Fine, Austin is “okay.” And lightly populated West Texas is very nice, what with Big Bend National Park and the Mexican town of El Paso and whatever, as it’s really part of the Southwest. But Texas, that dipshit dismal swamp between, oh, Dallas and Corpus Christi, where the vast majority of the Texans live? It’s just the fucking South. A dumb, toxic shithole that produces little more than incredible assholes, many of whom then insist on taking part in American life. The last “good” Texan in politics was LBJ, and he was a goddamned monster. So, here is the new commercial. Good-bye, Texas! Thanks for all the laffs. (You can take the rest of the South with you.) [YouTube via Wonkette Operative "TGM."]

THANKS FOR NOTHING! Oh hey you can go “thank” old what’s-his-name, the guy who is still technically the president! No room for a special message, so your Wonkette just left “Fukk You Assclown” as our “e-signature.” PS — Do not donate to this website, just leave your “name” and go away, quickly. [Thank You President George W. Bush]

There are no more nights in politics or business — only the endless horrible grind of collapse and fuckery, 24 hours a day, including this newest chapter in our latest, greatest depression: Washington Mutual has collapsed, and was closed by the Federal Government late Thursday night. It’s the biggest bank failure in U.S. history. And the bipartisan congressional-White House-Treasury bailout deal that might have stopped the bloodshed, well John McCain visited Washington for the first time in half a year and wrecked EVERYTHING. MORE »

With the last troops home from Iraq, the deficit paid off, George W. Bush behind bars and Dick Cheney successfully hanged, tomorrow Congress will hold hearings on the iPhone. MORE »

* “How do you say no to someone without feeling a touch guilty?” [Bloomingdale (for now)]
* The storm didn’t seem that bad, but apparently it wreaked havoc. [ABC 7 News]
* The truce is over? Shit. [In Shaw (now with more gentrification)]
* Could someone get The DCeiver a “fucktardese” translator? [The DCeiver]
* “Basically, if you buy your car out of state and then register your car in DC, there is something they call ‘Title Excise Tax.’ I call this ’sodomy with a nine-iron.’” [Drift Reality]