Wonkette

“A campaign official for the Virginia Lieutenant Governor cancelled an order for 150 guidebooks to entertainment in Minneapolis-St. Paul after discovering they included a 6-8 page section for gay and lesbian nightclubs. …[The publisher's] website features information and listings for an array of nightlife activities for gays and lesbians in the Minneapolis area, including ‘queer speed dating,’ trivia night, and dildo bingo.” Aww, now the Lieutenant Governor will have to play dildo bingo by himself. Jesus never meant for this. [ABC News]

The Republican National Convention has brought truckloads of new visitors to the Twin Cities — and with every event getting canceled in honor of the poor black people who didn’t get killed in the hurricane yesterday, veritable dozens of GOP males were left in their swank hotel rooms with nothing to do. Let’s find out what happens when a bunch of closeted, discreet hairless dudes go looking for good clean fun on Craigslist … MORE »

Tree-destroying imperial corporation Hallmark recently decided to start selling same-sex wedding cards, because that’s something you can do in all of two (2) states now. In other words, the Hallmark company has just literally taken a piss on Jesus Christ’s tomb thingy. And guess who’s upset, yes, that’s correct, the mouth-breathing Fundies at the American Family Association, whose recent “Boycott McDonald’s” initiative produced some of the finest comedy in the history of the Internet. They have a petition site up now directed at Hallmark. “BoycottHallmark.com” doesn’t currently exist, but the AFA has bought the domain name and when it launches, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD let there be a comments section. [AFA, Examiner, Think Progress]

Oh look a gay person named Jonathan Crutchley, founder of some gay thing called Manhunt.net, has, er, maxed out a $2,300 donation to John McCain against Barack Obama. People have been sending us this tip like crazy, but whatever? Everyone knows that all gay people not named “Andrew Sullivan” hate Barack Obama for stealing the election from Queen Hillary. [Towleroad]

Homosexual Florida Governor Charlie Crist is getting married, to a woman, so he can be a real, live National Politician. And over the weekend, he announced that he and his “bride” have set a date! It’s December 12, a full 38 days after the election. In other words, they don’t have to plan shit unless he somehow wins as John McCain’s vice president, in which case they’ll actually have to go through with the awful stunt. [Orlando Sentinel]

It is not even a slow news day, but all the news is about tire pressure so kill us now. So we went to Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig’s webpage to see if anything gay was going on and lo and behold, everything gay was going on, in this one screen cap. What a frightening devil this one is, oh, what a terror. [Larry Craig]

Here’s a nice video from The Hill newspaper that shows fitness creep Richard Simmons annoying Capitol Hill for several hours yesterday. He testifies to a House committee about No Child Left Behind destroying public schools’ physical education programs, and he exercises with Hill staffers outside the building. For Republican Congressmen who could witness this from the Capitol’s bathroom windows, it was a dream come true. In this video, Simmons starts freaking out to Congress at :52, then ratchets it up at 1:15, then “climaxes” at 1:30. It is hilarious. This Hill reporter, Erica whatever, seems nice. [YouTube]

So of course these mouth-breathers running the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” program have a YouTube channel, how did it take us so long. Quick background for newcomers: a few Christian Fundamentalists are boycotting McDonald’s because this “restaurant” supports fags, the end. You can watch their funny one-minute trailer about Ronald McDonald molesting your children with his hamburgers, after the jump. MORE »

Sweet criminy, did Juan McCain send out a hot e-mail this morning or what: “It’s pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it’s a love affair. We want you to be the judge. We’ve compiled two videos of the more outrageous moments of this not so secret love affair.” Indeed, it’s very similar to the “secret love affairs” that John McCain had during his first marriage, and more recently too, and also with the media. MORE »

Senator Orrin Hatch is an old conservative Republican from Utah, the most conservative Republican state in the country: so it’s no surprise that in a moment of weakness the balladeer of the Senate would pen a sweet, romantic ode to one of his male colleagues. Apparently he is great pals with Ted Kennedy, whose battle with brain cancer compelled Hatch to write a ballad called “Headed Home.” But it is not about heads. MORE »