Republicans can’t really make up their minds about waterboarding, hiring illegal immigrants, or picking a decent frontrunner. They can, however, develop individual attachments to certain foodstuffs, many of which go on to define their characters in embarrassing (for our purposes) fashion. After the jump, we ask you, readers: Which Republican foodstuff will lace your Jesusy feast next week? And if you’re not Christian, well, you’ll have to eat gruel and fetuses with the Demrats. MORE »

While there’s no fruitcake in Rudy’s second Christmas (or should I say holiday?) ad, there is more fakery in it than a Mitt Romney abortion speech. His collegial repartee with Santy Claus, however, reveals the niceness for the fraud that it is: The two get a good laugh over how Rudy’s the meanest, most vengeful politician in the election. What a fruitcake. [Join Rudy 2008]

Rudy Giuliani has unveiled his Christmas ads (because there are multiple ones!), within which he fantasizes about allowing the Virgin Mary to get an abortion for Jesus, since he’s soooo pro-choice. Either that, or — as in the one above — he screams about FRUITCAKE! with Santy Claus. I think we have a new running joke, and I also think “FRUITCAKE!” while holding a candy cane will be Giuliani’s “Howard Dean moment.” Someone at the RNC should inject this man with 911 cc’s of 9/11-serum before his faghagness becomes uncontainable. [Join Rudy 2008]