Oh, you didn’t know? Allah made Harry Reid black, as “punishment” for saying “Negro dialect.” But he still has Harry Reid’s voice, is the thing! Anyway what’s this thing, jobs bill, okay sounds good… MORE »

Are we seeing this correctly? Because we think we’re seeing it correctly: Andre Bauer, the allegedly gay-as-the-dickens French lieutenant governor of “America’s Bordeaux,” South Carolina, has provided CNN with his gayest-ever photo to accompany its article about how he regrets comparing poor people to poor French farm animals, the ones he and Tom Cruise would eat AVEC UNE BOISSON PENDANT LA GUERRE DU TEMPS HAW HAW HAW! [CNN]

Listen, Senator Scott, unless you want your senatorial daughters to end up like old what’s-his-name’s nutty daughter with the boobs and the retractable regrettable Twittering, it’s time to cover up those gals and live like a real Republican. MORE »

Did you read the big New York Times Magazine thing about Harry Reid? Neither did we! But artistic contributor Lauri Apple claims to have at least skimmed the 58,000-word feature, which apparently revealed that the 70-year-old Nevada senator wears black (African-American?) yoga pants and Grateful Dead t-shirts. Gross. Also, from another article altogether — about how Reid has a 52% unfavorable rating in his home state, and has three no-name teabaggers ahead of him in the polls for whenever he’s up for re-election — we learned that the scene in Casino where the mobster is getting the what-for from that Gaming Commission guy, well the Gaming Commission guy was really Harry Reid! (We don’t remember that scene, either.) [NYT Magazine]

Check out this crusty old bit of sex-on-wheels, sent from a Wonkette Arkansas operative: “Here is a photo, from today, of Arkansas State Senator Kim Hendren’s car parked in his reserved slot at the state capitol. He is the front runner in the Republican primary to challenge Blanche Lincoln. He’s the one who called Chuck Schumer ‘that Jew.’” Just blast a lil’ Whitesnake and throw on a tattered jean jacket, and Hendren’s set himself up for a steamy night of trailer trash tail (including Blanche Lincoln.)

“Dale Robertson, a Tea Party activist who operates TeaParty.org, is getting stung for an old photo — taken at the Feb. 27, 2009 Tea Party in Houston — in which he holds a sign reading ‘Congress = Slaveowner, Taxpayer = Niggar.’ After the ResistNet listerv promoted ‘Liberty Concerts’ to be held by TeaParty.org, a source passed on this photo of Robertson…” WHAT? IT’S JUST AN EXPRESSION. (Keep in mind that the president of TeaParty.org, which will put on this year’s ‘Freedom Concerts,’ would be essentially the most important figure on the American Right.) [Washington Independent]

So, uh … here we are! One decade deep into the 21st Century. This is what it’s like, apparently. Jesus. Well … guess we’ll go on back to bed now.

Thank you, Daniel McQuade, for taking this picture of this Real True Calendar while Xmas Shopping for your Mom.

Everybody will always remember exactly where they were and what they were doing when CNN put a Star Wars hologram on the teevee. MORE »

It’s not New Year’s until the ball drops in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, and Christmas celebrations cannot begin until a woman knocks over the Pope on Christmas Eve. And so began another Feliz Navidad around the world, once the lady knocked down the Pope. Happy Holiday, CNN online editor stuck working on Christmas Day! [CNN International]

Here’s a special Xmas Photo of your president and first lady “getting down” (that’s Chicago ACORN talk) with the red space monster “MUNO” from teevee’s Yo Gabba Gabba. Who would want to go to Hawaii when you could do this all night, in front of a portrait of George Washington, WHO BUILT THIS HOUSE WITH BLACK SLAVE LABOR? [Flickr]

Wonkette artistic contributor (and Chicago Reader staffer, yay!) Lauri Apple has a special War On Xmas Eve present to bless all of you, everyone: It’s the Talking Thomas Friedman Doll, direct from a business-class flight from some exotic foreign destination with Pizza Huts and golf courses! He’s so full of crap, your dogs will try to eat him! MORE »

Did you know it’s impossible to spell “Funny Pictures” without the name “Katherine Harris” … as part of the caption from one of the many photographs of Katherine Harris that your Wonkette has posted under the “Funny Pictures” tags, over the years? Well, then welcome to the “Virtual Reality Based Community” or whatever it was called, shuck ‘n awe, etc. MORE »

Why look who’s here, America’s “Commander of Cheer,” Mister President Obama! And he’s got plenty to laugh about! Just think, when this millennium began just 10 years ago, people like Barack Obama were still legally considered slaves. And now it’s the white people who are HIS slaves. Haw haw! MORE »

Plus! How serious and historical is the Internet’s new photo that will never be displayed out of context? [White House Flickr]