After eight years of that alky teetotaler George W. Bush, it’s always a delight to see that your president is man enough to have a beer without turning into some raging drunken elder-abusing asshole. Here is Barack Obama just cold slurpin’ a cold one with his powerful baseball-fan friends. On the left, let’s see, that’s probably Bill Gates. Hi Bill! And on the right … hmm, maybe Madonna? Let’s say Madonna. [White House Flickr]

The bounty hunters at CNN have located the plantation from which Michelle Obama escaped, and returned her. Pulitzer for Public Service much? [CNN via Wonkette bounty hunter "Patrick"]

Alert UK journalist “Richard” sent us this Reuters pic, wondering what kind of movie Willie Mays and Robert Gibbs and the sleazy White House press pool enjoyed last night on the flight over to the MLB All-Star game. What do you people think? MORE »

Oh noes this is almost a diplomatic incident or something! Here is Barack Obama leaning ominously over the lap of Japanese Premier Taro Aso during a fancy G-8 summit dinner. White House photographer Pete Souza has surely been around long enough to remember the horrifying incident of 1992 when President George H.W. Bush vomited in the lap of Japanese premier Miyazawa Kiichi — after all, Souza was the White House photographer way back when Reagan was president. What, you don’t remember Bush 41 throwing up in his buddy’s lap? Well come on and look at the video! MORE »

The Official White House Caption on this shocking Pete Souza photo reads, “President Barack Obama jokingly reacts to news that staffer Nora Becker will be leaving to pursue a joint MD and PhD in healthcare economics during the White House staff picnic on the South Lawn, June 26, 2009.” Eh, looks to us like he’s just cold lungin’ for two handfuls of Smarty McCollegey. [White House Flickr/Pete Souza]

Got plans this week? Yes you do! You are going to this thing, the “Defeat Sotomayor” Road Show, sponsored by anti-abortion nut Randall Terry’s “Operation Rescue.” No abortions allowed here! The main event will feature this alien cyborg shooting silly string at all the pregnant ladies, as a blessing. (Before killing them all!) [ThinkProgress]

Courtesy of Wonkette commenter Atheist Nun, here’s your Fourth of July Blingee, featuring history’s lamest whining quitter. Whether Sarah Palin will be indicted and put in prison forever or not, we will always appreciate her, in our hearts, for ruining the teabaggers’ big plans to have all 500 teabaggers meet in a park somewhere to complain about having socialist parks where they can meet. Sorry, teabaggers! Happy Independence Day, everybody! Click the to watch Barack Obama’s happy July 4th video e-card! MORE »

Good news for the Political Arts: Our Chicago pal Lauri Apple is now officially Wonkette’s op-art artist-contributor of Fine Political Arts! And here is her delightful chart of Sarah Palin’s many, many half-dozen regrets in life. Click for the full-size version, and say hi to Lauri. MORE »

The Virgin Palin, Our Lady of Eternal Anger, gave birth to the New Jesus at some point last year — or not, who knows, and now Andrew Sullivan just cares about Iran (which is a good thing!) so we’ll never find out the truth — and ever since it has been both a Cardinal/Venial Sin and Sharia Law that no mortal shall “desecrate” an image of the Sacred One … no one but Sarah Palin herself, because Allah both allows and encourages the use of the Holy Infant as a cheap political prop as long as such cruel hackery is performed by the Virgin Palin herself. MORE »

One-man circus Michael Jackson has officially died, and somebody is very, very happy about this news. (That “somebody” is Mark Sanford. Adios, Mark! Enjoy the rest of your life.) We, of course, could give a hoot about Michael Jackson, although your editor once free-lanced a “concert review” of Wacko Jacko’s post-pedophile (?) 1996 performance in Prague, and the National Enquirer paid something like $500, enough for a plane ticket back to America. So, thanks, Michael! Thanks for the good times, and thanks to Vladan for getting us the Ecstasy so we could tolerate that awful spectacle. Also, Michael, you sure did get yourself photographed with a lot of 1980s and ’90s presidents! You were truly the Barack Obama of that particular era. MORE »

Black Irish immigrant leprechaun Patrick “Sinead” Buchanan knows what kinds of immigrants he hates: all the ones who showed up after his ring-kissing potato-drunkard parents were dumped by the British in New York Harbor as a final retaliation for the American Revolution. That’s why Buchanan and his wacky white-supremacist friends are, these days, mostly concerned with keeping the Puerto Ricans out of our nation’s courtrooms — them don’t speak good English! Also, these lamers failed to notice their own “The American Cause” conference banner does not spell “conference” correctly, but at least it’s not a dirty, dirty Mexican. [Think Progress/Shakesville]