• February 13, 2012

fundraisers

Wow. This is a very acerbic Sarah Palin dressed up in a classic batshit old hag “leopard print muu-muu, beehive and spectacles” ensemble as she practically snarls at the retirement home folk who were bussed in to nap through her speech at Disneyworld. (And oh look, she’s standing behind a sign that is exactly one [...]

President Obama is celebrating his birthday tonight, with Jennifer Hudson and those treadmill-dancing fellows. He is doing this in Chicago, so your Wonkette decided to give up a perfectly good Wednesday evening to try to go hear Rahm Emanuel yell some swears. This did not happen, and overall it was a very boring street gathering [...]

Remember this? Well somebody must have turned very red! And then he got a little angry: White House officials have banished one of the best political reporters in the country from the approved pool of journalists covering presidential visits to the Bay Area for using now-standard multimedia tools to gather the news. The Chronicle’s Carla [...]

President Obama held a fundraiser in San Francisco yesterday, and, would you believe it, some people don’t like the fact that he hasn’t honored his campaign promises! Slow-working security guys failed to wrangle a group of protestors at the $5,000 a plate gig, and they were able to complete a protest song. “That was a [...]

UH OH! President Obama had his first fundraiser of the season in Chicago last night, and after his remarks, a microphone that was left on caught the socialist conversing candidly with donors. What did he say? He made fun of John Boehner and Paul Ryan for being terrible, basically. On Paul Ryan: “this is the [...]

Though foreign reporters are still filing stories from Libya these days, such freedoms do not exist in the Landfill of Humanity on this side of the Atlantic, a place also known as “Florida.” On Wednesday morning, Orlando Sentinel reporter Scott Powers went to cover a Bill Nelson fundraiser featuring Joe Biden at one of those [...]

Tonight, history will be made. “Join the launch of the historic effort to Defeat Barack Obama with America’s most influential and conservative ‘Joe’s’ at the pre-launch party,” says the invitation. “No,” you’re thinking to yourself. “But — it’s impossible, right? They can’t get all three.” OH, BUT THEY CAN. The Tea Party Express’ Our Country [...]

Somehow President Obama is not as eloquent as usual when he’s delivering a speech at a fundraiser. It could be because he’s just there to get people to give candidates money. Or it could be because people show up to yell at him, and keep yelling at him when he’s trying to speak.

Charlie Rangel’s birthday party was very inconvenient for state Democratic politicians. On the one hand, he is an utter disgrace slowly being brought down, at long last, by ethics charges. On the other hand, there were free “heaping plates of roast beef, goat cheese and onion rings.” But Charlie Rangel resorted to pitifully desperate measures [...]

The Republican Party has taken this movie trailer meme and really run with it. Oh, did you think this summer was rather boring in terms of political news? YOU THOUGHT WRONG. That music that plays in slow-motion terrorism movies is playing, and it seems our black president is raising money for his party’s candidates as [...]

Colorado Democrat Andrew Romanoff is having trouble raising money for his Senate primary campaign against Sen. Michael Bennet, so he decided to go the “desperate homeless man making bad decisions” route, as he sold his house and gave to his campaign the $325,000 he got out of it. ā€œI’m never home anyway,ā€ Romanoff said. And [...]

Michael Steele is having trouble not illegally hiding RNC finances, and Andrew Breitbart is having trouble not being a human poop-leech, so it is only fitting that these two comedic geniuses have joined forces to raise money for the RNC! Surely rich white people will want to take photographs with their favorite national joke and [...]

A political party from Saskatchewan, the Canadian province just east of Mordor that’s known to nearby sprites and snow-furries as “hockey’s Arkansas,” recently planned a fundraising “pig roast” for which the guest of honor would be a fireman who nearly died on 9/11, in New York City.

NEWS SHOCKER: Meg Stapleton, holder of the World’s Worst Job as spokeswoman for an increasingly fragile and erratic unemployed publicity hound, had to once again explain at the very last minute how Sarah Palin would not be headlining an event that the event organizers thought she would be headlining. This happens every five days or [...]

Riddle us this, finance experts: why would you go to all the trouble of (allegedly) forging a bunch of documents in order to get a $74 million loan and then repay the loan all quick-like once it became clear that Johnny Law was onto you? So much effort for a bunch of money you apparently [...]