gallup
Without Gallup’s Crappy Polls, Nate Silver Is Nothing, Says Gallup
One of the “fun” things about presidential elections is that every four years there’s a new dumb thing about the process for political junkies to yell at each other about despite the disinterest or genuine disgust of normals, and this year it’s polling! Did Nate Silver’s devil-math suck all the fun out of democracy, forever? [...]
Gallup: Record High Number Of Pro-Life Americans Want To Kill Your Children
Fun news for chart nerds! Gallup has once again released its annual poll illustrating how much Americans hate abortion by saying it should be legal in all or certain cases. That’s right, “pro-choicers” are at a “record low” of only 41 percent of respondents who want to kill children. Except for the 77 percent of [...]
70% of America ‘Dreading’ 2012 Presidential Campaign
Ha ha, here is a fun new study that proves everybody would basically like to trade the 2012 presidential election for, say, a massive asteroid strike: Gallup asked voters how jazzed they were for the Obama-Not Romney campaign year, and people basically started weeping and vomiting, simultaneously, into their phones. “Given a choice, 70% of [...]
Record 81% of Americans Hate America
A shocking new Gallup poll proves that 81% of Americans — an all-time record — are against the American Government, while 82% are against Congress specifically. And 49% of Americans believe the U.S. Government is “an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens.” But to read POLITICO, you’d think we’re just in [...]
Glenn Beck Edges Out Dalai Lama In Dumb ‘Most Admired’ Poll
Gallup apparently asks Americans which man and woman they “most admire” every year. In other words, the current president and Hillary Clinton, the most important-sounding people. But the breakdown is interesting: Most admired man: 1. Barack Obama 2. George W. Bush 3. Bill Clinton 4. Nelson Mandela 5. Bill Gates 6. (tied) Pope Benedict XVI [...]
Poll: American Women Unaware Nation’s Beaches And Wildlife Are Too Tough To Let a Little Oil Bother Them
Gallup wanted to find out how the Gulf’s ecosystem will react to the oil spill, so they decided to ask the experts, the American public. And according to poll results released today, American women think beaches and animals in the region will be profoundly affected by the oil spill, whereas American men know that stuff [...]
Robert Gibbs Launches ‘War On Fox News’ On Gallup
ROBERT GIBBS IS SO FUCKING MEAN: “‘If I was a heart patient and Gallup was my EKG, I’d visit my doctor,’ Gibbs told reporters in his morning gaggle. Gibbs said the swing in the poll could be duplicated by a ‘six-year-old with a crayon’ and said he doesn’t put a lot of stake in the [...]
Americans Who’ve Heard of ‘The Fed’ Don’t Like It, Because of … Communists?
Hey, a new survey about things people don’t know: Gallup asked some random selection of Americans who haven’t had their phones shut off to rate nine major federal agencies they may or may not have heard about, on the AM radio. The results are … bad news for, let’s see, Ben Bernanke? Sure!
People Trust Overtly Evil, Profiteering Money Corporations To Reform Health Care More Than They Do Republicans
Yes: more Americans would prefer to have Satanic pharmaceutical/insurance corporations — entities that exist solely to profit from the nation’s poor health, ones that would choose to see eventual government debt default & apocalypse over the creation of a public, non-discriminatory health plan to cover actual sick people — as one of the two major [...]
Gallup Has A Scoop!
And the sun is most likely to come out during the day, and dogs are most likely to eat dog food, maybe. [Gallup]
13% Of Americans Say Sotomayor Is Poor
This Gallup poll was conducted Tuesday, the day of Sonia Sotomayor’s announcement, so the Average American should have had plenty of time to comb through and analyze Sotomayor’s legal opinions before discriminating between “good” and “only fair.” [Gallup]
GOP In Trouble BUT ONLY Among *Human* Voters
Well here’s some good news for Republicans: they’ve finally rid the party of all non-Real Americans! ES UN ROAD TO RECOVERY? And besides, just look at how liberal this liberal poll is. Aside from “Nonwhite” — wtf, like Martians or something?? — it doesn’t even show the trend with Hispanic Mexicans! Surely the GOP has [...]
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