Tag Archives: gay marriage

  And everyone learned an important lesson that day

Rich Gay Republicans Very Sorry For Not Knowing Ted Cruz Is An A-Hole

Know your bigots
Last week we learned that while Ted Cruz is very No Homo, he’s quite curious about experimenting with gay bucks. Which is why he attended a Manhattan soirée hosted by (in)famous hotelier businessgays Ian Reisner and Mati Weiderpass, to mention that some of his best donors are gay and also, he would love his daughters even if they turned out to be lesbians (although whether he’d attend their lesbian weddings is still in question). Read more on Rich Gay Republicans Very Sorry For Not Knowing Ted Cruz Is An A-Hole…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  Sunday Gossip Hour

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People

Gossiping cat has thoughts to share.
Happy Sunday, Wonketariat! We hope this love note finds you fat and happy. We should take a moment before we go get ACTUAL brunch, to do internet brunch gossip about the Most Popular Stories of the week. You all were all over the place this week, with your favorites! Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People…
 

Ted Cruz Doesn’t Like Gays, Does Like Their Money

Just being a good Christian
Ted Cruz has made his position on gays quite clear: He’s against ‘em. His record of opposition to equality is extensive because if they want to be treated like human beings, they can just choose to Don’t Be Gay. He’s even called for a constitutional amendment to prevent the Supreme Court from ruling on marriage equality cases. When asked by radio host Hugh Hewitt whether he’d attend a gay wedding, he confessed that he’d never been invited to one (shocker), and then insisted that because he’s a Christian and loves everyone, just like the Bible says, the real issue is not how much he hates homos, but that the Constitution makes clear marriage is best left to the states, so long as those states don’t permit gay marriage because as a “constitutionalist,” he doesn’t believe in equality — or, as he calls it, the “radical gay marriage agenda” that’s persecuting Christians everywhere. Read more on Ted Cruz Doesn’t Like Gays, Does Like Their Money…
  nice time!

Sorry Nutbags, Even AZ’s Hard-Right Gov Thinks Keeping Foster Kids From Gay Homes Is Dick Move

We're fine with gay adoptions, but not with naming innocent children 'Arwen'
Is there a tinfoil hat shortage in Arizona? Republican Gov. Doug Ducey issued an executive order Wednesday rescinding a Department of Child Safety policy prohibiting legally married same-sex couples from adopting children or becoming foster parents, bringing actual state policy into line with a pledge Ducey had made last week to encourage more adoptions, regardless of whether adoptive parents were gay or straight. Read more on Sorry Nutbags, Even AZ’s Hard-Right Gov Thinks Keeping Foster Kids From Gay Homes Is Dick Move…
  this will totally work

Rep. Steve King Shows Gay Supreme Court Who Is The Very Straight Boss Of Them

Jesus
Rep. Steve King has introduced a completely new and different bill to stop the Supreme Court from forcing gay marriage on these United States in June. It is called the “Restrain the Judges on Marriage Act of 2015,” and it would make a law that says, whoops, sorry, if a case has “G-A-Y” and “marriage” in the title, judges aren’t allowed to hear it: Read more on Rep. Steve King Shows Gay Supreme Court Who Is The Very Straight Boss Of Them…
  Letters from a jilted lover

Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore!

Dang, still looks nothing like him.
Bobby Jindal, wingnut governor of Louisiana, is whining in a very public way. Why? Gays. Where? The New York Times. Jindal has penned an op-ed to let everybody know that, unlike those Republican pussies in Arkansas and Indiana, who caved to the unholy alliance of Big Business and Big Sodomy and signed watered-down Religious Freedom Restoration Acts (RFRA’s, as the kids call them on Snapchat) that don’t explicitly allow people with Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs to discriminate against gays and lesbians any old damn way they choose, he will be “holding firm against gay marriage.” In fact, that is the headline of his piece! Show us on the doll where the gays are bullying you, Governor Jindal: Read more on Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore!…
  also something something about transgender people using the bathroom

Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST

On May 12, voters in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, will vote on whether to repeal Ordinance 2223, an anti-discrimination measure protecting LGBT people. And of course, there is a group of pastors and assorted wingnuts who want to make sure their little oasis is protected from the scourge of gays, throat-cramming everybody with their “lifestyles” and their “marriages,” and from the transgender people, who insist on going to the bathroom, so they can do sexually predatory things to innocent women and girls. Read more on Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST…
  The new McCarthyism is just as gay as the Old McCarthyism

Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates’ Hidey-Holes

This time we'll burn the GAY witches!
It’s very tough to be a “family values” conservative these days! The Republican Party, for many years now, has viewed its wingnut anti-gay base as A Great Big Useful Idiot, so they all have a contest to see who can pay them the most lip service about God Hates Fags, and then they elect people who totally BETRAY THEM by failing to ban gays from even existing. Ken Mehlman used to run the RNC, and then he magically turned into a homosexual and now fights for so-called gay “marriage.” Laura Bush thinks it’s okay for the homosexuals to get married too! And do not even get them STARTED on Cindy and Meghan McCain, those gay-lovin’ bitches. So a group of wingnuts that calls itself the American Renewal Project has decided to go full McCarthy, investigating all the 2016 candidates, as well as their families and staff members, to see what kinda homosexuals and gay-lovers they’re hiding: Read more on Good Christians To Smoke All The Homosexuals Out Of 2016 Candidates’ Hidey-Holes…
  derp

Heritage Foundation: Gay Marriage Will Make All The Gross Spinsters Kill Their Babies. It’s Math!

Lesbian and/or baby-killer
According to the Heritage Foundation’s (LOL) “digital-first, multimedia news platform,” The Daily Signal, if the Supreme Court crams gay-marriage down our throats, as it is totally gonna do in June, that will make even more women do abortions. FACT. Gene Schaerr, a lawyer and former law clerk to Justice Antonin Scalia, has all the numbers and charts, and also the Netherlands, to prove it: Read more on Heritage Foundation: Gay Marriage Will Make All The Gross Spinsters Kill Their Babies. It’s Math!…
  S-M-R-T

Marco Rubio Is Not A Scientist, Is A Idiot

Geenyus
Marco Rubio — fresh young hipster candidate for A New American Century (that already started a decade and half ago, but he’s not a mathematician, man) — explained his views on climate change in an interview with Bob Schieffer on “Face the Nation” that is so painful, your ears will bleed, so if that’s not your thing, you can read our transcript (YOU’RE WELCOME) and let your eyes bleed instead. Read more on Marco Rubio Is Not A Scientist, Is A Idiot…
  Gay wedding nice time with Hillz!

Hillary Clinton Invited To Real Live Gay Wedding, Will There Be Pizza?

Look at this couple, just walking down the street in love like that's even normal.
Hillary Clinton announced Sunday that yeah, sure, she guesses she’ll go ahead and be president in 2016, not that it’s that important to her or anything. As we reported, her announcement video is terrible and un-American, as it features “regular people” doing “regular things,” like going back to work, graduating college and things like that. But her True Agenda is revealed when a man’s voice says, “I’m getting married this summer to someone I really care about.” The camera moves to footage of a man holding hands WITH ANOTHER MAN, which yr Wonkette has to admit is really kind of big and heartwarming and wonderful, since it’s the first time a presidential candidate with a shot of winning has started out the gate declaring support for the gay marriages. Read more on Hillary Clinton Invited To Real Live Gay Wedding, Will There Be Pizza?…
  Now how's about all you lezbogays get in the kitchen and make South Carolina a sammich?

South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can’t Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel

South Carolina woman no longer protected by the 14th Amendment, we guess.
The Supreme Court is planning to hear arguments at the end of April in Buttsechs v. Phyllis Schlafly (not what it’s really called), the case they will most likely use to permanently cram gay marriage into the throats and bottoms of all the American people. This means that everyone and their wingnut uncle is submitting an amicus brief that says either “here is why I want to be able to marry the person I love” or “God will bomb America with fire if we let those faggots destroy our way of life!” But the state of South Carolina has sent the Supreme Court a truly stunning love note, which essentially says that due to the 14th Amendment, they are TOO allowed to discriminate against the homosexuals. Why? Because the 14th Amendment says they can also clearly discriminate against ladies. According to this logic, ladies are just like gays, in that they are inferior to straight white Christian slaveowners, wait what? Read more on South Carolina Waves Constitution Around To Prove Gays Can’t Get Married And Ladies Are Chattel…
  Numbers don't lie

Americans Cool With The Gay Marriage, Don’t Care About Your Dumb Religious Freedom

Too bad, so sad
Awwwww, sad news for Bigot-Americans. Again: A majority of Americans believe businesses should not be allowed to refuse services based on their religious beliefs in the wake of controversies in Indiana and Arkansas over gay rights and religious freedom, a Reuters/Ipsos poll found on Thursday. […] Read more on Americans Cool With The Gay Marriage, Don’t Care About Your Dumb Religious Freedom…
  Jump in the pool -- the santorum's fine!

Frothy Rick Santorum Thinking About Lubing Up For 2016 Republican Primaries!

Santorum now available with SPF 45 protection!
Hurray, Rick Santorum is dipping his toes into the frothy fecal waters of the 2016 Republican clown car! Rand Paul and Ted Cruz are already in there, just splash, splash, splashing around, but Rick Santorum is not 100 percent sure he’s DTF yet, so he’s created a “testing the waters” account, just to see if maybe he might want to lose another Republican primary: Read more on Frothy Rick Santorum Thinking About Lubing Up For 2016 Republican Primaries!…
  The kids are all right

Catholic High School Teachers In Gay Trouble

Good way to get out of that Calculus exam.
The kids of Dowling Catholic High School in Des Moines seem pretty cool, for stinky teenagers. They have a substitute teacher they really like, Tyler McCubbin, who is engaged to be married to his boyfriend, in a gay way. Which is legal to do in Iowa. McCubbin was in line for a full-time position at the school, but was rejected because his big gay life, according to the Diocese, “was at odds with Church teaching.” This pissed the students off, so instead of taking it lying down, they decided to stage a walkout: Read more on Catholic High School Teachers In Gay Trouble…
  Pray the Cruz away

Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad

just lyin' with my mouth
Practically President Already Ted Cruz spent most of last week sadding over the decision by Arkansas and Indiana to amend their gay-hatin’ bills to say “but we don’t really hate The Gay, wink.” At a campaign event in Iowa, Cruz talked about how disappointed he is that those states’ RINO governors decided to give in to The Gay Agenda, and he also worried that the Supreme Court is going to do the same thing later this year (which it is),  insisting again that the Court does not have the authority to do that: Read more on Ted Cruz Will Repeal Supreme Court, Replace It With His Dad…
  What A Friend We Have In Cheeses

Wonkette Fires Gay For Freedom, Make Us GoFundMe Now

Something must be done about all this nondiscriminating!
Yr Wonkette was pretty impressed by the story of Memories Pizza, the brave little Christian-owned pizzeria in Walkerton, Indiana, which announced it would definitely not cater any gay weddings, no way, not ever. It was a pretty brave stance, considering that there are probably fewer gay weddings featuring pizza than there are sightings of the Loch Ness Monster in Death Valley. Read more on Wonkette Fires Gay For Freedom, Make Us GoFundMe Now…
  The Power Of Crust Compels Them

Indiana Pizzeria Will Do Anything For Love, But It Won’t Do That

Rejoice! For the dough is risen!
A Christian-owned pizza shop in Walkerton, Indiana, is reportedly taking a stand against providing pizzas for same-sex weddings, according to a completely straight-faced report from South Bend ABC affiliate WBND.* The owners of Memories Pizza insist they would of course serve any gay couples who came in to eat at the restaurant, but catering a wedding would be right out. It’s refreshing to see people willing to take a principled stand against probably nonexistent threats from Big Gay. Read more on Indiana Pizzeria Will Do Anything For Love, But It Won’t Do That…