fundraising
Each day is an adventure for Mike Huckabee. Some days he’s all happy and a-slappin’ the bass and whizzing off churchy jokes to his elderly fan base, other days he’s angry as a constipated cockatoo in search of the great release. (Other days he is a leading possibility for President of the United States of [...]
The esteemed KARL ROVE & CO. firm is out with its first electoral map of the season, and whoo boy does it show some kinda landslide for Barack Obama, giving him approximately 700 electoral votes. Really, Karl? South Carolina as a toss-up? South Carolina only does two things, and it does them well: voting against [...]
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee and man-shaped pile of hair gel Mitt Romney needs some more scratch, fellows, and so his surrogates are passing around a nifty Kickstarter-style menu of fabulous prizes you could get if you had 50,000 clams that for some weird reason you did not need for shelter, food, or four months worth [...]
Sarah Palin’s SarahPAC, which is not a slush fund at all but a pool of money to support principled conservative politicians, made all sorts of money in Q12012. Which lucky ducky congressional candidates were the recipients of America’s most unpopular political person’s largesse? The most sizable sums this time went to “go fuck yourself” and [...]
Following a first-quarter fundraising haul in which she doubled sexy human bear rug Scott Brown’s take, everyone’s favorite plainspoken Minnesota Girl Scout troop leader Harvard professor/US Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren is just cold clicking “forward” on Brown’s latest sad fundraising email and sending it on to all her supporters, while doubled over laughing. Penalty! Penalty! [...]
Vainglorious turd blossom Newt Gingrich is running out of wealthy dupes to write him checks allowing him to prolong his hilariously doomed book-tour candidacy, so he is out with a tragic new campaign ad, which as one can see from the screen grab mostly features Newt begging for treats like a dazed zoo seal performing [...]
Organizers of Wisconsin’s effort to recall remorseless demon Scott Walker from office are said to be dumping three thousand pounds of petition signatures off with election officials today per the collection deadline, hooray! Scott Walker is taking the news exactly like the comical cartoon villain that he is, and he immediately flew to New York [...]
The Democratic Party is still not entirely sure what to do with this “Occupy Wall Street” stuff beyond allowing for a few cautious statements from one or another “liberal” member of Congress let out of the pen for a few minutes to say something to the effect of “it’s possible people might be somewhat fed [...]
Rick Perry was going to save the Republicans from having to vote for a liberal Mormon from Taxachusetts, but then Rick Perry actually opened his mouth, and everybody outside of Texas realized for the first time that he’s an imbecile. It seemed Perry had everything it took to become president of America, as he is [...]
This is a screen capture from the exciting beggar’s epistle that arrived in our inbox today from Michele Bachmann! See it there at the bottom, that last sentence? Right, so here’s our question: does this mean Michele Bachmann would actually, personally write “Thank you, Jism! Love, Michele” in one of her vulgar vampire fiction books [...]
Man, who knows how to monetize “doing nothing” better than grifter-quitter grandma Sarah Palin? Palin’s SarahPAC sent out a letter asking for more donations in order to help Sarah in “making her decision of whether or not to run for office,” because Sarah Palin is the kind of narcissistic psycho hosebeast who believes she is [...]
