Note to the wingnut American Spectator and wacky old Robert Stacy McCain: you have like… massive gay shit… all over your website. [American Spectator via gay Operative Ari]

Check out these idiots — or at least actors pretending to be idiots — from the comically named “National Organization for Marriage,” warning everyone that the fucking faggots are coming to eat and smash and feel up your christened conservative babies in Iowa and places! “There’s a storm gathering. The clouds are dark, and the wind is strong. And I am afraid.” Well maybe you shouldn’t stand in an open field during a lightning storm DUH. [YouTube]

Fat queer Mexican porn narrator Rick Warren is still trying to fix his “image” after saying that married gay people only want to fuck and gay-marry rabbits and elephants and children: “You know Larry, there was a story within a story that never got told in the first place. I am not an anti-gay or anti-marriage activist. Never have been, never will be. During the whole Proposition 8 thing, I never once went to a meeting, never once issued a statement. Never once even gave an endorsement in the two years Prop. 8 was going.” [OC Register, YouTube]

• IOWAN-STYLE GAY MARRIAGE COMES TO VERMONT: Activist legislators have introduced mandatory gay marriage in the seat of our democracy, the tiny rural New England state of Vermont. With heterosexual marriage officially Under Peril, we will leave it to Vermont’s judges to enforce the will of the people. [AP]

Terminally unemployed beer heiress Meghan McCain continues her very weird too-much-information blogging at Tina Brown’s secret charity project for the rich, The Daily Beast. Today, we learn how she is just not getting laid at all, and she is NOT turned on by Obama supporters (because they hate her fraud dad) but she is also not really charmed by GOP guys, because they’re all homos who will only date Meghan if she’ll dress like her mom — pearls, weird pants-suits, etc. — because all the closeted Republicans need somebody who looks kind of like that to be the “political spouse.” MORE »

Last night, Sean Penn won the Best Actor Oscar for his role as Harvey Milk, a dead gay politician, in the film Milk. GOOD FOR HIM. In his acceptance speech, Penn said, “I think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect, and anticipate their great shame, and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.” Immediately after hearing this, your Wonkette thought, Holy Poo, the conservative blog Big Hollywood is probably writing hilarious things, ha. Well, it was. MORE »

Utah state Senator Chris Buttars discusses THE GAYS: “They’re mean. They want to talk about being nice. They’re the meanest buggers I have ever seen… It’s just like the Muslims.” And the Muslims, they’re just like the mick papists, and everyone is black. Huh? MORE »

Hey guess what! All the news today is about the STIMULUS PACKAGE, which is too boring/complicated/serious to actually make jokes over. So it is with profound delight and relief that we find this utterly useless piece over in the New York Observer about how The Gays, as a monolithic group with a single well-defined set of tastes, all worship Andrea Mitchell, unequivocally. MORE »

OK here it goes, so stop sending the e-mails, please, about openly gay mayor Sam Adams of Portland, Oregon going “Full Portland” on a former male intern from his city commissioner days, who may have been 17 for like a day when they met. The HOOOOOT intern’s name is Beau Breedlove, which is hilarious, because he cannot breed. So now they will both go to jail for being gay. [Oregonian]

Hey wait a minute! You mean this Barack Obama, who was fairly liberal as an Illinois state senator, may have altered his position on such hot-button topics as gay marriage in order to become a more viable national candidate? It sounds crazy, but it just might be true! MORE »

Statistics freak Nate Silver was supposed to go away after the election, which he rigged with algebra or something in order to create the first black president, which is the ultimate political statistic, for masturbating. Now the fivethirtyeight.com sensation has a column in the gay fashion glossy, Esquire. It’s kind of interesting! Basically, Nate has figured out — using his patented number voodoo — that the worst people in America are literally disappearing, leaving a nation of sexy multi-racial city slickers who drive hybrids and do anal on first dates. MORE »