gawker

Gawker brings us the second-most horrifying story of the morning — the other one is also from Gawker, about “Cannibal Cop,” so yeah — about mentally disabled people, with average mental ages of 10, being kept in a Philadelphia dungeon so a cabal of really fine people could steal their disability checks and also make [...]

Hello Wonketteers, by now you have probably realized that Gawker released 950 pages of Bain Capital records, and that this is either very important or a waste of everyone’s time, depending on whom you ask. WHICH IS IT? IS IT IMPORTANT OR IS IT A WASTE OF TIME? And also, what is a total return equity [...]

It was so kind of person or persons unknown to give 950 pages of Bain Capital records to Gawker, exposing (among other things) Mitt Romney’s financial portfolio, and tax avoidance strategies employed by Bain. BUT WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? It could mean a lot! Or nothing! There is so much information, and it is [...]

On April 10th, Gawker announced that they had a ‘mole’ nestled in the center of Bullshit Mountain known as Fox News. Getting a job at Fox News isn’t exactly easy, and the new hire process is rather unorthodox and was thought to weed out moles. When Gawker secretly told the world of its newly found [...]

When Republican Congressman Chris Lee resigned a few weeks ago mere hours after Gawker published what appeared to be e-mails and a photo he sent to a lady on Craigslist about wanting to have an affair, it surprised people. People such as us. If a married diaperman such as David Vitter can survive and even [...]

Gawker has published e-mails they say are from married Republican Congressman Chris Lee, who was apparently trolling Craigslist D.C.’s “Women Seeking Men” forum and sent a lady a shirtless camera-phone photo of him flexing his bicep in a bathroom mirror like some meathead 15-year-old on Facebook. Chris Lee is never going to hear the end [...]

Michael Steele informed the Republican National Committee last night that he would seek a second term as RNC chair, causing committee members to choke on their mint juleps and then beat their Rentboys with riding crops as they whispered to themselves “that Negro!,” over and over and over again. Moments later, Steele appeared on Greta [...]

Nobody at Gawker Media has told us anything. We only learned about it early this morning, after we returned from a Christmas party and found a mysterious mass email claiming all of Gawker Media’s logins had been hacked and posted online — including those of people who simply commented on Gawker sites. FIRST: If you [...]

As we all know, some bro’s account of what Christine O’Donnell’s pubic hair looks like shows she is hypocritical on the most important political issues, and that is why Gawker, according to them, posted that gross account of her naked body on the Internet, for which they paid thousands of dollars. (Haha, you have already [...]

AHEM. [Turning third-person voice off for first time ever.] I come with a “Tuesday Night News Dump” that will be a great source of joy to those of you who have put up with my lies for more than 2.5 years: I am leaving you people, my beloved readers, to type about politics for another [...]

Alex Pareene, former editor of this site and current political writer for Gawker and the guy who kindly brought your current editor (that’s me fukkas) aboard the USS Wonkette back in the summer of 2006, is leaving the Gawker Empire to write the politics or whatever for … Salon!!!

Do you people still check out the Drudge Report thing? Yeah we don’t really either. But Gawker tells us that nowadays Matt Drudge only posts articles about Barack Obama and Serena Williams and whatever other black people exist beating up white people and line judges everywhere, most likely on buses. Well, Matt’s given out your [...]

DEATH OF DEATH PORN  4:42 pm September 11, 2009

by Ken Layne

ALL OF THIS IS FACTUAL TRUTH: “So thank fucking christ that the Commander in Chief is no longer subjecting the nation to death porn. No, this year it’s limited to a nutty little cult leader on basic cable who is encouraging his radicalized band of fanatical followers to invade the cities where the tragedy actually [...]

SACK OF RETARDS  3:31 pm June 12, 2009

by Jim Newell

YOU MUST WATCH FOX & FRIENDS DISCUSS THE UIGHURS’ RELEASE TO VARIOUS ISLAND NATIONS: Thank you Gawker for having video interns to capture the marvelous nonsense from this morning’s edition of Fox & Friends, the topic being “these Uighur characters,” in the words of Steve Doocy. “Do you want to go to a place where [...]


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