Tag Archives: gays

  The Gay Race War is real wait no it isn't

We Must Join With Ben Shapiro To Stop The Gays From Killing Again!

Oh look, it's the gays, taking away Ben Shapiro's freedom.
Oh look, it’s the gays, taking away Ben Shapiro’s freedom. Wednesday’s news was awful. Alison Parker and Adam Ward, a reporter and a cameraman with WDBJ-TV in Roanoke, Virginia, were murdered in cold blood, on television, for reasons we don’t fully know yet. The shooter, Vester Lee Flanagan, is dead now, by his own hand. We’ve already touched on how, for wingnuts without fully formed brains (looking directly at the men who suck Dead Breitbart’s corpse dick for a living, on the Breitbart website), the case is SOLVED, glory hallelujah, because the perp was black. Obviously, this is the beginning of the Race War. Obviously. Read more on We Must Join With Ben Shapiro To Stop The Gays From Killing Again!…
  New martyr same as old martyr

Another Court Tells Another Gay-Hatin’ Baker To Suck A Cake Froster

Probably what this dude's cakes look like.
Probably what this dude’s cakes look like anyway. The Colorado Court of Appeals has given another homophobe cake baker the gift of martyrdom and however many virgins fundamentalist Christian assholes get when they eat dirt and die. Oh no, the judges didn’t LITERALLY kill the baker, they just wrote a real mean ruling what says that Jack Phillips, owner of the Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado, did bad discrimination when he refused to put some of his world famous frosting on a gay cake, in a gay way, for a gay-marrying couple, and now he must REPENT! Indeed, all three judges on the panel agreed: Read more on Another Court Tells Another Gay-Hatin’ Baker To Suck A Cake Froster…
  Total RINO

Remember That Time John Kasich Said A Gay And Republicans Cheered?

What a RINO
  So here was a weird moment in Thursday night’s Republican debate! John Kasich, who is, science fact, a person running for the GOP nomination, was asked that typical Fox News Republican question: “If we put a gay on this stage right now, will you please beat him up?” And he wouldn’t do it! Instead, he said a big sorta nice thing about how he doesn’t PERSONALLY believe in gay-scissor-based marriage (right, like he even cares), but he would love his gay child, if he had one, AND he went to a gay wedding recently and ate all the gay cake, and it was just great. And then the Republican audience maimed him with the knives they keep in the hollow portions of their Bibles. Read more on Remember That Time John Kasich Said A Gay And Republicans Cheered?…
  But what does Kimmy Gibler think?

Kirk Cameron’s Idiot Sister Hates Gays Almost As Good As He Does

Screenshot from
Oh, DJ Tanner, how far you have fallen from your “Full House” days, when you were just an annoying teenager with a hot brother. Now your still-hot brother Kirk Cameron is creationist DSM-IV material, and you’re on “The View” for some fucking reason, using your “real name” Candace Cameron Bure, and oh look, you’re getting pretty good at being just as much of a blithering idiot as he is: Read more on Kirk Cameron’s Idiot Sister Hates Gays Almost As Good As He Does…
  Sometimes tears are funny

Mormon Dad Forgot To Teach Son To Hate Gays, Will Never Get His Own Planet Now

Girl that church has been gay forever.
Hey Wonk liberals, let’s listen to the NPR together while we drink our vegan kale lattes, shall we? Ooh, here is an NPR radio program about the Boy Scouts organization ending its ban on openly gay scout leaders. Is there a Mormon dad very upset about this, due to how the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints basically bought the Scouts a long time ago, and everything’s ruined now? There sure is! His name is Quin Monson, he teaches political science at Brigham Young University, and his son is a Boy Scout. Mr. Monson used to be one too! Let’s talk to him in our NPR drone voice about his feelings: Read more on Mormon Dad Forgot To Teach Son To Hate Gays, Will Never Get His Own Planet Now…
  Here let me yell at you

Boy Scouts Gay Now, Mormons’ Magic Underpanties All In A Wad

Finally legal
Hurray, the Boy Scouts of America have finally ended years of bigotry — sort of — by lifting the ban on gay adult scout leaders. We say “sort of” because individual church-led chapters still have the authority to decide they don’t wanna play by the rules and can instead continue being small-minded childish bigots, like they were promised by Jesus in the Bible. This came after former Defense Secretary and current BSA president Robert Gates explained how it was just fine for scout leaders to be gay, despite the fact that the very thought of that makes wingnuts like Bryan Fischer quiver in their fearful loin parts about how this is going to immediately lead to a buttsex infestation in an otherwise Christian organization. Read more on Boy Scouts Gay Now, Mormons’ Magic Underpanties All In A Wad…
  lol

Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody’s Been Waiting For

Not presidential material. Not Bobby Jindal either.
BREAKING NEWS! Gov. Bobby Jindal, who has basically ruined Louisiana, declared his candidacy for president of US America Wednesday afternoon, far too close to the city of New Orleans for anyone who actually loves that city. He had started off the week getting punched right in his junk by IBM, which had been nice enough to choose Baton Rouge for its new National Service Center. The company’s mood soured when Jindal decided he had to prove he was the gay-hatin’-est homophobe in all the land, by issuing an executive order giving Louisiana business owners the right to discriminate against gay people. That might work on the set of “Duck Dynasty,” but not in the grown-up world of big business. So IBM decided to cancel the big ribbon-cutting photo-op, the one Jindal could have used to show just how GOOD he’s been for Louisiana business. Read more on Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody’s Been Waiting For…
  Sue the bastard

Will Christian DJs Go To Hell For Celebrating 60-Year-Old Gay Dudes’ Birthdays?

Jesus was a party animal.
Time for a dispatch from the ever-changing, goalposts-moving definition of the phrase “religious freedom.” All these whiny bitchy wingnuts have been protesting that they DO NOT EITHER hate the gays, but it violates their Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs™ to do things like “participate in” gay weddings, by making cakes or flowers or pizzas for them. And if you make them do that, you are literally Holocausting them, and they know Jesus will send them right to hell for it, because Jesus Is Love. So here’s a story that will show y’all what a lie that is! Read more on Will Christian DJs Go To Hell For Celebrating 60-Year-Old Gay Dudes’ Birthdays?…
  fuckin' A

Rick Santorum: The Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Fist You With Your Own Moneys

All you have to do is look at this picture, and you will immediately lose your urge to bone people.
Just a few weeks ago, we were very excited to hear that the frothy mix of a man known as Rick Santorum was thinking of lubing up and sliding right into the 2016 Republican primaries, so that he could lose again, because his only known skill is losing. (He’s VERY good at it.) And now that day has come! Rick Santorum announced his candidacy for US American President Wednesday in Cabot, Pennsylvania, a state that fired his ass from being senator, by double digits. You are probably wondering what lovely things will be on his campaign platform. Will it be the thing about how you’re not really doing Jesus-approved sex, unless you are barebacking? Will it be about how much he despises Americans, for their erotic freedoms, which are obviously not as important as religious freedom? Will he ban all the abortions, to get revenge on his wife’s hot abortionist ex-lover? It is all of these things and more, we will tell you it now! Read more on Rick Santorum: The Only Presidential Candidate Willing To Fist You With Your Own Moneys…
  I'll take "false equivalency" for $500 Alex

Ted Cruz Wishes America Would Focus A Little Less On Buttsex, A Little More On ISIS

English lacks sufficient invective for this man
America, you have GAY SEX ON THE BRAIN. You are thinking about it right now, in fact! How else can Ted Cruz explain why everybody keeps asking him about things like “gay marriage” and “equality?” It’s obviously because The Liberals (read: everybody to the left of Ted Cruz’s dad and Genghis Khan) are just too busy thinking about guys boning each other to focus on the important stuff, like ISIS: Read more on Ted Cruz Wishes America Would Focus A Little Less On Buttsex, A Little More On ISIS…
  see you in court bitch

Totally Normal Nebraska Lady Would Like To See ALL GAYS In Court Right Now!

Yep, totally guilty of gayness. Not sorry.
Oh, our litigious society! Here is a lady you will want to get to know very well, named Sylvia Driskell, resident of Auburn, Nebraska, and if you are a gay homosexual, she’s gonna need you to appear in court and answer to her charges against you, because she has filed a federal lawsuit against ALL GAYS. She was probably sitting at the dinner table with her family and bitching about all ‘dem lezbo-fags for the eleventy-millionth time, when one of her weary family members was like “Well, why doncha make a federal case out of it, SYLVIA?” And she replied, “OKAY I WILL!” Read more on Totally Normal Nebraska Lady Would Like To See ALL GAYS In Court Right Now!…
  The new McCarthyism is just as gay as the Old McCarthyism

Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates’ Hidey-Holes

This time we'll burn the GAY witches!
It’s very tough to be a “family values” conservative these days! The Republican Party, for many years now, has viewed its wingnut anti-gay base as A Great Big Useful Idiot, so they all have a contest to see who can pay them the most lip service about God Hates Fags, and then they elect people who totally BETRAY THEM by failing to ban gays from even existing. Ken Mehlman used to run the RNC, and then he magically turned into a homosexual and now fights for so-called gay “marriage.” Laura Bush thinks it’s okay for the homosexuals to get married too! And do not even get them STARTED on Cindy and Meghan McCain, those gay-lovin’ bitches. So a group of wingnuts that calls itself the American Renewal Project has decided to go full McCarthy, investigating all the 2016 candidates, as well as their families and staff members, to see what kinda homosexuals and gay-lovers they’re hiding: Read more on Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates’ Hidey-Holes…
  we are worried he's holding back

CA Lawyer Who Wants To Kill All Gays Gets Poor Review From Ex-Boss (And Everyone Else)

But how can you fork a guy you've never met?
Remember that wild and crazy guy, Matt McLaughlin, the secret agent lawyer guy who filed a California initiative called the Sodomite Suppression Act? In case you’ve smoked too many drugs lately and don’t recall, this is the initiative that calls for the expulsion and elimination of all California gay queer sodomites by various means, up to and including “bullets to the head,” or whatever else is handy. Did they actually track him down? No, of course not, he’s got no online presence and seems to be an invisible human. They found one of his old bosses, though, and wow, that boss does NOT have kind things to say. Let’s meet Bruce C. Bridgman, attorney at law, who briefly employed McLaughlin in 2002: Read more on CA Lawyer Who Wants To Kill All Gays Gets Poor Review From Ex-Boss (And Everyone Else)…
  Roll back ... discrimination?!

Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson Won’t Sign Anti-Gay Bill As Is, Reports Walmart

Having learned nothing from the PR disaster in Indiana this week, the Arkansas legislature passed its own Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) on Tuesday, sending it to the desk of Republican Gov. Asa Hutchinson. The bill, HB 1228, is a close facsimile of the one signed by Gov. Mike Pence, and, just as in Indiana, has resulted in several corporations threatening to cease or reduce operations in the state. Read more on Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson Won’t Sign Anti-Gay Bill As Is, Reports Walmart…
  Pence is highly offended by all your rude comments about Indiana

Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence

The Indianapolis Star‘s Tuesday edition is a bit stunning, in that the entire front page is devoted to an editorial demanding that Indiana lawmakers “FIX THIS NOW.” They are of course referring to the Fuck The Gays law, signed by Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, which has single-handedly sent the state to number one on pretty much everyone’s list of “states where I do not wish to find myself stranded.” Read more on Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence…
  Nice Time kinda sorta maybe?

Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops

Helpful hints
  It’s not all bad news on the Religious Freedom front! Yes, Indiana is suffering under the weight of a dumb governor who signed a “religious freedom” bill explicitly designed so that the put-upon wingnuts of the state don’t ever have to look at gay people. And yes, many other states are currently considering similar laws. However, news comes today that there are three places where Republicans (!!!) are standing up and mouthing the words, “I do not want our state to be a national joke like Indiana.” It doesn’t necessarily mean the laws won’t pass — for every smart Republican there are exactly 7,000 stupid ones — but at least there is a glimmer of sanity on the horizon. Read more on Religious-Freedom-Curious States Maybe Rethinking That Now, Whoops…