Except they aren’t moving to one candidate, and they never will. If we had to predict November at this point, we’d say that the Supreme Court will order John McCain to serve as president until the Democrats pick a nominee, and then they’ll order that John McCain serve a full term while he’s at it. In other decisive poll news, a CNN “poll of polls” released Friday shows the two tied at 45% apiece in Indiana. Dagnabbit. [Gallup, CNN]

Communist Barack Obama is doing so poorly among the blue collars and home security dads that he is now leading Hillary Clinton by 11 points in the latest Gallup daily tracking poll. It is the largest margin he has held against Clinton this year. Elitist smoker! [Gallup]

Obama’s been widening the gap recently in Gallup’s daily tracking poll, probably because his opponent’s latest strategy for winning is to make everyone hate her more. It’s worked before! Once Hillary settles down into the low teens, and Barack polls as the most popular politician in world history, then the superdelegates will have no choice but to hand her the nomination. It’s all in the triangulation, people. [Gallup]

Eagle-eyed Wonkette operative “Jared” notices a disturbing propaganda campaign in that Gallup poll from earlier this morning: “If you look at McCain’s approval rating on that Gallup link from a couple of hours ago, it looks exactly like the northern border of the US. Dude is patriotic.” That’s exactly what he wants us to believe — he has been knowingly altering his public image for years so that the graph would look this way. He is a very, very dangerous liar. [Gallup] MORE »

GREAT DAY FOR A RACE SPEECH: “John McCain’s 67% favorable rating is the highest of any of the three major candidates running for president, and ties for his highest in Gallup polling history.” A hearty swig of rat poison should wash this down. [Gallup]

Remember how Hillary Clinton lost the last 10 primaries, and how she must resort to hilarious racism to have any chance? Well, those primaries didn’t matter, and today she’s reclaimed the Gallup daily tracking poll lead by a safe one point over Obama. Is she only capable of gaining steam when she loses so terribly in the weeks before? Is there any way Barack can beat a lady down on her luck? That wouldn’t be very polite of him. [Gallup]

The Gallup Daily Tracking Poll shows Hillary finally closing that deficit after a whole five or six days. She’s only losing by one point now. Call the election! Hillary wins forever, soon! Don’t, stop, thinkin’ about tomorrow…

But in real life, she actually does have some vague chance of winning Wisconsin tonight, even though she’s lost every primary election since Super Tuesday. Accordingly, those wombats at the Obama campaign have “lowered expectations” dramatically via their daily talking points. So either way, they win by 50 points, in the American Voter’s mind. MORE »

Oof… this is not good for the Barack Hussein ObamaNation. The Feb. 3-5 Gallup daily tracking poll has her leading by 13 percentage points. THE RACE IS OVER! Until tomorrow, when he’ll somehow have locked up the nomination. [Gallup]

American heroes George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton have topped Gallup’s most admired man and woman in America poll. On top of that, it’s the sixth year in a row that they’ve shared the honor. In other news, Gallup is a very credible institution. [USA Today]

Mike Huckabee, a.k.a. the very poor man’s Kevin Spacey, isn’t just demystifying Mitt’s pajamas in Iowa — he’s now taking on the entire world! Or at least… the entire Amerka! MORE »

A new Gallup Poll proves Americans basically “admire” anyone whose name they’ve heard on the teevee. As a result, the beloved power couple George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton take the top spots in the “male” and “female” categories — both with an unimpressive and unlucky 13%. MORE »

• The blogosphere has been dominated by Domenech’s demise. Our coverage is collected here (scroll down).
• Candid photographs of Katherine Harris: they’re as addictive as crack, and as dangerous too.
• Speak incoherently and carry a big pen: President is now the longest-sitting president since Jefferson not to exercise his veto.
• A fire breaks out in the CNN studio — probably arson by a jilted lover. As for the “suspicious package” at the White House, let’s blame it on the French.
• Embroiled in the latest “to blog or not to blog” pseudo-scandals: Washington Times opinion page editor Tony Blankley, and Newark mayoral candidate Cory Booker.
• Some of our subjects here at Wonkette can get so sensitive. Lighten up, guys!
• Supreme Court justices can get so childish. It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a gavel.
• Rummy slaps around MoDo: “If you believe everything you read in Maureen Dowd, you better get a life.” We don’t know whose side to take in this one.
• Career advice for radio talk show hosts: don’t call the Secretary of State a racial epithet. She may not be the next NFL commissioner, but she can still kick your ass.
• Dick Cheney’s diva-licious demands, revealed.
• Last week was your chance to buy a piece of history: Duke Cunningham’s loot hit the auction block.
• President Bush goes on a candor offensive, taking unscripted questions from town-hall audiences — and even Helen Thomas.
• Congressmen get to have all the fun: free booze, plus trips to Colorado and Scotland. What’s not to like?

In the words of a reader: “First Brad and Jennifer, then Nick and Jessica, and now this!” The Hotline reports:

CEO Gallup Jim Clifton wrote to employees: “We have chosen not to renew our contract with CNN. We have had a great relationship with CNN, but it is not the right alignment for our future. …. CNN has far fewer viewers than it did in the past, and we feel that our brand was getting lost and diluted.”

Ouch. Well, in response to news, CNN SVP Laurie Goldberg e-mailed a statement to the Hotline. Clifton’s statements “are not only unprofessional but in every respect untrue.” Clifton told CNN pres. Jim Walton “that the reason that Gallup wanted to end their partnership was that the CNN brand was so dominant that Gallup wasn’t getting the attention for the polls that they wanted.”

Translation:

Gallup: “You know, we’ve had some nice times with CNN. But it’s just not working. It didn’t help that CNN was just letting himself go, putting on a few extra pounds…”

CNN: “Oh, that’s ridiculous! Those extra pounds are pure muscle. You just couldn’t handle it when we’d go to parties together, and every woman in the room would be checking me out!”

The lovers’ quarrel continues, after the jump.

MORE »