Wonkette

Oh look a gay person named Jonathan Crutchley, founder of some gay thing called Manhunt.net, has, er, maxed out a $2,300 donation to John McCain against Barack Obama. People have been sending us this tip like crazy, but whatever? Everyone knows that all gay people not named “Andrew Sullivan” hate Barack Obama for stealing the election from Queen Hillary. [Towleroad]

Homosexual Florida Governor Charlie Crist is getting married, to a woman, so he can be a real, live National Politician. And over the weekend, he announced that he and his “bride” have set a date! It’s December 12, a full 38 days after the election. In other words, they don’t have to plan shit unless he somehow wins as John McCain’s vice president, in which case they’ll actually have to go through with the awful stunt. [Orlando Sentinel]

It is not even a slow news day, but all the news is about tire pressure so kill us now. So we went to Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig’s webpage to see if anything gay was going on and lo and behold, everything gay was going on, in this one screen cap. What a frightening devil this one is, oh, what a terror. [Larry Craig]

Here’s a nice video from The Hill newspaper that shows fitness creep Richard Simmons annoying Capitol Hill for several hours yesterday. He testifies to a House committee about No Child Left Behind destroying public schools’ physical education programs, and he exercises with Hill staffers outside the building. For Republican Congressmen who could witness this from the Capitol’s bathroom windows, it was a dream come true. In this video, Simmons starts freaking out to Congress at :52, then ratchets it up at 1:15, then “climaxes” at 1:30. It is hilarious. This Hill reporter, Erica whatever, seems nice. [YouTube]

So of course these mouth-breathers running the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” program have a YouTube channel, how did it take us so long. Quick background for newcomers: a few Christian Fundamentalists are boycotting McDonald’s because this “restaurant” supports fags, the end. You can watch their funny one-minute trailer about Ronald McDonald molesting your children with his hamburgers, after the jump. MORE »

Sweet criminy, did Juan McCain send out a hot e-mail this morning or what: “It’s pretty obvious that the media has a bizarre fascination with Barack Obama. Some may even say it’s a love affair. We want you to be the judge. We’ve compiled two videos of the more outrageous moments of this not so secret love affair.” Indeed, it’s very similar to the “secret love affairs” that John McCain had during his first marriage, and more recently too, and also with the media. MORE »

Senator Orrin Hatch is an old conservative Republican from Utah, the most conservative Republican state in the country: so it’s no surprise that in a moment of weakness the balladeer of the Senate would pen a sweet, romantic ode to one of his male colleagues. Apparently he is great pals with Ted Kennedy, whose battle with brain cancer compelled Hatch to write a ballad called “Headed Home.” But it is not about heads. MORE »

Guess who’s paying for this daring piece of Gay Travel advertising? The taxpayers of South Carolina! Yukyukyuk… MORE »

Hey guess who’s cosponsoring yet another one of these “protecting marriage from being forever defiled by hot gay action” Constitutional amendments? Two terrible hypocrites: an adulterous bathroom goblin and an adulterous diaper fetishist. Larry Craig and David Vitter should have gay diapered bathroom sex and then filibuster the crap out of each other, because that is what Jesus wanted when he wrote the Fruitcake Constitution. [GovTrack.us]

ISN’T THAT JUST SOME GAY DISEASE THOUGH?: According to Andrew Sullivan’s gay Congressional ESP, Sen. David Vitter, who likes to have diaper sex with prostitutes left and right, is the “only Senator opposing the removal of the HIV travel and immigration ban” from “The United States President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief,” a.k.a. PEPFAR. What kind of godforsaken world do we live in where David Vitter is the only guy who doesn’t want Americans getting AIDS from these foreign gays who come here and start coughing everywhere? [Andrew Sullivan]