• What is ‘Max Baucus’? We simply do not know. [Matt Yglesias]
• Today’s RedState lecture: “How Limbaugh’s embodiment of MLK’s dream changed my life.” Please take notes because you’ll be tested on this material at the end of the semester. [RedState]
• How will Jonah Goldberg survive the impending zombie apocalypse?! Hiding in a spider hole at the bottom of Lake Superior might work, but then again, Lake Superior freezes in the winter and zombies can definitely definitely walk on ice and oh no oh no oh no no NO zombies zombies ZOMBIES! [The Corner]
• There are many sappy, vomit-inducing political ads that come and go in these United States, but Gavin Newsom’s takes the vomit cake. [The Caucus]
• Barack Obama grinds with a devastating Latina and then abruptly flees the dance floor because honestly he’s a married man and this is just torture. [Swampland]

• You, the worker, have actually been getting paid more, not less, over the last year.* (*Except if you are unemployed. Salaries of the unemployed have been comparatively static.) [New York Times]
• The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff has joined most of Congress in thinking Obama’s idea about a new surge in Afghanistan is in fact a terrible one. [Times Online]
• Bill Clinton, on one of his bimonthly goodwill visits to Earth, has endorsed attractive Californian Gavin Newsom for the position of Governor of California. [Los Angeles Times]
• Police announced that Blagojevich’s former gal Friday, Christopher Kelley, who died of an overdose last weekend had previously tried to die of an overdose. [Chicago Tribune]
• Some religious Southwesterners are fighting to keep Big Government from taking away their constitutional right to brew psychedelic tea, which … helps them with their God. [WSJ]
• Here is your CLOSURE: Kanye West has apologized to Hilary Duff for his failure to observe congressional protocol. She was like, “Fine.” The end. [CNN]

Just a few short years ago, candidates for political office announced they were getting in the race by doing something civilized like standing outside and making a speech, to live humans. Now you just announce it on the vulgar “Twatter” service employed by narcissists, creepy old men, and highly accomplished [Note: Beautiful young "Meg McCabe" took down her insane Twitter rant about her accomplishments, dammit. --Ed.] authoresses. [GavinNewsom.com]

Former State Senator Jackie Speier made official yesterday what had already been assumed: she’s running for Congress again. Accompanied by Congress members Anna Eshoo and Mike Thompson to a park named after her assassinated boss Congressman Leo Ryan, Speier announced that she was officially in the “race” for the seat that the cancer-stricken Lantos will vacate at the end of 2008. She’s already lined up endorsements from 93 other elected officials, including San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom. I guess he got engaged to run for a different higher office. [CQ Politics]

San Francicso mayor Gavin Newsom has gotten engaged to his girlfriend Jennifer Siebel. Gavin was reportedly inspired to propose after she spent long enough as a blonde that she wouldn’t invite any further comparisons to his ex-wife and/or make people question his sexuality any more than they already do. [Fox News]

We, he doesn’t want-want your soda, like, he doesn’t want to have your soda or anything. Please, obviously, he doesn’t abuse refined sugar. He wants to tax your soda, so you won’t want to drink it anymore because he knows best, obviously! Just look at him! And he doesn’t drink soda.

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San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, best known for marrying gay people and fucking a staffer’s wife, endorsed Hillary this summer, became one of her national campaign co-chairs and will be stumping for her again this week when she comes to Northern California to rake in that sweet, sweet campaign cash. But is the charmer really that pro-Hillary, or just really anti-someone else…

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San Francisco mayoral politics are bad. So bad, in fact, that actor and director Sean Penn once offered hunky-hipster attorney Matt Gonzalez $5 million to fund his war chest if he were to run as a Democrat against Mayor Gavin Newsom. MORE »

Gavin Newsom is San Francisco’s smarmily handsome alcoholic cult-leader mayor who fucks the wives of his best friends and generally acts like a douchesack, but at least he killed most of the homeless so you can now walk around for half a block without being assaulted by a legless drug addict spewing diarrhea in the street. Anyway, enjoy our latest Nadine and his careful critique of the Newsom Administration. MORE »

There are “life lessons” for all new beauty queens. Miss USA and Miss Teen USA learned it’s best not to be caught having coked-up lesbian sex together, and new Miss America Lauren Nelson has learned it’s best not to hook up with DC Examiner gossip Patrick Gavin, because he’s just going to put it all in the paper. MORE »

UPDATE: Oh great, now our operative says “WRONG GAVIN!” Is there another Gavin we should be concerned about? Who? Local journalist Patrick Gavin? Jeez, this post is no longer at all interesting. MORE »