Oh noes this is almost a diplomatic incident or something! Here is Barack Obama leaning ominously over the lap of Japanese Premier Taro Aso during a fancy G-8 summit dinner. White House photographer Pete Souza has surely been around long enough to remember the horrifying incident of 1992 when President George H.W. Bush vomited in the lap of Japanese premier Miyazawa Kiichi — after all, Souza was the White House photographer way back when Reagan was president. What, you don’t remember Bush 41 throwing up in his buddy’s lap? Well come on and look at the video! MORE »

Italy was a pretty important country or whatever about 2,000 years ago, but since then it’s gradually deflated to its current status as a wacky do-nothing ice-cream colony of back hair and male capri pants and trash and rats. Pompey was lucky to die when he did! Now the person running this ancient land-phallus is a naked orange clown who spends all of his time ringleading orgies with young non-wife girls or fiddling around with the roster of the soccer team he randomly owns. Which is great for him! But unfortunately for this Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, he signed Italy up as the host of tomorrow’s latest G8 conference a while back without realizing that he and his minions would have to “do preparation stuff” in advance, so they just did nothing, and now “Washington” is trying to kick this embarrassing pizza-bagel of a country out of its Rich Nations Club once and for all. MORE »

Oh George Bush is having quite a grand time at the annual G8 conference in Japan. He’s not molesting Angela Merkel this time, but he is embarrassing everyone: “The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: ‘Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.’ He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.” Punched the air? Best George W. Bush imagery ever. NEED SECRET VIDEO. [Telegraph]

Hey everyone, what are you having for dinner tonight? Ha ha, we already know the answer and it’s NOTHING, because there is no longer any food in the world. As you may have heard in the news, the world’s most powerful leaders are convening this week for their annual G8 summit, which is being held in Japan this year. Among the top items on this year’s Agenda is devising a plan to combat the global food shortage. And that is why the leaders and their spouses yesterday ate a fancy six-course lunch and 18-course dinner, the highlight of which had to be the chef’s vinegar jelly. How insensitive! Vinegar jelly is the most endangered of the world’s basic foodstuffs. [Daily Mail]

Everyone in Europe is a socialist Liberal arugula-swilling white wine-eating gay elite terrorist statist freedom-hating fairy, except for one man: Silvio Berlusconi, who said today that he favors John McCain, and did so by mocking him: “I suppose I could express my own personal preference for one of the candidates, the Republican candidate, and this is for a very selfish reason, and that is that I would no longer be the oldest person at the upcoming G8.” So far, this is the most reasonable explanation any individual has offered for supporting John McCain. [WSJ]

Dan McQuade of Philadelphia Weekly/Philadelphia Will Do hips us to the props George W. Bush is getting from conservatives for his take-no-prisoners attitude toward choosing soft drinks. In the Philadelphia Daily News, Michael Smerconish chides Bush saying “shit” even as he praises the Ivy Leaguer for knowing what he wants in a calorie-free yet surprisingly tasty soft drink: MORE »