Tag Archives: gawker

  jello?

Bill Cosby Pal Does Not See Why Bill Cosby’s 14 Rape Allegations Would Preclude A New NBC Show, No Big Deal

Fun story! If the allegations from, let’s see, carry the 1, FOURTEEN WOMEN are true, beloved entertainer Bill Cosby is a pig serial rapist. Like, the rape-rape kind. Like, over decades. Bill Cosby also has a show in development at NBC. Is this a problem? Of course this is not a problem. Read more on Bill Cosby Pal Does Not See Why Bill Cosby’s 14 Rape Allegations Would Preclude A New NBC Show, No Big Deal…
  shots first questions later

Gather Round And Watch Quentin Tarantino And Gawker Try To Beat Each Other’s Brains Out

Last week, we cried real tears upon learning that Quentin Tarantino was taking his Hateful Eight toys and going home because someone leaked the script. This tantrum inspired Gawker’s Defamer to solicit a copy of the script, which they promptly received and linked to because Defamer. Now Quentin is mad AND sad and is suing Gawker. Read more on Gather Round And Watch Quentin Tarantino And Gawker Try To Beat Each Other’s Brains Out…
  the state of the mommyblog is strong

What Do You Get Your Mommyblog For Your Tenth Anniversary? A Brief History Of The Last Year And Change At Your Wonkette

Hello bitchez! Do you know what today is? It is the tenth anniversary of your Wonkette. (Actually, tomorrow is the tenth anniversary of your Wonkette, but tomorrow is Saturday and you will be drunk.) We know this because we tweeted at Ana Marie Cox and asked her “oh hey, do you happen to know when the tenth anniversary of Wonkette is?” and she told us. And you say we’re not real journalists. What were you doing 10 years ago? We were working at some fucking “newspaper” and being full of Sad that nobody had asked us to be the founding editor of Gawker’s awesome new “politics” blog, “Wonkette,” which is not even a word. We had a political “blog”! (It was just on paper.) We made dick jokes in it! And here was this lady, Ana Marie Cox, doing what should have been our job and becoming Amerikkka’s No. One Favorite Forever Crass Broad, and all we could do was sit at our cube, looking through our magic picture box at somebody three thousand miles away typing dick jokes on the Internet, and a dozen or more times a day hit “refresh.” Today we will bring you many Reminisces from Wonkettes and Wonkers past and present. Which ones? Definitely Sara Benincasa and Ken Layne, because they wrote theirs already. Maybe some others! We do not know! A whole bunch of people said “oh yeah sure I will write you a thing,” but we do not know how “reliable” they are. Probably not reliable at all! Ana Marie Cox will not be writing us anything, because she is writing about what it was like to found yr Wonket over at The Guardian? o_O No no, Ana Marie, it’s cool. We’re not gonna #WAR you. OR ARE WE??? (Yes, of course we are.) Read more on What Do You Get Your Mommyblog For Your Tenth Anniversary? A Brief History Of The Last Year And Change At Your Wonkette…
  now that's what I call art

An Exegesis Of Gawker’s Trove Of Bill Clinton’s Hacked Doodles, By A Professional Art Critic

This is a doodle by Bill Clinton. It has been liberated by hacker “Guccifer” from a computer file marked “wjcdrawings” at the Clinton Library, and posted at Gawker, where it belongs. As you can see, Bill Clinton has drawn a Demi Moore in the ’80s-style bush on an American flag. The bush is queefing on the White House. It has three slinkies coming out of it. There is a labyrinth at the bottom of the bush that probably is home to a minotaur. Bill Clinton, you will be shocked to learn, loves muff. Big ol’ hairy sloppy muff. With a monster in it.   To the right of the vagina flag is a flag made of bricks. There is the feminine America — the Democrats’ America, all Mommy Party and refusal to trim your soggy muff or shave your pits and insistence on being a big lesbo at Yale. And there is the masculine America, the Republican America, rock-jawed, impenetrable, you cannot put a penis in that no sir, it is right there in the word impenetrable that you cannot. Also, Bill Clinton has drawn George W. Bush as the Gryphon from Wonderland, and also a pencil-necked geek. Read more on An Exegesis Of Gawker’s Trove Of Bill Clinton’s Hacked Doodles, By A Professional Art Critic…
  macho macho men

Quien Es Mas Macho? Your Late Morning Outbound Links!

First up this morning! Gawker’s fucking marvelous epistolary duel between Tom Scocca and some dick from some Canadian “news” “paper.” Some Gawker commenters seem to think it is Tom Scocca who comes across poorly here. They are incorrect. A newpaper that claims an exclusive, when in fact someone else broke the story, is committing what we in “journalism” call “go fuck yourself.” But then dude from newspaper is all like, oh, well perhaps we didn’t have an exclusive per se, but we were working on the story first, so that should be what counts, because you do not have libel laws in US Amercia. There is dick-swinging! There are moved goalposts! There is whinging, and manliness, simultaneously! And it brings to mind our favorite Gore Vidal story, when, after being punched to the ground by a particular literary macho, he said, presumably while holding his jaw, “Once again words fail Norman Mailer.” Read more on Quien Es Mas Macho? Your Late Morning Outbound Links!…
  fark you

Hey Reddit /R/Politics Refugees, Have You Considered Annexing Wonkville?

Do you know Reddit? It is this thing. It is a glorious place of Internet freedom where users (“Redditors”) post stories they have found from other places, and then other users (“Redditors”) vote up and down on whether it is “hot” or “not.” In that regard, it is much like our own Wonkville, where we send our readers to slave in the story mines and then bitch about how their headlines were better. A hot post on Reddit’s main politics “subreddit,” /r/politics, will flood the original site from which it was linked with masses of lovely, beautiful, $$$ traffic. This can be quite important, when you are trying to pay people and also eat food and also not be homeless, despite making your “living” on the internet. (Please send money.) But a thing has happened at /r/politics, and that is that some “moderators” went full Al Haig and had themselves a teeny-weeny little attack of I’M IN CHARGE HERE. They decreed that henceforth they would ban all stories from about a thousand million different websites completely (scroll down for the banned domains), for the crimes of being “sensational” (headlines that oversell their stories), “blogspam” (basically, any aggregator of news from around the web, which every blog is), or “bad journalism” (undefined). Among those sites? Just some total nonentities you’ve never heard of, like Mother Jones, the National Review, Media Matters, Right Wing Watch, Salon, Think Progress, and Huffington Post. Read more on Hey Reddit /R/Politics Refugees, Have You Considered Annexing Wonkville?…
  life is a cabaret

Who Invited The New York Times To Our ‘Cory Booker Flirted With A Stripper’ Party?

Yes, we know, boobs. And Cory Booker. It’s very exciting. Especially the boobs. But really especially the Cory Booker, what a piece! Buzzfeed (NSFW link, because boobs) was first with the magical tale of how a man named Cory Booker used his Twitter to say he loved a stripper named Lynsie Lee. Go to Buzzfeed if you like pictures of boobs that might even be not fake, who knows? Possibly Cory Booker? And of course Gawker followed soon after, wrongly accusing Lee of veganism, which they later corrected (she works at a vegan strip club in Portland, OR, because Portland). And of course yr Wonkette could not let this pass without comment, so don’t get all glass housey with us! Read more on Who Invited The New York Times To Our ‘Cory Booker Flirted With A Stripper’ Party?…
  nevar forget

Ken Layne Interviews The Devil About 9/11, Stuff

Hmmm, well, here is a thing. It is Ken Layne, your deposed dictator, interviewing the Devil in the back of a San Francisco taxi, about 9/11 and religious wars and global warming … and you guys, you might not even have to reach for the cyanide pills. Read more on Ken Layne Interviews The Devil About 9/11, Stuff…
  reality...what a concept

Ebony And Daily Caller Locked In Existential Debate About Nature Of Jokes, Reality

Yesterday we closed our story about wingnut outrage over Ebony Magazine’s “We Are Trayvon” covers by noting that Ebony was taking the fuss in stride, as reflected in this tweet: “We have so many Tea Party readers and followers. To lose all zero of them due to our September cover would be devastating.” We also noted that the interwebs were having more than a bit of fun with the idea, as #whitepeople boycottingEBONY was also burning up the Twitterverse. Ah, but is there in fact an actual boycott of Ebony? In actual reality, there is not, for indeed, such a notion is utterly absurd! It is, in fact, the sort of absurdity that one might mock with a sarcastic hashtag, even! But wait! What if those dumb liberals actually believe that white conservatives are boycotting Ebony? The Daily Caller’s leering homunculus Patrick Howley took that angle and ran with it, breathlessly revealing that Ebony had been “duped” — and by a “disgraced reporter,” no less! Hahaha, foolish liberals! You made a joke about a conservative boycott that does not exist, which means you are laughing at nothing! Read more on Ebony And Daily Caller Locked In Existential Debate About Nature Of Jokes, Reality…
  get medieval on their ass

What Can We Learn From This Horrible Story About Mentally Disabled People In Dungeons?

Gawker brings us the second-most horrifying story of the morning — the other one is also from Gawker, about “Cannibal Cop,” so yeah — about mentally disabled people, with average mental ages of 10, being kept in a Philadelphia dungeon so a cabal of really fine people could steal their disability checks and also make them be prostitution whores. Alleged ringleader Linda Weston [who was joined in the scheme by her daughter, among others] found the victims in different ways; one was her niece and another was taken from a street corner near a mental health facility. All of the victims were malnourished and some had been trapped in the basement for as long as 11 years; the two deaths were the result of starvation and bacterial meningitis. Several of the victims, who Memeger said had the mental capacity of an average 10-year-old child, were also forced into prostitution. All told, the scam netted the alleged abductors $212,000 over ten years. How is it that the easiest way to make an illegitimate 20 grand a year is to IMPRISON PEOPLE IN BASEMENTS? Like, have they ever even seen “Breaking Bad”? Maybe they just enjoyed imprisoning people, and the SSI was just icing on the very sick cake? Maybe most of their real income came from selling “Bless This Torture Den” needlepoint on Etsy? Read more on What Can We Learn From This Horrible Story About Mentally Disabled People In Dungeons?…
  quiet rooms

Wonkette’s Guide to Gawker’s Bain Super Scooper, Pt. II

Hello Wonketteers, by now you have probably realized that Gawker released 950 pages of Bain Capital records, and that this is either very important or a waste of everyone’s time, depending on whom you ask. WHICH IS IT? IS IT IMPORTANT OR IS IT A WASTE OF TIME? And also, what is a total return equity swap, and why should you care? And how did Romney manage to give $100,000,000 to his heirs without paying taxes on any of it? These are very pressing and important questions, and it is your lucky day because the answers are contained herein. Behold, Part 2 of Wonkette’s guide to the Gawker Super Scooper, where all questions will be answered and all doubts will be assuaged. Read more on Wonkette’s Guide to Gawker’s Bain Super Scooper, Pt. II…
  quiet rooms

Wonkette’s Guide to Gawker’s Scooper-Duper Bain Capital Documents, Pt. 1

It was so kind of person or persons unknown to give 950 pages of Bain Capital records to Gawker, exposing (among other things) Mitt Romney’s financial portfolio, and tax avoidance strategies employed by Bain. BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? It could mean a lot! Or nothing! There is so much information, and it is so complicated, so you are probably confused and maybe even angry, but do not panic, your Wonkette is here to help! Read more on Wonkette’s Guide to Gawker’s Scooper-Duper Bain Capital Documents, Pt. 1…
  stuporman vs. the mole people

Whack-A-Mole: Who Will Rid Rupert Murdoch Of This Turbulent Pest?

On April 10th, Gawker announced that they had a ‘mole’ nestled in the center of Bullshit Mountain known as Fox News. Getting a job at Fox News isn’t exactly easy, and the new hire process is rather unorthodox and was thought to weed out moles. When Gawker secretly told the world of its newly found treasure, Fox released the hounds and claimed to have found the spy within 24 hours. The ‘Fox Mole’ isn’t new to the scene. This is a person who has been there for years, and ‘his’ story reveals more than just white pointed hats and O’Reilly’s sex parties. Read more on Whack-A-Mole: Who Will Rid Rupert Murdoch Of This Turbulent Pest?…
  trapped

Oh, Chris Lee Was Also Messing Around In the Craigslist Transsexual Section

When Republican Congressman Chris Lee resigned a few weeks ago mere hours after Gawker published what appeared to be e-mails and a photo he sent to a lady on Craigslist about wanting to have an affair, it surprised people. People such as us. If a married diaperman such as David Vitter can survive and even be re-elected to the U.S. Senate after having weird relations with prostitutes, why should Chris Lee resign if all he did was ask a regular, not-prostitute lady on the Internet if she wanted to have an affair? Because he also asked the same thing in the “m4t” section. Yes, some odd e-mails forwarded to Gawker, Chris Lee may have also been offering himself to transexual women. Read more on Oh, Chris Lee Was Also Messing Around In the Craigslist Transsexual Section…
  beefileaks

Rep. Chris Lee Sending Half-Naked Pics To Ladies On Craigslist

Gawker has published e-mails they say are from married Republican Congressman Chris Lee, who was apparently trolling Craigslist D.C.’s “Women Seeking Men” forum and sent a lady a shirtless camera-phone photo of him flexing his bicep in a bathroom mirror like some meathead 15-year-old on Facebook. Chris Lee is never going to hear the end of this one from his Republican colleagues! “You were caught in the beginning stage of sexting an adult woman, Chris-bro? Did it excite you how legal that was or something?” You can hear the jokes starting already. So what is his defense? He was “hacked,” and he and his wife and kid are a happy family, so of course he wasn’t doing this. Wrong defense! The correct defense is “I’m not gay. I love women, not men and coke prostitutes in bathroom stalls.” Get it right, amateur. Read more on Rep. Chris Lee Sending Half-Naked Pics To Ladies On Craigslist…