Tag: fundamentalists

Sundays With The Christianists: Read This Dumb Comic And Burn Your Ouija Board!

Those crazy kids and their demon-summoning!

Sundays With The Christianists: Comics To Scare Your Teen Away From Porn!

Read this comic and be free of sin! Or at least be one very amused sinner.

‘Christian Nation’ All Fun & Games Till Erick Erickson Decides You’re A Heretic

NOBODY expects the Erickson Inquisition!

Pat Robertson Doesn’t Understand Why NFL Loves Georgia Buttsex So Much

America's senile grandpa Pat Robertson is having a confuseness in his brain. You see, Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal (The Republican) announced that he would veto HB 757, a bill to protect the "religious freedom" of dongweasel lunatic fundamentalist Christians...
Which one is the grossest? Yes!

Jesus Sends Josh Duggar’s Penis Home From Sex Rehab With Clean Bill Of Health

Hide your kids, hide your wives, hide your sisters, hide your dogs, hide your other sisters, hide your porn stars, hide your mom, hide your granny, hide your Ashley Madison password, BASICALLY HIDE EVERYTHING that has a vagina or...

Hero Restaurant Manager Drops Mic Over Religious Pamphlets Left As Tips

Anyone who has ever been a server for any length of time has at one point or another been subjected to a religious tract in lieu of a tip. When you see what looks like a $20, only to...
SAD HUCK.

Mike Huckabee Sad Everyone Hates Him So Much, Even Jesus

Oh, dear, it must be double super tough to be a "Mike Huckabee" these days! He can't pay his own campaign staffers, and he's noticed, suddenly all of a sudden, how everybody who's alive hates him, and also everybody...

Did Alleged Abusive Baby-Hoarding Kansas Councilman Steal A Child From Lesbians? Probably

Remember Topeka Councilman Jonathan Schumm, and his sad wife, Allison, and how they were IN JAIL for felony child abuse of at least one of their 16 children? Thanks to excellent reporting by Buzzfeed, we have two new gross...
Are they giggling because they stealed a baby???

The Duggars Will Help You Steal A Baby In Five Days Or Less, Maybe

Doesn't it blow when you want a baby but you ain't got no baby, and they won't let you take home the first one you see at the baby store? That's when you have to get on your knees and...
HISTORY FACT.

Dumb Millennials Don’t Even Believe Jesus Rode Dinosaurs

Millennials, they are THE WORST. They're always like "Mommy, can you write a note to my teacher in medical school to say he's being mean?" and "Hey Taylor Swift, why is this gross old lady Alanis Morissette on stage...
These baristas will keep you safe and warm.

First Starbucks Destroys Christmas, Now It’s Gay For The Queers?

Well, well, well, Starbucks sure has made clear where it stands in the culture wars this week, and it's definitely not on the side of Jesus! First it made a red cup that didn't even have Christmas decorations it, like...
Making that face is one of the things he learned in sex rehab.

Did Josh Duggar Jailbreak From Sex Rehab? Guard Your Sheep And Your Women!

Uh oh, it's Duggar Friday at the Wonkette! (Which is different from Duggar Tuesday, where ladies Duggar all night for free, and Duggar Thursday, which is all-you-can-eat ewwwwww.) So let's find out if there's anything going on in the...
I IS SMART.

Kim Davis’s Lawyer Tells Elected Official To Do Her Damn Job. For Real.

There are several things we know about the Kim Davis case. For one, the Kentucky clerk is an obvious victim of the homosexual conspiracies, who will roast in hell if she gets gay on her by signing marriage licenses, because her...
They're watching you.

Jesus Buying All His Christmas Presents At Hobby Lobby And Chick-Fil-A From Now On

It's the most wonderful time of the year, almost! We've had a real good start to the War On Christmas, thanks to Starbucks making a cup that does not explicitly mention how the Baby Jesus died so you can...

Kansas Teacher Does The Gay Agenda To Kids, Refuses To Resign In Shame

Welcome to Kansas, where the deer and the antelope play, the cows had voting rights before the women, and you're not supposed to be nice to the homosexuals. So there's a middle school social studies teacher in Conway Springs, Kansas,...
Except for this one franchise! They love the gays!

Chick-Fil-A Fails To Meet 2015 Gay-Bashing Quotient. Fix It, Jesus!

Oh no! The wingnut gay-hatin' fans of Chick-fil-A, whose bodies are composed of 96 percent trans fat and 4 percent Jesus meat, are dripping lard lumps of rage all over their everywheres, because this one Chick-fil-A in Nashville did something nice for gays!...