statement, General Mills probably doesn’t even think that we should put homosexuals to death! We bet we know one group that no longer thinks corporations are people! Read more on Hero Minnesotans Protest General Mills For Hating Straight Marriage, Call For Death To Gays…
  this is no way to treat lobbyists

Free Cereal Money Abandoned Downtown

Wonkette trash-eating operative “Jeff” sends this curious lunch-break picture and writes, “It’s a $25,000 check from General Mills to the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute sitting [outside] a garbage can on 17th and K Streets.” This “Jeff” STUPIDLY did not take it, so it may be still there! Just take it to the bank and they’ll cash it, in Ameros. Read more on Free Cereal Money Abandoned Downtown…