Coward McCain Will (Maybe?) Show Up Tonight, So Here’s Your Debate Drinking Game!
Friday, September 26th, 2008
Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, which happens often when you can’t remember what you just said and have no idea what you’re talking about, anyway. So, huzzah, we will get to drink on a Friday night after all! Get out your iPhone or whatever and make a shopping list, because it’s time for Wonkette’s Famous Debate Drinking Game! MORE »
Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, which happens often when you can’t remember what you just said and have no idea what you’re talking about, anyway. So, huzzah, we will get to drink on a Friday night after all! Get out your iPhone or whatever and make a shopping list, because it’s time for Wonkette’s Famous Debate Drinking Game! MORE »
Five million years ago yesterday, the Lord Jesus died for our sins and then came back to say howdy and then went away again. For this very special reason America’s First Lady is hosting an event at the White House, in which the children of the nation roll eggs down a hill and learn about ocean conservation. 
Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) has punished his poor interns by forcing them to put together a terrible flash video game in which you choose your own “CARRIED INTEREST ADVENTURE.” Private Equity is at risk and only you can save it! There’s a “deep throat” in a parking garage warning about how Nancy Pelosi is attacking our pension funds from her invisible Wonder Woman plane and the villain is Charlie Rangel or something and really it’s too utterly insane to even mock. 
