Here we have a pretty normal news analysis of Joe Biden: he’s described as frank but endearing, a clown but a statesman, maybe less visible than other Obama staffers but nonetheless a valued member of the team, etc etc… SNOOZE. But! “Aides said he might go for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016. He would be 74 upon taking office, but his staff insists that’s not too old.” Well, shucks! As long as his paid employees give him the (anonymous) go-ahead, then everything should be fine. Remember how America just elected the 72-year-old John McCain its oldest president ever? Exactly. [Los Angeles Times]

Well, this is rather confusing news! Apparently at that Gridiron Club dinner, the one where President Obama “pulled a Cleveland” and didn’t show up, Joe Biden blabbed some thing to his dining companions that he should not have blabbed. Unbelievable, no? MORE »

Barack Obama has had enough of this Joe Biden and his Gaffes about how we will all die if we go indoors, so he’s just cold exilin’ that dingbat to Hell in a couple of weeks: “WASHINGTON (CNN) - Vice President Joe Biden will travel to Bosnia, Herzegovina, Serbia and Kosovo in Southeastern Europe the week of May 18th, the White House announced Friday.” Biden has responded that America, the Balkans, it’s all the same bullshit to him, he just can’t find his goddamn pants right now is the thing. [CNN]

America’s court jester, Joe Biden, brought the laughs again last week when he directed Americans to “Recovery.com” instead of the administration’s actual financial salvation website, Recovery.gov. Old people! They can never figure out the fucking Internet. MORE »

Look, when Joe Biden was growing up in Scranton, all the local guys — classy ones, they had CLASS back then — would end their damn websites with the same damn thing, “.com,” alright? They didn’t have any of this pansy ass “.gov” or “.org” or “.edu” or “.whateverthegoddamnthing” monkey business; it was either “.com” or nothing and you sucked it up, took it like a man. JESUS! So don’t go hollering at Joe Biden for referring to “Recovery.gov” as “Recovery.com” in a speech today and thereby boosting some private company’s new project, okay?, because who gives a rat’s ass what the damn thing is, all these sites look the same anyway… MORE »

GAFFER TO MAKE REMARKS AT GAFFE FESTIVAL: Uh oh: “Vice President Joe Biden will attend the Special Olympics World Winter Games in Idaho on Thursday, the White House has confirmed.” He will deliver opening remarks, too, and we wish his staffers the best of luck trying to keep him on-script. (”Where I comes from, ’special’ means a goddamn different thing entirely,” etc.) [Idaho Statesman]

Here is Crazy Joe Biden, viciously mocking Chief Justice John Roberts for ruining Obama’s oath of office. We sure wouldn’t mind a joint Obama-Biden press conference every day! But by the look on Barry’s face, we also wouldn’t be surprised if this is the last Biden press conference, ever. [Political IQ]

OH BLAST YOU Congressional poll trackers, why will you not do a fresh poll of Minnesota District 6? Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s opponent, a rare Upper Midwestern wood sprite of the species tinklenbergus, may be winning by zillions of points after Bachmann’s Friday-night meltdown on Hardball. Or maybe not, who knows! But one thing is for certain: Bachmann keeps having to explain herself, and it is not getting any easier. MORE »

This is like when somebody says “you can’t underestimate the importance of thing X” when they are trying to suggest that in fact you can’t overestimate the importance of that thing, it is so very important. Only this is worse times a million, because John McCain says in two different ways that his proud Western Pennsylvanian supporters are racist rednecks. (The crowd, to their credit, gives a collective “Whaaa?”) Then he makes up for it by saying, twice, that the region is so very patriotic. FETCH THIS GENTLEMAN A PILLOW AND A GLASS OF WARM MILK. [YouTube]

The proudly ignorant baby farmer and bold anti-flourescent light crusader Michele Bachmann, Congresswoman from Minnesota, has been horribly victimized by the liberal left-wing anti-American attack machine. All these crazy leftists have been watching this Hardball interview she gave last week and reading the transcript of the interview, and, based on this publicly accessible and quickly verifiable information, reaching easily supportable conclusions! Well she’s had about enough of this nonsense. MORE »

Hurrah, it is a very short YouTube clip! Joe Biden says the middle class’s biggest problem is a three-letter word: jobs, J-O-B-S. Three letters, literally. Literally. [Joe Biden Can't Count]