Tag: gas prices

He's thinking of ideas right now.

New House Speaker Paul Ryan Has Some Ideas, You Guys!

Fresh-faced dumb baby House Speaker Paul Ryan woked up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning! He did his P90X, said his affirmations into the mirror, and then tweeted out an idea he had been having, about how it would be...
What, not that Keystone?

President Obama Will Not Be Laying Any Keystone Pipe Today

This post sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for blogging about oil spills, pipelines, oil industry shenanigans, and the end of civilization as Republicans know it. Beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly, all...

Look How Obama Ruined The GOP Primaries With All These New Jobs

Well, ferret nuts. Guess the GOP is going to have to figure out another reason to claim President Obama is the worst President Obama who ever presidented like a common Obama. After years of calling Obamacare a "job-killer" and promising that if...
Promised and Delivered!

Labor Day Weekend Gas Prices Lowest Since 2004, Have You Thanked Michele Bachmann Yet?

Gasoline prices are down, so go fill up all your recreational machines and have a carbon-spewing Global Warming extravaganza, America! The average price of gasoline was $2.51 per gallon on Monday, the Energy Information Administration (EIA) said, the lowest price...
Is this mean? It might be a little mean. Then again, John Boehner is mean.

John Boehner Pines For Good Old Days Of Great Recession

Did you know it has been six years since President Obama murdered the American economy with his bare hands and some so-called "stimulus" spending? This is a true fact, according to Speaker John Boehner, who is crying -- more...
Promised and Delivered!

Michele Bachmann Gave You Your $2 Gas. You’re Welcome, America!

Retiring Congressdipshit Michele Bachmann has been doing a peculiar version of the Minnesota Long Goodbye, except instead of the usual arrangement, where a host follows a departing guest out to the car asking if they're really sure they don't...
Maybe *this* time it's bad for the economy?

Fox Business Very Concerned About All This … Cheap Gasoline?

Here is Stuart Varney on Fox Business today, yapping his elegant lippy about something, do not care, did not watch. But what is that chyron beneath him (which is, unaccountably, all spelled correctly and without discernible factual errors)? It...

Why Raise the Gas Tax When You Can Kick Virginia Hippies Instead

So, gentle readers, what do you think is the best way to address long-term road infrastructure funding and energy costs in America? Perhaps you've thought about finally, after over ten years, raising the federal gas tax just a wee...

California Gas Prices Still Out Of Effing Control

Hello from sunny California, now home to two three vaginally-afflicted members of your crack Wonkette cyborg team. It is a fun state, full of many wonderful things like giant trees, Mexican goth teens, and of course, Danny DeVito's allegedly...

Michele Bachmann Orders Barack Obama To Put Down That Tar Baby

It is arbitrarily time once again to dust off one of our favorite 2011 primary season word games, What the Hell Is Michele Bachmann Talking About, starring everyone's favorite low-hanging Republican fruitcake. What have you got for our players...

Embarrassing Muppet Donald Trump Calls Windmills ‘Horrible, Loud, Disgusting’

There is a phrase that Socialist Jewishes like to say each other (with their hands tightly grasping all their Socialist Jewish munneez, of course!). That thing they like to say is, "We see the world not as it is,...

Totally Non-Shocking Poll Results: Americans A-Okay With Denying Sluts Birth Control

Was your day going a little too well until now? Were the birds annoying you with their musical chirps, and the sun just cold pissing you off with its warming rays? Then you will want to take a look...

Fox News: Obama Could Lower Gas Prices Now If He Wanted, Unlike Bush

George W. Bush wasn't doing much of anything in 2008, having pretty much checked himself out of "administrative duties" sometime in late 2006. One of the things Bush was definitely not doing as he rode out his term was...

Noted Economist Rick Santorum: Witch Obama Caused Housing Crash

Smegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum, continuing his streak of saying only and at all times sensible and logically sound things, reminded Americans today that it was President B. HUSSEIN Obama who retroactively caused the housing crash because of how he...

Would You Rather Look At a Scary Graph or Watch Barack Obama Sing?

You are so right, Republican National Committee attack ad, it is very bizarre that Barack Obama is busy singing while an overlay graphic indicates that gas prices continue to -- oh wait, there he goes with that "come on,"...

Michele Bachmann Offers to Crash Economy to Lower Gas Prices

Hollering pill junkie loser welfare brat Michele Bachmann promises everybody that if she is elected President, the price of gas will come down to $2. "That will happen," she says, and nothing else. Ominous! Since Michele won't specify how...