Tag: fundraiser

Barack Obama Ain’t Got Time For Congressjerk Darrell Issa Pretending They Are Friends

If you want to win, link yourself to a president you hate, but who has a much higher approval rating.
He thinks he looks like Elton John. We think he looks like James O'Keefe in a bad wig.

Master Of Disguise James O’Keefe Catches Russ Feingold Saying Shockingly Bland Things About Guns

Get ready for another shocking undercover video by James O'Keefe. You may need coffee.

Angry Youths Attempt Riot in Chicago While Trump Begs For Money

Greetings and salutations form Chicago! While Hillary Clinton was brainwashing Bernie Sanders with mind control worms earlier, Donald Trump was begging for cash in Chicago at the hotel palace that he doesn't even own anymore. In response to His...

Trump Snatches Oreos From Chris Christie’s Slavering Maw

Donald Trump is now dictating the snacks Chris Christie can and can't eat, because he wants all his WASPy spokes-whores to look absolutely stunning and marvelous when they strut their silicone this summer. How can we make Make America...
Scary Monsters then, Scary Monsters now

McCain Fundraiser Nabbed In Meth-Lab Bust. This Is Excellent News For John McCain!

A top fundraiser for Sen. John McCain was arrested Tuesday in a Phoenix meth lab bust -- or at least, according to the very careful phrasing in the Arizona Republic, Emily Pitha is a "woman listed as the RSVP...

Mike Huckabee Lectures Jewishes In Their Homeland. It Does Not Go Well

Oozing chancroid sore Mike Huckabee traveled to Israel recently to explain to his mishpucha why he will be the best president of the United States of Israel EVER, now give him all the Jew money, please and thank you. You'd think...
'This is just entertainment'

PC Police Murder Blackface Fundraiser For Cops Who Killed Freddie Gray

Let's say you want to raise some money to defend the six Baltimore cops charged with the murder of Freddie Gray. They can't do a GoFundMe, because GoFundMe is racist against criminal defense fundraising, so how about a concert?...
Guy needs a monocle and a Persian cat

Kickstarter For Joe Arpaio To Crush His Enemies Like Cockroaches They Are

The last time we checked in on Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, he was having a terrible horrible no-good very bad day: He was facing a contempt of court charge for ignoring federal court orders telling him to stop...
Something must be done about all this nondiscriminating!

Wonkette Fires Gay For Freedom, Make Us GoFundMe Now

Yr Wonkette was pretty impressed by the story of Memories Pizza, the brave little Christian-owned pizzeria in Walkerton, Indiana, which announced it would definitely not cater any gay weddings, no way, not ever. It was a pretty brave stance, considering...

Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole

You might remember the horrific story about Michelle Wilkins, the pregnant woman in Longmont, Colorado, who was attacked by a deranged woman with a knife, who stabbed her, removed her 7-month-old fetus in an amateur C-section, and then was...
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Deleted Comments Of The Week: We Are Illiterate Illegal Parasites In Prison. Science Fact!

Since Disqus has brought us a bunch of new commenters (Hi! Welcome To The Monkeyhouse! Play nice!), we'd just like to 'splain why we moderate comments in the first place, instead of allowing unfettered Free Speach: It's because we...
Hey, what do I know?

Scott Walker Would Like All The Money For You To Pray With Him, Please

Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker got re-elected somehow -- mandate of heaven, we guess -- and he's putting together plans for a big inaugural hootenanny. Now, in years past, inaugural events in Wisconsin used to also double as fundraisers for...
Sure, darling, tomorrow is all yours.

German Town Punks Neo-Nazis, Raises Funds To Fight Neo-Nazis

We have to admit we love a good caper where the bad guys get burned -- that moment at the end of The Sting (spoiler warning for a 1973 movie everyone should've seen by the age of 14 anyway)...
Peen pointers now available at Office Depot

Sarah Silverman Gets A Peen So She Can Escape The $500,000 Vagina Tax

Here is a video from Sarah Silverman, who has finally figured out how to deal with the wage gap between men and women -- just replace her wage-lowering vagina with a value-added penis! And that why she's off to...
Dude, your photo's all Batman and stuff

Gay City Council Candidate Happy To Tick Off Baptists With ‘Southern Baptist Sissies’ Fundraiser

The smiling left-leaning fellow in the photo is Nashville's John Lasiter (no, the Pixar guy is John Lasseter; pay attention!), the city's first openly gay candidate for Metro Council. And because he's a pretty cool guy and doesn't afraid of...
You want Arbeit Macth Fries with that?

McDonalds Fires Mom Who Let Daughter Go To Park By Herself Because Who Wants A Troublemaker?

Just because there's almost no story that couldn't stand to get a little uglier, McDonalds has gone and fired Debra Harrell, the woman who was arrested last week for letting her 9-year-old daughter go play in a park unattended...