All we can say is that our Anonymous Hill Staffer needs to get laid. There is notable lack of actual sex and a surfeit of the simulated variety this week, as well as a couple lessons in increasing your word power (among other things).

AHS also let us know that he’d been drinking less than usual this week, because, apparently, a lot of work has to get done in Congress before everyone skips town on Friday. It’s Jesus’ fault, natch. “It’s his birthday or his anniversary coming up next week, so everyone’s going home to be act like they’re good Jesus-lovers.” On that note, this week’s installment of Ask A Hill Staffer is after the jump.

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