Tag Archives: gabrielle giffords

  tsk tsk tsk

Gabby Giffords Bullies Senate, NYT Editorial Page, Again

Gabby Giffords is bullying the United States Senate, again. Senators say they fear the N.R.A. and the gun lobby. But I think that fear must be nothing compared to the fear the first graders in Sandy Hook Elementary School felt as their lives ended in a hail of bullets. The fear that those children who survived the massacre must feel every time they remember their teachers stacking them into closets and bathrooms, whispering that they loved them, so that love would be the last thing the students heard if the gunman found them. Read more on Gabby Giffords Bullies Senate, NYT Editorial Page, Again… Read more on Gabby Giffords Bullies Senate, NYT Editorial Page, Again…
  All Over But the Shouting

Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!

It occurred to us that we have not followed up on some very important electoral news: Namely, the fate of several candidates who nobody had ever heard of until they briefly shone in the “weird news” column, and then disappeared from view. What happened to those wackos with all their wackiness? Let it never be said that Your Wonkette doesn’t follow up! Read more on Panty Prosecutor Wins, Evolution-Dumper Loses: Your Lesser Candidate Wrap-Up!…
  Votageddon 2012 Update

Arizona Taking Even Longer To Count Votes Than Florida, Which May Get Unearned Sense Of Competence

Arizona appears to be ahead in the race to the bottom of the electoral-competence barrel, yay! Nearly a week after the election, hundreds of thousands of votes were still waiting to be tallied. To the surprise of absolutely no one, the mess appears to be at least in part a result of the state’s efforts to suppress minority voting enhance ballot security, resulting in a large number of provisional ballots that must be verified by hand. Early votes also make up a large portion of the uncounted ballots, which you would think is a little odd since they were, you know, early and stuff. Read more on Arizona Taking Even Longer To Count Votes Than Florida, Which May Get Unearned Sense Of Competence…
  bad manners

Mean Jerk John Boehner Never Visited Injured Gabby Giffords

John Boehner probably broke down in sobs the last time he realized his spam filter was accidentally eating up all his favorite tanning salon offers from Groupon, but he sure as hell couldn’t be bothered to share a single one of his tears with Gabrielle Giffords while she recovered in Texas: Read more on Mean Jerk John Boehner Never Visited Injured Gabby Giffords…
  fond memories of horrible violence

Arizona GOP Fundraiser Remembers Giffords Shooting With Glock Raffle

Arizona’s paranoid racist teabagger trolls will usually only crawl out of their fallout shelters on the rumor of a good illegal alien desert hunt, but a cool murder weapon giveaway always comes in a close second. The Pima County GOP knows this about their insane constituents, so they are selling raffle tickets to win a Glock pistol to anyone who donates $10 or more to their campaign war chest in memory of the Gabby Giffords shooting in their district that made Glock pistols so popular with fearful teabagger assholes right after the massacre. Never forget, Arizona!   Read more on Arizona GOP Fundraiser Remembers Giffords Shooting With Glock Raffle…
  whiners

Gabby Giffords Appearance Makes Jonah Goldberg Curse Everybody Out

Touchy maggot sack Jonah Goldberg got into “one of his moods” today and typed a column entitled “To Hell With You People” over in his Corner, because he is incredibly sick to his stomach that the vicious liberal media did not bother to crucify and poop on Joe Biden’s corpse for saying something dumb and politically incorrect about how Tea Party legislators were “acting like terrorists” during the debt ceiling negotiations. SUCK DEVIL BALLZ all of you liberal elites, because Gabby Giffords’ surprise appearance in Congress reminds Jonah not of healing or hope, but of exactly how mean everybody in the leftist media was to his irrelevant gun freak girlfriend Sarah Palin when Giffords was shot. A little fairness, you socialist commie assholes? Read more on Gabby Giffords Appearance Makes Jonah Goldberg Curse Everybody Out…
  good news everybody

Surprise Gabrielle Giffords Appearance Brightens Lame House Debt Vote

America’s collective sigh of disgust was interrupted during the House vote on the debt ceiling bill (it passed 269-161) last night when Congresswoman Gabby Giffords made her first appearance back in Congress since being shot through the head in January. It is excellent to see Giffords waving to the chamber’s wild applause as she casts her vote, but we cannot help feeling ashamed on behalf of Congress/everybody. The nice lady who had a bullet fired into her brain by a lunatic felt so bad for Washington and its latest boondoggle that she interrupted her recovery process to fly back to work just so she could vote for a deeply flawed, high-stakes debt ceiling bill everybody hates in order to solve what was a completely made-up crisis. Maybe America could try a bill to save some wetlands next time or something? Read more on Surprise Gabrielle Giffords Appearance Brightens Lame House Debt Vote…
  sadness

Petition To Recall Gabrielle Giffords Not Really Very Nice

Is Rep. Gabrielle Giffords about to be recalled for not showing up for work, because she was shot and nearly killed when she did show up to work, on a weekend in Tucson? No, she probably won’t be recalled. Only 165 people have signed the online petition so far, and even a few of them say they feel bad for doing it. This story’s headline could also be “Sadness Within Sadness,” but what would that even mean? Read more on Petition To Recall Gabrielle Giffords Not Really Very Nice…
  it's morning in america

Newt Gingrich Is Not Allowed In the Republican Party Anymore

Uh oh, you guys, a Republican presidential candidate Said a Thing Yesterday, and considering there was no higher profile candidate to trump (PUN?!) his thing, Newt Gingrich is your official Monday morning Guy Who Said a Thing Yesterday. On Meet the Press (which confirms that this happened Sunday, because if it’s Sunday), criticized the Republican Party in Congress for coming up with actual policy for once (Paul Ryan’s Budget of Wonder), calling the Medicare cuts “right-wing social engineering.” Uh, okay! We guess he is officially kicked out of the Republican Party, for criticizing it. That is usually what happens when people criticize their own party right? Or are we just trapped blogging about politics even though 99% OF POLITICS IS ABOUT NOTHING AT ALL HAPPENING? [WSJ] Read more on Newt Gingrich Is Not Allowed In the Republican Party Anymore… Read more on Newt Gingrich Is Not Allowed In the Republican Party Anymore…
  uncivil unions

Giffords Doesn’t Show Up To Ceremony Naming Arizona’s Official State Gun

Arizona finally made it official: It married a gun. Jan Brewer signed the infamous bill naming the Colt Single Action Army Revolver the state’s official gun yesterday. Congratulations! We’re so happy for you crazy kids (and we mean crazy). It was surely a beautiful ceremony attended by many and their guns, and although Arizona is not exactly a virgin when it comes to guns, we’re sure it had an exciting night of sex with its new gun. The event, however, was marred by the absence of Gabrielle Giffords. Why didn’t she show up to the ceremony? Is she just bitter? Why can’t she just be happy for Arizona and the the murder device that almost took her life? Read more on Giffords Doesn’t Show Up To Ceremony Naming Arizona’s Official State Gun…
  making peter jennings proud

Breathless ABC News Press Release: Our Cameras Caught Gabby Giffords!

Here’s a disgusting little “BREAKING” press release we just got: “Hey guys – Wanted to make sure you saw these first pictures of Gabrielle Giffords since the tragic shooting. Please link back to story and video below if you use.” We sure will, ABC News! Wow, you really tricked that congresswoman who got shot through the head, huh? Bet she wasn’t expecting your paparazzi around that corner sticking a camera in her wounds! You should be very proud of this accomplishment! Read more on Breathless ABC News Press Release: Our Cameras Caught Gabby Giffords!…
  good news? on this site?

Gabrielle Giffords Still Improving

BREAKING: GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN IN THE WORLD FROM TIME TO TIME “I’m told there is nothing that equals the rumble of the earth when this giant manmade force lifts off,” said C. J. Karamargin, the congresswoman’s spokesman, who will also be at the launching. “For the congresswoman to attend is another milestone in her recovery.” Read more on Gabrielle Giffords Still Improving…
  america's greatest state

AZ Senate Wants More Slaughter, Approves Guns For All Everywhere

Arizona’s Republican/Tea Party Senate is a semi-functioning real-life parody of Bloodsoaked Idiot America. This is the legislative body that responded to the awful gun slaughter of state politicians and citizens in Tucson by creating an Official Handgun of the State of Arizona. And now the same group of hate-filled dingbats has passed a bill legalizing loaded guns at all public events. Now every day can be a Safeway slaughter like the one that killed six people and wounded another thirteen for simply taking going grocery shopping and stopping for a moment to say hello to their congressional representative. Read more on AZ Senate Wants More Slaughter, Approves Guns For All Everywhere…