Tag: gay

What are we supposed to do with these finger puppets? What are 'fingers' anyway?

Wonkagenda: Friday, August 12, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
Sit on it and spin, you orange baboon.

Donald Trump Loves The Gays So Much He Wants Them To Go Outside On This Nice Day

We sent Major Major Major Major to the Donald Trump Howler Monkey Circus stop in Atlanta! Word poop was flung!

Bigot Tennessee Therapists Can’t Wait To Screw The Gays For Jesus

Hey, here's a new and different kind of gay-hatin' law that just got signed in Tennessee! All over the country, we're getting used to laws barring transgenders from pee-pee time (for Jesus, and to protect YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS) and...
Bloody peasant!

Hey Dumbass! Prosecution Is Not Persecution: A Wonksplainer

There’s been a lot of yammering this week about a certain Kentucky lady who has been “air quotes” “persecuted” for her beliefs that Teh Gays can suck it, and not in the Dan Savage GGG way. But while she...
Sarah's "O" Face

The Fartknocker Report: Sarah Palin’s Empire Of Grift Crumbles Into The Eternal Sea

Sarah Palin has finally awakened from her long summertime slumber to publish new videos, hooray! We’ll get to the new video in a moment. But first: where has Governor Quitterface been these last couple weeks? Like migratory waterfowl before they...
Sadly, the horse is a homophobe and has collected $176K in a GoFundMe

Minnesota Cordially Invites You To Come Gay It Up With Your Hot Dish Husband

So here is a nice thing! A Minnesota nice thing. Maybe Gov. Mike Pence is trying to beg all The Gays to come back to Indiana, because all that stuff about legal discrimination was just a big mistake, but...
Physician, heal thy own brain!

Ben Carson Prematurely Ejaculates Presidential Announcement

Dr. Ben Carson, who is very good at being a neurosurgeon but doesn't seem to have other strengths, officially announces his candidacy to lose to Hillary Clinton in Detroit today, but whoops, guess he couldn't keep the "secret" any...

Pat Robertson: It’s Cool If Your Husband Gets Drunk And Blows That Guy Just The One Time

Mark your calendars, kids, because today is one of those rare occasions when we are shocked and awed by scamster televangelist and occasional speed demon Pat Robertson. Usually, we find his half-cocked-and-mostly-senile word meanderings predictably amusing, but darn it...

Gay Boy Gets To Go To Prom With Hella Cute Straight Boy Of His Dreams!

It is the weekend, which means we need a Nice Time, and it's a GOOD ONE. Remember prom? That thing that happened in high school where the mean kids spilled pig blood all over you, so you unleashed your powers...
Abracadabra, ur all gay now LOL.

Obama Shoots Giant Rainbow Out Of His Hand, Instantly Turns All Jamaicans Gay

President Obama visited Jamaica this week, the first time a president has done that in over 30 years. Upon his departure, he turned around to shoot a beautiful, giant rainbow at the island nation, right out of his hand,...

Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills

Late Thursday, Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson was FIRST! to call a press conference so he could sign the "fixed" Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law, following a weeklong national outcry. Before any journalist could even open a new browser...
Don't open the folder or glitter will get fucking everywhere.

Homosexual Spotted At Michigan Newspaper, May Be Armed With Agenda, Caution Advised!

God-bothering Michigan state Rep. Gary Glenn, who is also president of the American Family Association of Michigan, has an ALERT and a DRUDGE SIREN and, hopefully, a SHOCK VIDEO, to share with the people who populate the city of Midland:  There...

The Pat Robertson-Approved 12 Steps To Not Being Gay

Celebrity demon hunter and professional old nag Pat Robertson has some ideas about what to do about the gay. Surprise: it's ex-gay rehab! On a recent edition of his teevee show "Christian Persecution Daily," Pat answered a letter from a distraught...

How We Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Gay-Baiting Aaron Schock

The internet is abuzz with the resignation of fresh-faced congressbottom Aaron Schock, mired as he has been in allegations of ethics violation after ethics violation after gay ethics violation. We are sure we will find out more in coming...

The Weekend Stock Photo Report Chooses To Be Gay

In this installment of The Weekend Stock Photo Report with Weekend S. Photo, Benjamin Netanyahu growls sofly and carries a big shtick, The Supreme Court dignifies the undignifiable, and Ben Carson is a doctor, really! Missed last week's report? No...
You can trust him, he's a doctor

Dr. Ben Carson Explains The Science Of Gay, And It Is Prison Sex

Brain doctor and conservative heartthrob hero Ben Carson has some real neat ideas on The Gay and how that works (it is all explained by "prison sex"), and you have to take his word for it because he is...