Whew! A lot happened this afternoon over at Happy Nice Time People. Mainly, the Internet went INSANE on us for our earlier post, Please Stop Bragging About Your Husband On Facebook. People got so happy about it, and also so mad, all over the Internet! If you haven’t checked it out, you should obviously check it […]

Rick Perry is so smart now with his supersexxxy Clark Kent glasses. (Shut up, yes he is!) He is very intelligent now, and the reason you know he is all intellectual-like is he made an an-al-ogy about how homos puttin’ their wangs in each other’s no-no’s is just like bein’ a alcoholic. Like him! Rick […]

Oklahomans insist on electing something called a Sally Kern, a human-shaped object whose sole and all-consuming function is to fret about the gays and hate the gays, including asserting that the gays are the worstest terrorists alive, worse even than Muslims, along with the more garden variety leads to pedophilia bestiality yadda yadda yadda we’ve […]

You all remember how the Republicans made a big show after Nobummer’s re-election of learning that maybe putting all their eggs in the ‘angry white man’ basket might not work in modern America? That lasted about 2.8 seconds, until Republicans started, you know, being Republican. But since the report that outlined that sincere push was […]

Have you met Dick Black? He is a state Senator in Virginia, and he is running for Congress in Loudon County, and he calls emergency birth control “baby pesticide,” which, we are pretty mad we didn’t think of that first, because “baby pesticide” is awesome. He has a few other awesome thoughts floating around that […]

Oh, hello! Seems like SOMEBODY had a tenth anniversary celebration for yr Wonkette and forgot to invite me, the other pony, the one you thought had been sent to the glue factory forever. It’s my fault for not dropping by more often; maybe I should! Maybe I will. Nevertheless, I did do some strolling down […]

While there are still a few (like, five) Real Mericans (and most of them are on some stupid teevee show about making duck-sex sounds) who are unaware that is the year 2013 for a few more hours (then it will be 2014, for those of you who have trouble counting, you’re welcome), and they think […]

Pat Robertson is slowing down; in the old days, he used to turn hurricanes away from the East coast; now, he focuses on more attainable goals, like telling a nice Christian lady to be polite to her lesbian friend, but not to invite her into her home, because you don’t want to run the risk […]

So this guy from the Manning Report — who is apparently not Bob Barr but rather is this actual black racist from the Atlah church in Harlem — has unleashed a STUNNING REPORT on the “mack daddy,” one Barry Soetoro aka B. Barry Bamz, aka the Hitlerest Hitler who ever Gay-Hitlered, and that is via […]

Well, everyone is saying that there were no winners last night, just because the GOP caused about $24 billion in economic harm so that John Boehner could get more MyFace friends from the Tea Party. Worth it. Well, everyone is WRONG. There was a clear winner last night, and it was the Strippers Union! Per […]

Prepare to clutch your pearls, wonketeers. We have on our hands a tawdry display of vile sexuality that absolutely DEMANDS to be shown to the world. It seems that a politician errr, a journalist the private-citizen daughter-in-law of a retired journalist has put up some super-racy photos on the Facebooks! Gasp! and bring me a […]

Oh, Pat Robertson. After giving us a confusing nice time about sex change operations, you had to go out and open your foul, putrid assface talkhole. We’re thankful to the folks at RightWingWatch for enlightening us about the wise words of St. Robertson of Dumbfuckville: Pat Robertson told co-host Terry Meeuwsen that gay men in […]

My my, San Antonio, you certainly are getting “Wonkette famous” this morning! First we listened to that fun secret recording of Councilwoman Elisa Chan’s staff trying to figure out how to keep their thoughts on dog-marrying and cat-marrying from getting out into the general public. And now comes word that at Wednesday’s City Council meeting, […]

Everyone knows Barack Obama is probably secretly a gay homosexual gay. It’s just so obvious, isn’t it, what with his, like, probably gayness? He sure sets off Fox “News” mouth-breather and Brooklyn food co-op enthusiast Todd Starnes’s gaydar (which, um, we thought only other gays and their single-lady hags-we-mean-allies had, so, uh, what does that say […]

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