• Hey Britain and France, whatcha up to today? OH NOTHING just accusing Iran of having the most secret and evil nuclear facility ever before the G20. There is also this Thai place in downtown Pittsburgh that we have been meaning to try. [New York Times]
• Najibullah Zazi is probably the most self-realized terrorist the U.S. has ever arrested: he was further along in acting on a more complicated plan than everyone since Osama’s guys in 2001. [New York Times]
• Tim Russert’s dad—the “Big Russ” of Tim Russert’s book, Big Russ and Me—has died. MSNBC is expected to play a four to six week-long Powerpoint in remembrance. [CNN]
• Didja hear?: An important young people activism protest went down in Pittsburgh’s East End last night! A few dozen people were arrested for smashing windows and frankly being rather unpleasant, especially considering what lovely weather we were having yesterday. [Post-Gazette]
• Gaddafi has been saying contradictory mood-swing-y things this whole week: First he called the U.N. a “terror council,” and then he called Obama his “son,” but then he was like, I get it, I get why everyone who had a family member die in the Lockerbie bombing is so upset with me about Lockerbie. [Wall Street Journal]
• Compared to 2007, fewer people are giving less money to the Democrats. This is because the Democrats have either annoyed or attempted to dwindle the fortunes of a lot of their big donors. [Washington Post]

Great photo here from Pittsburgh, the growing & thriving American business city! Huh? Oh, nevermind, 1958 ended a while ago. Tomorrow Pittsburgh will host the latest G20 conference, but NO FOREIGNS ALLOWED. [Flickr]

• The teevee shows Mad Men and 30 Rock LITERALLY WON the Emmy Awards last night. [New York Times]
• President Obama will visit the UN for the first time next week, as will, presumably, some very excited sixth graders from North Jersey. Both will be avoiding Ahmadinejad and Gaddafi. [Times Online]
• The jealous gossips of the SEC might make Bank of America and Merrill Lynch spill all the details about their initial tryst, even though normally this sort of thing is protected under attorney-client privilege and none of anyone else’s business anyway. [New York Times]
• The fellows from Brooklyn who perhaps intended to blow it up are in even bigger trouble now that police unearthed handwritten bombing cheat sheets. [WSJ]
• All the count-y countries are gearing up for the G20, which is being held in Pittsburgh, meaning Obama will have to convince the world’s leaders to follow his economic agenda after he has just forced them to come to Pittsburgh. [Reuters]
• David Paterson is committed to losing the race for governorship of New York despite Obama warning him that as eager as Paterson might be to suffer this public embarrassment, it will be bad for other people (like: the Democrats) too. [CNN]

BLINGEE SUBMISSIONS WINDOW CLOSED: There were zero submissions to our latest Blingee contest for about half an hour, and now there are 100 to 150. GODDAMNIT. This will take a long time to go through, and where the hell is that rascal Intern Juli? So expect the winners post… later. To see who “wins an iPod.” In the meantime enjoy this submission that didn’t fit within the contest’s constraints, but is truly amazing anyway.

Well this is just a great photo, right? It’s the part of a shoot when the photographer tells everyone to “go nuts.” For Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi this means “molest everyone,” while China’s Hu Jintao decides to look as boring as possible and the Arab guy gives a shady, mischievous look, just to freak out Americans. There is too much to say about this, so LET’S JUST DO THIS SHIT: BLINGEE CONTEST. RIGHT NOW. TIME. TO. THROW. DOWN. Send submissions (links and/or attachments) to tips@wonkette.com, subject line “I <3 GORDON BROWN’S ANAL POISON,” by 4:30 ET (ONE HOUR) 5:00 ET and we will post some of the best. The prize is an “iPod.” [TNR]

Barack Obama’s goofy, hated British squire Gordon Brown gave a speech earlier as host of the G20 conference, which is already basically over. Boo! He mentioned that since all countries are screwed, because they’re connected, because of globalization, they have all agreed to kick in a few bucks for loans and shit. But then he said, “a New World Order is emerging.” OH NOES. There are already 10 million versions of this clip on YouTube. “we are freaking screwed,” writes YouTube user “spydat3k.” [YouTube]

Look at these fools. They are the Leaders of Earth, for real! These are great meetings, because all the leaders get to wear some ridiculous native-garb costume so they look like a bunch of nerds at a Star Trek convention, in Iowa. Oh wait, that’s the other World Leader Meeting, right? Ha somebody forgot to tell the guy up front, today is not funny Arab headdress day. Oh and whoops, somebody forgot to tell Ol’ Mushmouth in the middle row that today is not turban day, either. So hard to coordinate! Remember that one time Dick Cheney showed up at a Holocaust memorial service at Auschwitz and thought it was “dress like a snowmobile mechanic” day? [White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy]

It’s another new new unemployment record, America! The happy month of March saw 669,000 U.S. jobs vanish, bringing the jobless rate up to 8.5% — the highest since the end of Reagan’s Lil’ Depression at the end of 1982. About 5 million jobs have now been lost in this current Great Recession. And stocks are on fire — the Dow’s over 8,000 again! MORE »

• The Politico, having already sufficiently raped and pillaged the Morning, Evening, and Afternoon, now has its sights set on the THE DAWN, the rosy fingertips of which it will pry its signature demon scooplets from mercilessly. (No but, uh, actually. See bottom.) [Ben Smith]
• Nate Silver’s pet Andrew has thrown up some math numbers about tied elections being rare (…?), but not before warning us that “probably Nate could come up with something a bit more precise.” Sad. [538]
• Slate has a CONTRARIAN new article about how pointless the G20 is. Just try telling that to the millions who have risked their iPhones and limited-run sneakers and taken to the streets today in London to march against (or for?) something or other. [Slate]
• 2008 human souvenir Carly Fiorina might mount an unsuccessful run against Barbara Boxer. [CNN Political Ticker]
• A sneak peek at the ADP report reveals that something like three quarters of a million jobs were lost in March. But this is good news, you see, because now that there are no more jobs, we cannot possibly report greater losses in April. [AMERICAblog]

The YouTubes are flooded with protest videos from G20 where, in quieter quarters, Obama is giving the Queen an iPod filled with libidinous American “noise.” This offers a good Aerial Shot, though, of the protesters — whose parents are probably inside the conference, deciding interest rate policy — taunting the Bobbies, who simply have to take one step forward to scare them all away for a few seconds. [YouTube]

President Obama has dispatched an army of sterilization goons to London in advance of the G20 meeting this week. Their task: to remove the gonads of any human who invades the “sterile area” around the president. Obama also sent his driver over early so that he could familiarize himself with the quaint English custom of driving on the wrong side of the road, a practice known locally as “buggery.” MORE »