Tag Archives: gaffes

  Stay On Target

Texas Ag Commissioner Doesn’t Really Want To Nuke All The Muslims. OR DOES HE?

nukes
Bomb, bomb, bomb / Bomb-Bomb … everywhere We all know the normal steps in political gaffe management: 1) Somebody says something really stupid, often on social media; 2) The incredibly stupid/offensive/impolitic social media post is removed; 3) A spokesperson explains that the gaffe was committed by an underling, without authorization, and it definitely doesn’t reflect the boss’s views; 4) Depending on the seriousness of the gaffe, the underling may be fired and the office may issue an apology (of variable sincerity); and 5) Donald Trump says something far stupider, and his polling actually improves. But once in a while, this predictable sequence falls apart, and things get very weird, very fast. Read more on Texas Ag Commissioner Doesn’t Really Want To Nuke All The Muslims. OR DOES HE?…
  If 'Bitch' Is Even A Swear (Which It Isn't)

Old Handsome Joe Biden Said Another Swear!

When caffeine gets drowsy, it takes a little Joe Biden
Prepare for some pissing and moaning, probably, over Old Handsome Joe Biden just being Old Handsome Joe Biden again: Thursday, at a Harvard event, His Handsomeness said a swear, kinda-sorta: “Isn’t it a bitch, I mean … that vice president thing?” Biden joked, as the audience reportedly erupted with laughter. ”I’m joking. I’m joking. I’m joking. The best decision I ever made.” All of which leads one to wonder, once more, what Old Handsome Joe Biden has against dogs, like that time he just cold killed one. (OK, his motorcade did. Still, he’s a monster.) Read more on Old Handsome Joe Biden Said Another Swear!…
  clipbait

Jon Stewart: F-ck You, Shakespeare, F-ck You. (Video)

Really, who *hasn't* wanted to yell 'Fuck you, Shakepeare!' at one time or another?
Like Yr Wonkette, Jon Stewart has a soft spot for Old Handsome Joe Biden, that loveable cutup and advocate for victims of domestic violence. But golly, OHJB can put his foot in it, can’t he? Like how he referred to bankers who foreclosed on homes during the financial crisis as “Shylocks” the other day (oh, come on, Joe!). This also gave Stewart the chance to give Shakespeare the “Fuck you!” he’d been waiting 400 years to deliver. Then, fresh off apologizing for the “Shylocks” remark, America’s Goofy Uncle referred to Asia as “the Orient,” which is not the preferred nomenclature, Dude. “Orient? Shylock? It’s like Biden hasn’t been out of the house since 1962!” Read more on Jon Stewart: F-ck You, Shakespeare, F-ck You. (Video)…
  and another one's gone and another one's gone

Crazy Rightwing 2014 Fringe Candidates Already Dropping Like Flies

So here we are, not quite to the end of the first month of Election Year 2014, and already some of the fine crop of fringe candidates have been felled or gravely sent to the Mockatorium by their own stoopid mouths. Let’s take a quick look at some of the folks who have either dropped out or made themselves even more unelectable than they were before they gave folks a chance to get to know them better. First up, a round of na-na-na-na, hey-hey, goodbye to Dick Black, the repugnant rapethink man from Virginia who coined the term “baby pesticide” for emergency contraception — the only positive contribution of his short run for Congress. Which he brought to a halt on Wednesday after the world heard a little more about his innovative thoughts on how maybe marital rape isn’t really much of a crime, really, because you bought the cow and can milk her whenever you want or something because there she is in a nightie. Black will remain in the state Senate, so Virginia can continue to benefit from his commitment to serving the public by saying the dumbest stuff imaginable. Mostly about women, but also about everything. Read more on Crazy Rightwing 2014 Fringe Candidates Already Dropping Like Flies…
  don't forget poland

Success! Romney (Barely) Ends Foreign Trip Without Savage Brawl Between Campaign And Press

Here is a Romney press secretary telling the shouty press corps assembled at the Polish Tomb of the Unknown to “shove it” and “kiss [his] ass” and “show some respect.” THEY ARE AT A HOLY SITE! (Actually, reporters, dude’s kind of got a point about that one.) They’re so cute, though! GOVERNOR ROMNEY! WHAT ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE A DUMB IDIOT? GOVERNOR ROMNEY! WHY DO YOU SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS ALL THE TIME, WITH YOUR MOUTH? Even Greta Van Susteren has been a-bitchin’ and a-whinin’ about the lack of press access to Romney on his awesome world tour, kvetching that the press were being penned up like a “modified petting zoo.” Read more on Success! Romney (Barely) Ends Foreign Trip Without Savage Brawl Between Campaign And Press…
  how rude!

Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too

Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and “project leadership,” and everywhere you go, you make people hate you. What jerk thing came out of your mouth this time? Oh, just that London was probably going to do a crap job with its Olympics, is all. “Do they come together and celebrate the Olympic moment? That’s something which we only find out once the Games actually begin,” [Romney] said. “It’s hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. “The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and Customs officials – that obviously is not something which is encouraging.” The remarks were greeted with anger, with many British supporters of the Games taking to Twitter to accuse Mr Romney of being graceless and rude. Read more on Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too…
  bitchen camaro

Old Handsome Joe Biden To Campaign For Pakistani 7-11 Owner Votes

God and your editrix love them some Old Handsome Joe Biden. Such cheer, such kindness, such fool things falling from his real purty mouth. Well good news for us, fellows, as the crack team at HuffPo has discovered secret plans to unearth the World’s Sexiest Grandpa from Dick Cheney’s Lair and send him across the country! So if you live in a place in the country that is full of “working class white voters” or “labor” or “Jews,” you too might get a chance to bask in the gleam off his unearthly choppers! Read more on Old Handsome Joe Biden To Campaign For Pakistani 7-11 Owner Votes…
  havens and haven-nots

East Haven Mayor’s Idea of Latino Outreach Is ‘Eating Some Tacos’

Four East Haven, Connecticut police officers were recently arrested by the FBI for unlawful abuse and search of some of the city’s Latino residents, but Mayor Joe Maturo’s immediate response to the arrests was so heinous as to suggest that maybe the officers had been told to be racist and abusive by a racist and abuse-loving mastermind who barely won the election that put him in his current position. When asked, following the arrests, what he would do to promote Latino outreach, Maturo said, “I might have tacos when I get home.” Well played, powerful Republican man. Read more on East Haven Mayor’s Idea of Latino Outreach Is ‘Eating Some Tacos’…
  gaffing around

Santorum Calls Romney ‘Just a Paler Shade of What We Have’

Rick Santorum, down in South Carolina with the rest of the troupe, decided Thursday afternoon to lump Mitt Romney’s proposed policies in with President Obama, further confusing the capitalism debate to the point that it now sounds like an LSAT question with no real answer. In the process, he, albeit not necessarily consciously, decided to call Romney “just a paler shade” of the President. Whoooops. Read more on Santorum Calls Romney ‘Just a Paler Shade of What We Have’…
  news from outer space

Rick Perry Will Get Rid of Activist Judges As Soon As He Can Name One

Remember how Rick Perry used to be able to list a whole two things in a sentence before his mind started collapsing in on itself like a black hole vacuuming up stray brain matter? Right, that’s still happening, but the gravitational pull of his own stupidity appears to be growing according to new observations made back here on Earth. Watch him struggle to start naming “activist Supreme Court judges” he doesn’t like and then stumble on the very first one: Read more on Rick Perry Will Get Rid of Activist Judges As Soon As He Can Name One…
  the master strategist

Biden Clumsily Announces He and Obama Are Running For Re-Election

You know, something tells us this is not the way President Obama wanted to announce it, but according to some comments Joe Biden blurted out at the end of an interview with the New York Times, he and Barry are running for re-election! So, we guess, the 2012 presidential election has already more than begun, before the midterms are even over? Those things seem to come earlier and earlier every year, like Christmas decorations at the local giant chain store, or layoffs at the local giant chain store. Also revealed in this Tiger Beat profile: political fossil Walter Mondale doesn’t think it’s a good idea to have a black president going around campaigning for Democrats. Read more on Biden Clumsily Announces He and Obama Are Running For Re-Election…
  that's like saying tacos aren't delicious oh wait

Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE

WHAT IS HE SAYING?! SPEAK AMERICAN, BLACK MAN. Yes, Michael Steele has made another major boo-boo today, telling Univision that Arizona’s immigration law is “not a reflection of an entire political party.” WHAT? ALL REPUBLICANS MUST ADHERE TO PARTY ORTHODOXY, AND THAT ORTHODOXY SHALL BE DICTATED BY THE MOST EXTEME AND HATEFUL AND LOUDEST. Michael Steele obviously thought that Real Americans could not hear his words behind this Messican talking over him, but we must have sophisticated 21st-century technology that now has let our reporters hear the English that is being said. Read more on Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE…
  delicious buttery conspiracies

Joe Biden Swears At FairTax Custard Maker For Only Wanting To Survive As a Small Businessman

“Where’s the ice cream?” “It’s CUSTARD!” Uggh. Joe Biden went to a frozen dairy purveyor in Wisconsin this weekend, and when he asked how much he owed for this photo op custard stuff, some guy in a stupid hat spit out some dumb quip about taxes. So Joe Biden said a swear so that everyone would report about custard and tax wingnuts and not being able to discuss policy when the vice president visits your custard hole today instead of the story that the U.S. is SECRETLY putting WARSHIPS near Iran. What other news have Joe Biden gaffes distracted us from? Read more on Joe Biden Swears At FairTax Custard Maker For Only Wanting To Survive As a Small Businessman…
  a life on video

ALL OF JOE BIDEN’S GAFFES, TOGETHER! Everyone is rushing out to buy the gold box DVD collection of Joe Biden’s Famous Gaffes, what with all the money they saved on health insurance, but you can just click a link on the Internet and watch it right now. [Gawker TV] Read more on …
  but he is such a nice man

Gaffey Joe For Prez In 2016?

Here we have a pretty normal news analysis of Joe Biden: he’s described as frank but endearing, a clown but a statesman, maybe less visible than other Obama staffers but nonetheless a valued member of the team, etc etc… SNOOZE. But! “Aides said he might go for the Democratic presidential nomination in 2016. He would be 74 upon taking office, but his staff insists that’s not too old.” Well, shucks! As long as his paid employees give him the (anonymous) go-ahead, then everything should be fine. Remember how America just elected the 72-year-old John McCain its oldest president ever? Exactly. [Los Angeles Times] Read more on Gaffey Joe For Prez In 2016?…