Tag Archives: geeks

  By Grabthar's Hammer I will always be your friend

Obama Crosses Nerd Streams, Every Molecule Of Internet Explodes At Speed Of Light

President Obama’s reference to a “Jedi mind meld” at a press conference shook the geekosphere Friday, leading many to doubt his credentials as nerd in chief. Anguished tweets about the gaffe flooded the internet, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and refused to shut up. And Serious News Organizations carefully explained that in George Roddenberry’s Star Wars movies, a “Jedi Mind trick” is a means of using The Force to impose a Jedi’s will upon weak minds, whereas in Star Trek, a “mind meld” is a psychic joining of two consiousnesses, as practiced by the enigmatic Dr. Spock, who is a “Tribble.” Read more on Obama Crosses Nerd Streams, Every Molecule Of Internet Explodes At Speed Of Light…
  races that actually matter

Gingrich Declared Geekiest Candidate, Geek Population Promptly Dies Off

Newt “Skywalker” Gingrich has been declared the geekiest candidate of them all in a new six-page “study” conducted by Scientific American. The criteria? Obviously not intelligence, but rather knowing stuff about topics including guns, stars, the Internet and science fiction. SciAm finds that Gingrich vastly outdoes Romney (second place, bafflingly) and Paul (third) in these categories. All three candidates rank high largely because of “ties to Silicon Valley,” e.g. rich people with bold new visions of how to not have to hang out with other humans. Read more on Gingrich Declared Geekiest Candidate, Geek Population Promptly Dies Off…
  e-mail of the day

LOTR Nerd Blasts Your Wonkette For Disrespecting LOTR, Nerds

We didn’t know it was possible for someone who reads actual books and is a nerd to have bad grammar and spelling, but apparently it is, as one of them has written us to tell us that we committed “acts of common stereotyping” in our posts detailing Christine O’Donnell’s beliefs about Lord of the Rings. And then that guy “quoted” a series of racial and homophobic slurs for no reason at all. Surely that will make us feel bad for offending his non-sensical view of the world. Read more on LOTR Nerd Blasts Your Wonkette For Disrespecting LOTR, Nerds…
  dungeon masters

Nerd Community Nerdily Embraces Nerd President

Oh here’s John Hodgman, author of the weird and hilarious The Areas of My Expertise, who is apparently also a “minor television personality,” who knew?! And here is his very sly “roast” of the president, Barack Obama, at some event covered by C-SPAN. Worth watching just to see Obama cracking up over the hinjinx of the Birthers. Also, there are hobbit jokes. Basically, EVERY WONKETTE MEME OF 2008-2009 is in this John Hodgman routine. [C-SPAN/YouTube] Read more on Nerd Community Nerdily Embraces Nerd President…
 

Mitt Romney Doesn’t Care For Mr. Spock’s Love Life

Mormon-Scientologist Mitt Romney (pictured here with The Joker) was down at Regent University earning a master’s degree in Pretend World History yesterday, and he told an audience of future Monica Goodlings all about a crazy land called “France,” where the ladies wear no pants and people only mate every seven years on their home planet of Vulcan. Read more on Mitt Romney Doesn’t Care For Mr. Spock’s Love Life…
 

Edwards HQ Cyber-Vandals: Non-Partisan Pranksters

Despite the tragic whining on John Edwards’ blog, it turns out the cyber-virtual computer-world “Second Life” maniacs who let loose a “feces-spewing obscenity” on the handsome candidate’s cyber-virtual computer-world “Second Life” pretend campaign headquarters are not lonely Republican cyber activists. The hit on Edwards’ HQ had nothing to do with politics and everything to do with making the intolerable boredom of “Second Life” sort of funny. Webzine 10 Zen Monkeys reveals the gang behind the hit is notorious for pulling dadaist pranks on the nervous cyber-avatars who spend all their time buying virtual penises and having furry conventions and virtual orgies on pretend nude beaches. Meet the Patriotic Nigras: e-terrorists at large, after the jump. Read more on Edwards HQ Cyber-Vandals: Non-Partisan Pranksters…
 

Poll Results: Everybody Loses!

We knew as soon as we wrote yesterday’s poll that we’d made a fatal mistake. There was no way Katherine Harris could lose it. It’s our fault as much as hers – the poor woman can barely fire a campaign manager before we start alleging that she’s a bad candidate. So Harris won the poll with 42.7%. Ho-hum. What about the rest of the Worst Campaigners in America? At #2 with 17.8% of the vote, we’ve got Nassau County Executive Tom Suozzi (pictured above). The old trope about politics – “Hollywood for ugly people” – has rarely been as true as it is in New York, where this mutton-faced schlub is considered “dashing” and “handsome” and possessing “charisma to burn.” Tom’s problem: He believed his hype. So he ran against one of the most famous and popular men in American politics, Eliot Spitzer, on a platform of firing the rest of the state’s politicians and putting tolls on the Long Island Expressway. Somehow, he failed to get any traction whatsoever. Read more on Poll Results: Everybody Loses!…
 

’08 Straw Poll Results: Rudy Has the Geekiest Hair

Congrats to Rudy Giuliani on cleaning up in yesterday’s poll. As we can clearly see above, Rudy’s 1981 hair is easily geekier than Goerge Allen’s contemporaneous ‘do. We suspect the sky-blue three piece suit certainly helped with the overall geekiness, but there’s no denying that that’s a combover that could’ve taken home the prize on its own. Read more on ’08 Straw Poll Results: Rudy Has the Geekiest Hair…