Tag: furries

Well this sure is upsetting, no it's not.

Rand Paul’s Terrible Horrible Totally F*cked Up Day

Today was supposed to be Rand Paul's Big Day, the one where he was able to say "look at me, DAD, I'm a big kid now, gonna be the president you never got to be!" Instead, he ended up...
How good do you heart America?

Stop Hating America So We Can Look Into This Benghazi Thing For The First Time Ever

Talking about torture is just so yesterday. And besides, there is no reason to talk about bad things our country might have done, because we're America, and we don't do bad things. And if you say that we do,...

Meet The RNC’s Unstoppable Hillary-Destroying FRENCH Squirrel Of Principled Free Market Opposition To Keynesian Theory (Updated!)

This nugget of 2016 Campaign Intelligence from Patrick Caldwell at Mother Jones tells us that the race is getting serious: The Republicans have deployed their first Furry against the still-not-official campaign of Hillary Clinton. Named "HRC Squirrel," the mascot...

Nice College Students Defend Sanctity Of Giraffe-Tiger Marriage

Hey, don't forget: we're not just electing a president today! We're also electing a bunch of senators, many of whom have strong opinions about ladies who get raped, and some losers in the House too, ugh, who has...

Here Is Photo Proof That Newt Gingrich Is Finally President of Space

Well, Newt Gingrich has at last achieved his lifelong goal of conquering the void of empty space. Just look at him out there, the brave emperor of a vast, dark and lonely realm surrounded by his only true companions,...

Which Of These Magnificent CPAC Events Should We Attend?

Only one more day until CPAC, and the Revolution! Your Wonkette is pissing its pants just looking at the bill of events and all the exciting opportunities to learn about how dumb liberals are. Why does the bathroom have...

Taiwanese Political Animators Finally Get Perfect Subject: David Wu

For a brief moment of Internet Time, everybody on the Internet loved the NMA wacky Taiwanese animated YouTube versions of the latest U.S. political scandals. And then, like everything, these videos (and the whole concept) got old. In desperation,...

Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All

Well, that was fast! Furry sex aficionado Rep. David Wu announced he will resign after the debt crisis negotiations are over (hahaha, so actually he means "never") because of this sexytime incident with the 18-year-old daughter of his high...

Furry Sex Creep Oregon Democrat Is Your New Anthony Weiner

Who wants to hear about boring old "debt ceiling" issues such as old people being pushed into landfills because of no more money? What America needs is a Way To Laugh Again, and it got that bouquet of clown...

Rahm Emanuel Shares Romantic Moment With Bull Furry

In a related story, now that our long national birth-certificate nightmare is over, is everyone going to have sex and make babies in the midst of all this excitement? LOOK AT THE BIRTH RATES IN NINE MONTHS. AND ALSO...

Allegedly Insane Rep. David Wu Also Appears To Be a Furry

Congressman David Wu of Oregon did some interesting things right before his re-election in last year's midterm elections. He allegedly wandered around Oregon like an insane person, for one. Also, it appears he sent his staff e-mails like an...

PBS Deploying Furries To Save Its Federal Funding From Teabaggers

When Juan Williams was fired for talking about being nervous around Muslims, Republicans apparently found an opening to defund public broadcasting, which should be used to inform America about Sharia law and to prop up Tucker Carlson's career, not...

Where In DC To Spot Masturbating Witches This Halloween

Would you look at that, it's time for Halloween. Perhaps you are putting the finishing touches on your Sexy Sarah Palin/Tina Fey Costume, or is that not *in* this year? So maybe you're going to dress up as the...

Anderson Cooper Falls For the Old ‘Apes Say Put On a Bunny Suit’ Trick

Kids, do you like the journalism? Of course not. You don't even know what it is. But if you did, you might think it's a respectable way to make a living. You would, of course, be wrong about that,...

Carl Paladino’s Gay Nephew Quits Thriving Paladino Furry Campaign

Carl Paladino likes to point to his gay nephew, Jeff Hannon, as evidence that he's no homophobe. That's funny, because Jeff Hannon seems to think Carl Paladino is a homophobe, as the 23-year-old has stopped showing up to work...

Here Is a News Story About Ancient Penguins

Here it is, like we said: Penguins didn't always boast tuxedo-like black-and-white markings, according to a new study. The discovery of the first ancient penguin fossil with evidence of feathers reveals the aquatic birds were once reddish-brown and gray. The...