Tag: gawker

You can tell he's being silly because his appleheaded vagina mouth is in the "giggle" position.

Correction: Donald Trump Did NOT Threaten To Deport All Muslims To The Moon

Hello, all Wonkette's favorite liberal blogs, what are you up to? Playing a game of telephone with each other, like Ben Carson telling himself his life story? Cool. Let's watch a media frenzy unfold, but let's do it backward,...

Dearest Gawker Media, Won’t You Please Leave Wonkette This Tiny Crust Of Bread?

Hello, Gawker sirs, don't mind us, we're just a couple of country mice over here in the corner eating this tiny crust of bread. You remember us, Wonkette? We are the politics blog that sprang from your loins (gross)...
Listen, honey, there's something I need to tell you.

Looks Like Josh Duggar Wanted To Molest An Adult For Once

We TOLD you people about how that gross Ashley Madison website, where married people go and set up accounts so they can try to have naked affairs with other married people, got hacked. And now the hackers have released...
Ooh look a kitten.

A Completely True Story About A Brazilian Pastor And His Holy Peen Milk. Your Weekly Top Ten

Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and you are probably thinking "ooh I just clicked on this post HARD because I want to know about the Brazilian pastor and his holy peen milk" and we hate to break it to...
Is this yr Wonkette's secret admirer? MAYBE! XOXOXO

Loser Dudes Who Harass Ladies Online Are Micropenis Losers In Real Life Too, Says Science

Are you ready for WONKET SCIENCE KORNER? Of course you are, because we are liberals and we love science! Let's look at the Washington Post to find out what Studies Show today, oh look, Studies Show that if you are...

Looks Like Gawker’s Got Some Job Openings, Y’all

Last week, the media-hijinks website Gawker made a wee oopsy. It posted a story about some guy -- literally, just some guy -- attempting to step out on his wife with a gay porn star who then tried to...
Serves you right!

If You’re One Of Ashley Madison’s 40 Million Gross Cheating Whores, We Have Bad News

DELETE YR ACCOUNTS, SHEEPLE. If you are one of the gross pervs who has been gross perving it up on the Ashley Madison website -- tagline "Life is short. Have an affair" -- your wife or husband or life...
The comments section at Gawker?

Seattle Earthquakes, Unborned Fetus Parts And Gawker! Your Weekly Top Ten.

  Hey Wonkers, happy Sunday afternoon! We hope you are full of brunch and joy and whatever else you like to be full of, dicks probably. So it's time to count down the top ten posts of the week, aren't...
Fancy a roll in the gay?

Wingnuts Fondly Remember Simpler Time, When Americans Were Too Poor For Buttsex

Back in my day, you didn't just HAVE buttsex. You had to work for it, and each time you got it was a special treat. You had to walk uphill to get it, both ways, in the snow, and...

An Open Letter To Gawker, From Your Friend Wonkette

Dear Gawker, So, you removed that post. You know, the one about a married man (whose name we will not be mentioning) trying to score some hot gay sex on the sly, away from his wife's prying eyes -- or...
Perhaps this should be a crown of thorns for the beleagured soul.

Chuck C. Johnson Sues Gawker For Defecation Defamation, May Also Have Banged Sheep

Ginger-haired ass boil Chuck C. Johnson is in the news again, and thank god for some comic relief. Late last week, the chubby-cheeked leprechaun filed suit against Gawker and two of its writers, J.K. Trotter and Greg Howard, over...
News man.

Now Even Court Transcripts Are Lying About How Bill O’Reilly Maybe Beated Up His Wife

Just a couple days after the story broke of Bill O'Reilly's alleged abuse of his ex-wife, Maureen McPhilmy, court transcripts have surfaced that appear to support the allegation that Bill O'Reilly assaulted McPhilmy in front of their daughter several...
American Icon

Bill O’Reilly: My Daughter Is A Dirty Liar, I Never Beated Up Her Mom

Bill O'Reilly would like you all to know he never ever assaulted his ex-wife, Maureen McPhilmy -- never happened, not true, no way. Forget that story Monday about him dragging her down a staircase by the neck. Shut up, or he'll rip...
Fuck it, we'll do it domestic abusively!

We Are Shocked To Learn That Bill O’Reilly Beated Up His Wife, Allegedly

GUYS! You are not going to believe this, but it's just possible that Bill O'Reilly, in addition to being a scummy liar who lies and bullies people and is generally the worst person ever, also allegedly assaulted his ex-wife...

NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio Does The Pot Like A Common Jazz Criminal, And The NYPD Is On It

Thanks to the NYPD's recent unofficial work stoppage, it's a great time to be a public urinator in New York. Loiterers are going shockingly unticketed and jaywalkers are free to ply their trade with impunity. There is, however, one...

Dead Breitbart Freaks Out Over ‘Muslim Prayer Rug’ Found Near Border, Sheeple See Only A ‘Shirt’

Dead Breitbart's Little Sisters of Perpetual Fear ran this breathless headline the other day, indisputable proof that al Qaeda terrorists are sneaking through our porous borders™, perhaps disguised as seven-year-old Guatemalan children: Muslim Prayer Rug Found on Arizona Border...